How Heartless a Woman can Be

[PlacetoRant]

Hi, This is a little bit detailed but I really do need your thoughts on things.

Ok I was new to a dating site, not to brag or nothing like that; I really don't have a problem with meeting women in person but a buddy of mine was getting so much girls from off there so I just decided to try it out for a bit.

In like the first 4 days, I met two women off the site and things seemed to be going on well because we had a mutual understanding which was just sex. Then on like the sixth day, I got a message from an older girl (I'm 21, she was 26); then we got talking for a week or so, she was really pretty and damn her body was amazing. Anyway, on like the Friday of that week, I asked her for her number and we got texting. Being a Friday night with me liqoured up and at the bar, I said some things about having sex with her that I wouldn't say if I was sober and I guess she took that for confidence and she agreed surprisingly, even told me she doesn't like some things in the bedroom which I was fine with. Anyway, she texts me in the morning asking me if we were still on as planned and if people were going to be at my place and also if this was going to be a "one time thing" in her words, well I replied and told her we will talk about it when we see. She came through in the afternoon.

When we got to the room, we didn't have any form of small talk or whatnot, she just took off her clothes and started kissing me. So many things were going through my mind like; was she married, hope she doesn't have any diseases, she's older than me, what's her deal as in why would a woman so ****ing beautiful (pardon my French) decide to have a fling with a guy quite younger than she is, do I have enough experience to handle her lol. All this were going through my mind so I didn't get hard (worst form of embarrassment) ; she was so caring and understanding, told me to relax; she even made up an excuse that maybe I had too much to drink the night before and I just went with that. She asked if I wanted to cuddle and talk for a bit which we did, she told me so many things about herself though I didn't reveal much, she told me how many guys she had been with blah blah blah, we really connected, she made me feel special and I really thought me and this woman could actually end up together so when she asked if this was a 'one time' thing or would I like to see her again of course I shouted I'd like to see her again. With my mind at rest, when we tried going at it again I was able to get hard because I was no longer having performance anxiety. We got down to business and I did a really stupid thing, I did it without a condom and I released in her. After all this, we went back to cuddling, talked for about 3 hours or so before she had to leave. She asked me once more if I wanted to see her again and with no hesitation in my voice, I said yes and SHE even kissed me goodbye and made a reference not to text me everyday which we laughed about (I was texting some other girl I hooked up with off the dating site when this woman was with me and I told her how the girl texting me does so every minute of the day which was really annoying). Anyway, I waited patiently till the Tuesday of the coming week, texted her but she didn't reply then I noticed she deleted her profile off the dating. I was really scared because I had sex with a total stranger without a condom and now she falls off the grid, I was panicking and this affected me so bad (you know you hear stories of people who go about intentionally spreading stuff). Well some weeks later, she creates a new profile and surprisingly views my profile that was hidden (that means she has a link to my profile, which means she probably thinks about me right?) then I decide to text her which she replies to this time around; I told her we should see each other again and at first she was like sure if I play my cards right then all of a sudden she witched it up on me that we should leave it as a one time thing and I was "definitely what she needed" and as a guy, if any girl tells you this trust me she doesn't mean it in any way!!! This rejection just made me want her so much more, told her but she apologized and still rejected me. Then she deletes her profile once more and views my profile again at first I'm like no way I'm messaging this girl but the heart wants what it wants and I find myself messaging her; she tells me about her new boyfriend, she asks me if I'm still hooking up with girls of the dating site, told her I was jealous and she should be truthful about the reason she won't see me again; she brings up me texting some other girl while I was in bed with her, age difference and some other things which I don't just believe. So we keep messaging for a few days (with her starting the conversation the last couple of times), then I finally asked her to just hangout with me; no sex just a proper movie and dinner type thing as friends which she agreed to and actually sounded excited about. I told her goodnight and when I woke up the next day to check my messages on the site, I noticed she had deleted her account once more; at first I was happy because I thought she deleted because of me but its been 2 weeks and she hasn't contacted me any other way and I promised myself I wouldn't text her, I'm tired of looking like a fool no matter how much it hurts me.

Why does she act this way, does she have a mental problem?

Is she some kind of player?

Is she one of those girls that go about making people fall so deep for them without any intentions of committing; cause why would you keep asking me if it's a one time thing or not when all I wanted to be was a one time thing and when you finally convinced and manipulated me into wanting to see you again you turn around and **** me up.

Do I think I'm in love with her because she rejected me?

Is she waiting for me to text her first?

Does she have a frigging disease?!

My school work is seriously suffering, I have finals in a few hours and instead of studying I'm on here.

Oh forgot to mention she is white and I'm black, could that be another reason? Maybe she just wanted that black experience.

Anyway, my life has been in shambles since November, I can't seem to connect with someone at an emotional level any more, I keep having meaningless sex with people off the dating site and even escorts at times all in an attempt to get her off my mind but they don't seem to work. Truthfully I'm kind of scared if she agrees to see me again, I might be violent towards her. Deep down I think I just want to be the one to reject her and call things off but she beat me to it and this just drives me mad with obsession.

Do girls think guys don't have feelings and all they want is sex?

[monicaelise]

Why does she act this way, does she have a mental problem?

Is she some kind of player?

Is she one of those girls that go about making people fall so deep for them without any intentions of committing; cause why would you keep asking me if it's a one time thing or not when all I wanted to be was a one time thing and when you finally convinced and manipulated me into wanting to see you again you turn around and **** me up.

Do I think I'm in love with her because she rejected me?

Is she waiting for me to text her first?

Does she have a frigging disease?!

My school work is seriously suffering, I have finals in a few hours and instead of studying I'm on here.

Oh forgot to mention she is white and I'm black, could that be another reason? Maybe she just wanted that black experience.

Anyway, my life has been in shambles since November, I can't seem to connect with someone at an emotional level any more, I keep having meaningless sex with people off the dating site and even escorts at times all in an attempt to get her off my mind but they don't seem to work. Truthfully I'm kind of scared if she agrees to see me again, I might be violent towards her. Deep down I think I just want to be the one to reject her and call things off but she beat me to it and this just drives me mad with obsession.

Do girls think guys don't have feelings and all they want is sex?

 

All of this would seem to indicate that she is not the one with a mental problem.

 

As far as your last question goes, take a look around at some of the other threads and you may get an idea of why women might believe all men want is sex. Most of us realize that it's not true, but to listening to many of the young men (not the women!) on this forum, you'd think it was the only thing men ever wanted. You can't really fault a girl for believing the b.s. that men spew. She's just playing by your rules after all.

 

Whatever the case, you're the one now "having meaningless sex with people off the dating site and even escorts at times". You are doing exactly what you think has been done to you. Should the women you're currently do this with "get violent with you"?

 

Looks like the player got played.

[todreaminblue]

Women can be as heartless and calculating as men can...its a known fact women can be meaner than men towards other women........I dont know what happened or why she played around with you could be a number of reasons.....

 

 

 

you just have to move on..get checked for stds asap ....condoms....condoms condoms....

 

 

 

 

Falling for someone is always a risk and sometimes it works out and sometimes it just doesnt, however much you want it too.......if it isnt going to happen tomorrow or the next day or a year later it still wont happen for you any way you look at it or hope and pray for it to happen the time you waste in just your own not hers she is out there going to teh movies havingn fun and you are at home worried about her...the relationship turnd sexual ....it wasa one off from what i read.........so

 

 

dont waste any more time....thinking about revenge breakup scenarios be the better person and reach for someone who can love you back..theres someone right for you out there......and you will hav eto take another risk gettign to knwo soemone else....... giving her what for by breaking up with her, honestly if she is a player she wont care..if she is confused she will still eb confused if she didnt love you she never will.....loving someone or having feelings for soemoen who doesn tcare about you is pointless and with that statement i should really have as a mantra for my own life...im out....best wishes....deb

[movingon12]

All of this would seem to indicate that she is not the one with a mental problem.

 

As far as your last question goes, take a look around at some of the other threads and you may get an idea of why women might believe all men want is sex. Most of us realize that it's not true, but to listening to many of the young men (not the women!) on this forum, you'd think it was the only thing men ever wanted. You can't really fault a girl for believing the b.s. that men spew. She's just playing by your rules after all.

 

Whatever the case, you're the one now "having meaningless sex with people off the dating site and even escorts at times". You are doing exactly what you think has been done to you. Should the women you're currently do this with "get violent with you"?

 

Looks like the player got played.

 

This. Absolutely.

[naviis]

All of this would seem to indicate that she is not the one with a mental problem.

 

As far as your last question goes, take a look around at some of the other threads and you may get an idea of why women might believe all men want is sex. Most of us realize that it's not true, but to listening to many of the young men (not the women!) on this forum, you'd think it was the only thing men ever wanted. You can't really fault a girl for believing the b.s. that men spew. She's just playing by your rules after all.

 

Whatever the case, you're the one now "having meaningless sex with people off the dating site and even escorts at times". You are doing exactly what you think has been done to you. Should the women you're currently do this with "get violent with you"?

 

Looks like the player got played.

 

I agree 100%

 

And dude -- texting a girl while in bed with another? You would never see me again!

 

You are putting way too much emotion on a one time sexual encounter with a perfect stranger. I'd be willing to bet you have some other issues and this whole thing just made them surface.

[AMusing]

Wait, let me get this straight. You tell this girl you only want a casual sexual relationship with this her, potentially only a one-night thing, and she agrees that's what she wants too. Then, while you were still in bed with her, you text another casual sex partner. And to make it worse, you say unflattering things about the girl texting you (if she's so annoying, why are you sleeping with her?). And then you're surprised she's not interested in continuing anything with you? Give me a break. Even for the most casual of encounters, a woman wants to feel like she has your whole attention while she's naked in your bed.

 

I'm all for (safe) casual sex, if that's what someone wants, but this is gross. Get yourself tested and next time (and every time after that) wear a damn condom.

[carhill]

There really isn't any 'heart' in casual sex, IMO, so everyone pretty much follows their base natures, whatever those are. People in general can be and are 'heartless'. 'How' is a matter of time, place and circumstance. It varies. Women don't have a lock on it by any means. Good luck and be safe.