sadpanda87 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 hi folks, back to ... dont know, just thought itd feel better to write something its been 6 months since we broke up. it was very nasty. shes prolly with my ex-best friend atm, not that i know for sure since ive tried very hard to keep up NC ive quit the job that i took up for her. didnt really like it too much but it paid well enough to buy whatever she wanted. maybe i'll go look for something i enjoy now. will try to go back to family for xmas, guess it wont really help my spirits to spend it alone. i think im feeling slightly better. accepted the fact that these things happen and it wasnt necessarily all my fault which led to the disaster. but i still feel terrible, when i do something that reminds me of us i struggle a little with the amount of sorrow i feel. im packing the things she left at my place but i really dont know if i should drop it off and risk running into her or her family. dont think id handle it very well. worst would be to run into the new bf, im scared id get violent even though im usually very good with self control. but overall i think im starting to move on, i tried dating a few other girls but stopped because all signs pointed to me not being over this relationship. i'l wait... i hope the time will come soon when i can truly turn over a new leaf
Sarahbee Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Good on you for being self aware enough to not date other people when you're not over your heartbreak. If only everyone was so high on the EQ scale, a lot of pain could be avoided! If you have things of hers, maybe you could either throw them away if they're just small things, or send them to her. You're risking opening the wound up if you try to take them to her, and as you say, you don't know how you'd react if you saw her or her new bf. Best to keep away and not put yourself in that situation. Sometimes we tend to idealise the person we've lost, and think that we'll never meet anyone who we can feel like that about again. It's normal to have those feelings, but it's also our minds playing games with us, and making us want what we can't have. You're able to see that the breakup wasn't all your fault which is good, it wasn't. There were things about the relationship that made it unworkable at this time. You're accepting that too, so you're well on the way. I don't know when the sadness will stop, but I know that it definitely will. In the meantime, tell yourself that you will meet someone else when the time is right, and when you do you'll be grateful that this breakup happened because it led you to someone more suited to you. Look after yourself, be with your family, find a job you like, actively process the grief, and things will start to get better in time. Good luck to you. 3
RogerWallace111 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Props on quitting the job you didn't fancy, for acknowledging you weren't ready to date again, and keeping at the no contact. I'm not sure why you waited six months to get rid of her stuff , i got that **** out asap haaa... If she hasn't contacted you to claim it for this long, I say give it to charity or throw it away. Anything you feel you really must return to her, leave on her doorstep when she's not around. If you can write about it in the manner you are, yes, you're definitely starting to get over it, and yes, you will be getting into good new **** before long. The sorrowful emotions will become indifference. Go spend xmas with your fam ! Drink beer, have some meaningless sex ! 1
Author sadpanda87 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 thanks guys... im actually quite amazed how supportive and helpful the community is. i was first here when i broke up with my highschool sweetheart maybe... gosh, 7 years ago? im really glad this is a place for me to unwind and get some positive input ! really appreciate it 1
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