Pharmboy Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Dated a girl for 2 years. Then we broke up for 2 months because we argued too much. While we were broken up, she started seeing this guy. Then, he took her out with him to buy drugs and all of a sudden, she wanted to escape the guy. She comes running back to me. Of course, I took her back and didn't know the real deal till a few days later. By then, I was so wrapped up in being back together that I just let it go. Now she just broke it off with me and wants to go back to him. She tells me that she broke it off with him too quick and has unresolved feelings she needs to deal with. Of course, me being who I am, tell her that she needs to go do what she has to do. In a way, supporting it. When we got back together, we never argued etc. It wasn't like a honeymoon period, it's like we both just grew up a bit. Now, she seems to be on the fence about this thing and I don't know what to do. Here's the difference: He does drugs (but swears to quit), He's 32, lives with his parents, never has any money and just got into Consumer Credit Counseling. He makes about 1/3 of what I make and could NEVER give her a home or a life. He borrows money off my "ex" and never repays it. My ex is a single mother barely making ends meet. He's just a loser to the extreme. Me: 40, make a great living, buying a house in her kids school district, she would get to stay home and be a Mom to her kids and mine, she'll never have to work, we go to cool places and really do have a lot of fun together. She swears up and down that she loves me but says she has strong feelings for this other guy and has to resolve them one way or the other. I have remained extremly calm and compassionate during this period of confusion; but, DAMN I just don't get it??? WTF???
BlueEyes248 Posted August 14, 2004 Posted August 14, 2004 Hey. Yeah honestly I don't either. It just doesn't make sense to me that she would be with such a loser. It's just such a bad idea to get involved with someone who lives at home at 32 and mooches off of his parents. On top of all of that he does drugs! Bringing your kids around a guy like that is actually pretty dangerous when you think about it. I'm sorry that she had to put you through all of that because you sound like a great guy who would be willing to take care of her and her kids comfortably. I have no way of explaining what she is thinking because there is absolutely no reasoning to it. It was good that you're supportive of her, but you can only take so much also. You deserve better then someone who can't see what's right in front of her. I think you need to tell her that you love her and that you're willing to give her a great life, but unless she gets everything straightened out fast and dumps this loser then it's over. Maybe then she'll wake up and realize what a mistake she's making. And if she doesn't...wow. There are so many other women in the world who would DIE if they met someone who was willing to take care of them in that way. So don't think that she's the only woman out there either. Good luck with everything!
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