irc333 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 I'm not referring necessarily being "stuck on yourself" in an arrogant fashion, but I'm noticing a trend where people date, but where one person is only making the real effort. I hear this a lot when break-ups occurs. I had met a few women, even though they gave me their #, had gone out with me, but didn't really make an effort to be engaging in conversation, and turns out they admitted it was just how their personality is. You're spending time trying to get information from them, but they don't really seem to have any interest in your hobbies, interests, or beliefs. Sure, they may throw in a courtesy question, but they seem to take for granted the relationship even initially. Anyone experience this? It's like they've gotten lazy, and their "get up and go" isn't there.
SmileFace Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 No... they are just aren't interested enough. For the right person they will be writing 4 page love letters. If you are saying this is a personality trait - that means this is something people should accept which isn't the case at all.
plainjane79 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 I'm not referring necessarily being "stuck on yourself" in an arrogant fashion, but I'm noticing a trend where people date, but where one person is only making the real effort. I hear this a lot when break-ups occurs. I had met a few women, even though they gave me their #, had gone out with me, but didn't really make an effort to be engaging in conversation, and turns out they admitted it was just how their personality is. You're spending time trying to get information from them, but they don't really seem to have any interest in your hobbies, interests, or beliefs. Sure, they may throw in a courtesy question, but they seem to take for granted the relationship even initially. Anyone experience this? It's like they've gotten lazy, and their "get up and go" isn't there. I think it may just be a lack of compatibility. The last guy I dated lived in the suburbs, was into the outdoors, and fixed planes/flew planes for a living. I live in the city, enjoy museums, restaurants, and movies, and I'm a lawyer. I really really liked his personality (sense of humor and the way we interacted) but had a really hard time conversing with him about his job and hobbies because I just didn't know enough about them and didn't even really know where to start. I remember he once spent five minutes describing a particular jet engine to me and then got insulted when I couldn't repeat back to him what he had said because I had zoned out somewhere in the middle. But man, did I like him! I really wish I could have been genuinely interested but it's just not my thing.
FitChick Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 I dated someone who was self-employed and totally focused on making money. He was still fighting his ex in court and it took a lot out of him emotionally and financially. I did not want to get caught up in that drama. Someone like that should only have one night stands until their life settles down, in my opinion.
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