Thank you loveshackers!!

[mutant]

Hello all? I have to give credit to you all for helping me initiate and stick to NC after my 4 year relationship with "the one" came to an end recently. It feels amazing that I have taken approximately 10 days to get over my ex.

 

Here's my background:

 

I have hanged on to an emotionally abusive relationship for the last four years before my ex decided it was time to move on to the "next guy". We were both virgins when we met and had good moments in the initial stages of our relationship. She first dumped me two years into the relationship but I successfully convinced her to give me a second chance. Well, things never worked out and seven months ago she dumped me. however, I managed to stay in contact daily even after our BU and helped her through difficult situations. She started distancing herself about a month ago after stringing me on for 6 months. She later on said she had found someone else and I should try and move-on too. I had been depressed for most of the 4-year relationship to a point where I developed ED and lost my appetite (we are both 26). However, that pain cannot compare to what I felt when she said "I might have not mentioned it, but I found someone else who I am willing to give a chance"

 

Since then, I have been searching online for answers and found this glorious site. I am glad I don't have to listen to demeaning statements like "I get more money from other men than I get from you". I know I have made mistakes in that relationship but that is the past and I hope to be a better person in future relationships.

 

I want to thank the following posters whose threads and blunt posts on other threads (not directed to me) made me see the light.

 

1. Oracle; For that amazing thread on "Realistic tips for surviving the end of your relationship"

 

2. No Fooling; For that thread "No Contact (NC). Guide for the long walk. Consolidated discussion"

 

Fantastic Quotes

 

1. Capital P; "She is ****ing other people. She doesn't deserve to be pampered and "understood"

I'm sorry, but she wants dick, she is out there trying to get as much dick as possible. And the only reason she will ever want your dick again is if the dick she is currently getting gets boring"

 

"Once the attraction is gone the only way you can keep a shred of it is by being a man and giving them nothing. No emotion, no contact , nothing.

So you need to man up, now."

 

2. China townD; "Look, you have to look at your relationship as a job. She fired you from that job. She told you that your services as a boyfriend are no longer required. Now, if you ever left a job, are you still sending everyone there Christmas cards every year?"

 

I have come here severally to read these and other similar statements (some of which are 7 years old) to keep me going and maintain NC. I don't think my ex will try contacting me any time soon maybe after an year or two but I am not waiting for her... I enrolled for a masters program today and I have a two dates awaiting me this coming week. I have my dark days but I know what I want and it doesn't involve meeting or contacting my ex. In fact, I will never Talk to or Text my ex in my lifetime unless it is something VERY important.

 

For the rest of you who are still hurting I hope you will see the light. Keep positive and work towards making your life better and more interesting because apparently sh*t gets better.

 

Thank you all.

Edited December 18, 2012 by mutant

[cavalier99]

Only 10 days to recover? I want what you've been smoking!

[NavyAirTraffic]

She first dumped me two years into the relationship but I successfully convinced her to give me a second chance. Well, things never worked out and seven months ago she dumped me.

 

I'm glad you mentioned this. People need to understand that convince your ex back is unhealthy. Just imagine how far along you would've been if you decided to move on as soon as she left you... I know, hindsight is a b*tch!

 

Great that you've decided to take a stand. As TaraMaiden's signature says "closure comes from within". Welcome to the light, you can only see it when YOU decide you've had enough, take a stand, and realize that giving your heart/hurting for someone who doesn't care anymore is a waste of time (even for 1 second after they break up with you). Unfortunately (like you) most people spend weeks/months before deciding to let go and move on.

 

Again congrats! Taking a stand and wanting to let go and move on are two huge steps in the right direction.