MrHX Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 History: My Ex and I were together for close to five years. Our relationship started off long distance until a year ago when I moved closer to her. The decision to move wasn't a move to be closer to her, but it's just happened. After the move, we started seeing each other more often. What led to the break up: My ex was on my computer and saw something which made her believe I had started cheating on her. Rightfully so, she confronted me about it. We talked it out and I re-assured her I had not cheated on her. For the next five months, this started to consume her, when she finally had enough of the thoughts of me potentially cheating on her. Two weeks before the break up, she finally had enough and confronted me about the issue. She said she couldn't do it over the phone and wanted to see me. I spent the next two weeks analyzing our relationship, myself, and everything under the sun. The Break up: Two weeks later, She came over to my apartment to deliver her decision. The main reason she stated was because of the incident five months ago. It had made her feel unatractive and hurt. This broke my heart. She told me she still loved me but she couldn't stand being angry with me every time she thought about it. We were interrupted, hugged each other, then went our separate ways. After the Break up: With unanswered questions in my mind, I reached out and asked her if we could speak. I wanted to pour my heart out, but stepped back and allowed her to speak. She had written a letter to me describing issues she's had with our relationship for close to a year. I digested the information and she asked me for my answers to the questions she had. I answered them truthfully even though they hurt. It felt we found peace with each other, though I had felt that this was it. We are in a tightly knit community, and it is inevitable that I would see her from time to time. We have had brief, ackward conversations and times of averting our eyes from each other. I guess this had bothered her enough, she decided to reach out in a text message asking me if she should back off. I told her that I'm ok, but it's just a matter of getting used to not seeing her in the way I did. This sent her off, and she poured her heart out. Of course, this sent my heart racing with hopes of getting back together. I waited then responded by saying the only thing I want for her is to be happy, whatever it takes for her to be happy. I am at a loss at this point in time. I really do not know what to do. We both need our time to heal, evaluate the old relationship, and make a decision to either move on or start over. I am in love with her, I just do not know what the best course of action is. I know the old relationship is over and I need to concentrate on myself and heal. But, I cannot escape the feelings I have for her and find myself trying to make contact with her. I have broken no contact so many times, not to proclaim my love to her, but simply to just respond to her. She makes her presence known via social media, which makes me want to reach out and just talk to her. It's tough when you've been with a person for so long and you have to see them almost every day of the week. The wounds are still there, but I do want her back. I just don't know what to do at this point.
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