Commonman Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 (edited) Well I've been dating this girl for a year. We've had an awesome relationship. No real fights, no trust issues, I work my ass off for her and she appreciates.. we go on trips and have fun.. I give her space and freedom as well... Out of no where she started crying saying she feels guilt because i put my whole heart into the relatiosnhip but she doesn't know if she has the same feelings for me anymore. At first I was very upset.. I know its not her seeing another guy, i've been through that and this doesn't have those tell tale signs. So i told her that she doesn't have to feel guilty, i wont resent her if she wants to break up. I said I can give her space whatever she wants.. I told her ill be supportive.. No use in dragging it out and us both being miserable.. Kept my emotions in check avoided to much crying or begging or trying reason.. She wouldn't take any of the outs i gave her... We still laugh and have a good time, but I can sense her not "having the same feelings" I do care for her very much, we're both 23.. We are very compatible and have talked a lot about our future and getting married. She is VERY stressed right now about student loans and her job not paying well.. I'm very secure, have a good job, very stable, and very supportive of her. When she with me she's very flirty and her self like.. I really want this to work out for the long term.. She has all the symptoms og GIGS to the T.. but she won't call it off and doesn't want me to back away or do anything differently... What do I do??? I dont want to lose this one.. Thanks... Edited December 18, 2012 by Commonman
CptSaveAho Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Breakup with her and let her go... Contrary to peoples' emotions with dealing with people in GIGS... you can't stop it and they can't stop it... it has to run its course and you don't want to be around when it does 1
NavyAirTraffic Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 What you're really saying... "It's ok with me if you love me less than I love you. It's ok if you give less to this relationship than I do."
Samilia Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Well I've been dating this girl for a year. We've had an awesome relationship. No real fights, no trust issues, I work my ass off for her and she appreciates.. we go on trips and have fun.. I give her space and freedom as well... Out of no where she started crying saying she feels guilt because i put my whole heart into the relatiosnhip but she doesn't know if she has the same feelings for me anymore. At first I was very upset.. I know its not her seeing another guy, i've been through that and this doesn't have those tell tale signs. So i told her that she doesn't have to feel guilty, i wont resent her if she wants to break up. I said I can give her space whatever she wants.. I told her ill be supportive.. No use in dragging it out and us both being miserable.. Kept my emotions in check avoided to much crying or begging or trying reason.. She wouldn't take any of the outs i gave her... We still laugh and have a good time, but I can sense her not "having the same feelings" I do care for her very much, we're both 23.. We are very compatible and have talked a lot about our future and getting married. She is VERY stressed right now about student loans and her job not paying well.. I'm very secure, have a good job, very stable, and very supportive of her. When she with me she's very flirty and her self like.. I really want this to work out for the long term.. She has all the symptoms og GIGS to the T.. but she won't call it off and doesn't want me to back away or do anything differently... What do I do??? I dont want to lose this one.. Thanks... I have seen a lot of post claiming GIG as a reason for the separation, because the poster is such a great guy, or a great girl, offering so much, doing so much, loving so much, etc.. when the truth is, it's just another break up. What I would do is call it off, because either way you're not helping the relationship by becoming a friend. When she makes up her mind, you two will be able to talk.
GraceisGone Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 From now on, anytime a girl tells me she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore, I am going to run far, far away. Hanging around is a recipe for disaster. My ex said this to me, then we went NC for like 2 months, then she proceeded to come back into my life, claiming she didn't know what she wanted. I should have never let this happen, I should have ignored her. I thought it was taking us on a road to getting back together, when in reality, it was helping her to move on, and set me back even farther than I was before the breakup. I really do believe I was very special to her, but the hardest thing to accept now is that she doesn't give two s**** about me. She says she still cares about me, but she wouldn't have put me through what she did if that were the case. The best advice I can give you is to leave it alone and move on. It is much harder for me to do that now, because I have suffered a major setback. Maybe someday down the line, when you have both moved on, she will contact you and you can decide how you feel, but right now, emotions are too high for anything to be worked out. As hard as it is, you have to work on moving on.
Author Commonman Posted December 19, 2012 Author Posted December 19, 2012 At first I thought the exact same thing.. because honestly I have been through this before... Thats why I had a serious talk with her basically saying if you're not in this 100% lets move on.. You need to figure yourself out and get your **** together, and I'm ok with that.. Whats making this so hard, is I'm having my doubts about doing that because I don't want to force her to make a decision when shes not ready to. I don't want to give her an ultimatum and stress her out.. I care about and respect how hard this is for her too.. So i'm torn. Could her stress level and anxiety with her financial situation be causing her emotions?? I know it sounds like I'm in denial.. Trust me, I know.. Either way.. the fact that the holidays are coming up ads to the complication.. she wants to see my family and got me and everyone gifts etc.. I guess ill get through the holidays and let things settle down and re-evaluate.
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