unclejo23 Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 I've posted a few responses to others that I can relate to... but never started a thread... not going to get into past details... as of now I'm trying to start No Contact... Been hard because of all the finance accounts and personal property we've had to straighten out... I am almost in the clear with all that crap... My question is... would break up sex be a good or bad idea... if it happens BEFORE the no contact rule is followed? I am thinking BAD IDEA... just wondering if anyone out there HAS done it... and what the outcome was for you? quick run down of specifics... Engaged... she got cold feet... then wasnt sure if she was happy... said she was messed up in the head... when she wanted to start fresh... like we just met... I told her that would be impossible for me right now, I feel it would be unfair for me to continue offering my life to someone who isnt sure if she wants the same(keep in mind we cohabitated for 2 years as a couple...6 more months engaged) We decided that one of us should move out(house on my families farm, obviously she moved to sisters)... we are doing exactly what we agreed to years ago, if either one of us lost the "spark"... She moved out almost 3 weeks ago...there's more details but thats not really what I posted this for... I know I have a long road to take... and am dealing with things ok i guess. Just trying to prepare myself for anything? Hope for the best... prepare for the worst...
tigeress Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Bad idea! After my divorce, I didn't think having sex with him would be a big deal. But...what happened is that it just prolonged the emotional break up. You have to have a complete seperation to allow yourself to put your feelings into perspective. Having sex just confuses things more and it takes longer to let go. Good luck!
Author unclejo23 Posted August 13, 2004 Author Posted August 13, 2004 I think I knew the answer to that one... Guess I just needed to hear someone else say it? THanks!!!
honey2005 Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 I think it would be a really bad idea, too. If you're going to start no contact, just start it, sex would make it harder to let go.
dugs Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 My story goes like this... The day my ex broke up with me she called me...told me things didn't feel the same...didn't know of I was right for her...came over to my place to talk...proceeded to initiate sex with me...afterwards she was all smiles and giggles like everyhting was okay...five mintes later I asked her about how she feels and she starts to cry...leaves my place 20 minutes later...her a single women and me a single man more confused than ever. I don't understand why people would want have sex with someone that they are about to dump...that you claim you have no more feelings for and don't want this person in your life anymore. I don't know about the rest of you here but whenever I was a dumper it was because I knew without a doubt in my mind that I absolutly could not stand the person anymore and did not want anything to do with the person at all. No doubt in my mind at all. I didn't even want to try and be friends what so ever...I guess this is a topic for another thread though.
red-kal Posted August 18, 2004 Posted August 18, 2004 NEVER NEVER NEVER... BREAK UP SEX IS WRONG UNLESS BOTH PARTIES ARE 100% SURE THEY WANT TO MENTALITY OF A HEARTBREAKER WHOM INITIATES -S/HE HAS NOW FOREVER OR FOR AT LEAST THE TIME BEING LOST THIS PRIVELIGE, IT IT MAY NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN, AND IS THEREFORE DANGEROUS AND EXCITING. In consideration to the heartbroken it should not be done initiated or recieved. My ex broke up with me then wanted to fool around... i loved her... these words only hurt me because sex with her at this point was love... men have feelings too, maybe not on in the media but in the real world, they do. heartbroken's will only initiate if really "heartbroken" to try to win their exs back... it's a trap let's hope no one falls into it, luckily i didn't. again if no one is feeling a sense of loss then why the hell not, if someone is hurting, like i once was, they should not be hurt (by ex) or hurt themselves any further.
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