Is it easier for a guy to move on?

[jezzy]

I've been thinking a lot of things. We broke up for almost a month now and I completely think that he is happy without me. Well, he told me that he is happy now and wants to be single for now.

 

Im thinking if a guy really values an almost 2year relationship. I felt like he doesnt care for me after all. Is it easy for him to break up and move on? Cause it's kinda hard for me to accept the fact that we broke up.

 

Is it easier for him to let things go?

[oracle]

If he ended it.. he wanted out.. so yes.. its easier for him to let go. Its got nothing to do with the fact that he is a guy and has a p*nis. People stay cause its comfortable and suits them. Once that changes.. (bored, someone new, think they can do better, etc.) then its done.. after 2 years, 14 years, 25 years, 40 years. I've seen it all.

 

I've been thinking a lot of things. We broke up for almost a month now and I completely think that he is happy without me. Well, he told me that he is happy now and wants to be single for now.

 

Im thinking if a guy really values an almost 2year relationship. I felt like he doesnt care for me after all. Is it easy for him to break up and move on? Cause it's kinda hard for me to accept the fact that we broke up.

 

Is it easier for him to let things go?

[movingon12]

Obviously it depends on the guy, but I think guys are generally better at putting forward the image of having moved on because it's less socially acceptable for a guy to be crying to his friends over a tub of chocolate ice-cream 4 weeks after he broke up. He'll be told 'plenty more fish' and expected to just get on with things. With women, there's more of an expectation that she'll be upset and need time to grieve.

 

I think as a result of this, many guys have a tendency to leap into rebound relationships straight away. (I remember back in the days when I was stalking my ex, I logged onto his fb to find out what was going on his head, to discover he'd been emailing his friend to boast about all the girls he'd met OLD and how great everything was, and how happy he was in his new life. Needless to say, it didn't last and all came crashing down eventually).

 

So although it sometimes looks as though guys have moved on faster, it doesn't mean they actually have.

[jezzy]

Obviously it depends on the guy, but I think guys are generally better at putting forward the image of having moved on because it's less socially acceptable for a guy to be crying to his friends over a tub of chocolate ice-cream 4 weeks after he broke up. He'll be told 'plenty more fish' and expected to just get on with things. With women, there's more of an expectation that she'll be upset and need time to grieve.

 

I think as a result of this, many guys have a tendency to leap into rebound relationships straight away. (I remember back in the days when I was stalking my ex, I logged onto his fb to find out what was going on his head, to discover he'd been emailing his friend to boast about all the girls he'd met OLD and how great everything was, and how happy he was in his new life. Needless to say, it didn't last and all came crashing down eventually).

 

So although it sometimes looks as though guys have moved on faster, it doesn't mean they actually have.

 

Thank you. I already blocked him on facebook but thinking if I did the right thing? *sigh* I just dont wanna see him with someone else or being happy without me.

[itsmyfault]

I've read somewhere that guys generally move on slower.

 

I fell Guys have to work harder to attract the Girl they want, Girls really hold most of the cards. I would say Girls find it easier to find someone else after a break up.

[movingon12]

It was the right thing to do. Definitely.

 

It does get easier.

[jezzy]

It was the right thing to do. Definitely.

 

It does get easier.

 

Thanks! I just dont wanna stalk him and feel hurt. I should think of myself first. Thank you.

[Bumaga vsyo sterpit]

It's definitely harder for guys to move on. Obviously not when they're the dumpers, but they tend to be the dumpees (70 per cent of breakups are initiated by women). Guys fed a steady stream of relationship sex might think a breakup will mean all the freedom to hop from bed to bed, completely forgetting how hard it was to get laid when they were single, while most women have a lot more "demand" and options when it comes to dating. I know even average-looking girls who were getting more guys than they could handle after a breakup. New relationships vs. loneliness and depression of course make it easier to forget the ex. On top of that, women usually have bigger, stronger support systems (their family and girlfriends) to express and vent their feelings to and get advice. Guys have that on a lower scale. That's why going too far in trying to get an ex back can send a whole army against a guy.

[Mr Reptile]

Obviously it depends on the guy, but I think guys are generally better at putting forward the image of having moved on because it's less socially acceptable for a guy to be crying to his friends over a tub of chocolate ice-cream 4 weeks after he broke up. He'll be told 'plenty more fish' and expected to just get on with things. With women, there's more of an expectation that she'll be upset and need time to grieve.

 

I think as a result of this, many guys have a tendency to leap into rebound relationships straight away. (I remember back in the days when I was stalking my ex, I logged onto his fb to find out what was going on his head, to discover he'd been emailing his friend to boast about all the girls he'd met OLD and how great everything was, and how happy he was in his new life. Needless to say, it didn't last and all came crashing down eventually).

 

So although it sometimes looks as though guys have moved on faster, it doesn't mean they actually have.

 

I'm sorry but this is totally wrong... This is what girls do.

 

I see this everywhere and the majority are girls who jump right in to a rebound, not guys.

But that it crashes you are right about, almost everytime. (for those I've seen atleast)

[Suziee]

My ex seemed very eager to move on quickly.

 

We had a big argument and broke up on the phone after he lost his temper. The next day he emails me that he'll be dating other women. This was a guy who claimed to be so in love with me and often proclaimed how he thought that I was too good for him and that he didn't deserve me. Within a couple of days, he was on a dating site and since then, I've noticed (I know, I shouldn't look) him revising his profile several times a week. Meanwhile, three weeks after the BU, I'm still making sense of what happened, trying my darnest to forget him, and resolving not to date until I'm well and ready.

[carhill]

IMO, it's individual; each of us is different psychologically. However, it is possible that a person who initiates a breakup/divorce has gone through the disconnection and grief process in part or in total prior to the 'official announcement' so provide the appearance of having moved on more quickly, when in fact some of that process occurred while they were still ostensibly in the relationship/marriage.

 

Best wishes in your healing.

[flitzanu]

I've been thinking a lot of things. We broke up for almost a month now and I completely think that he is happy without me. Well, he told me that he is happy now and wants to be single for now.

 

Im thinking if a guy really values an almost 2year relationship. I felt like he doesnt care for me after all. Is it easy for him to break up and move on? Cause it's kinda hard for me to accept the fact that we broke up.

 

Is it easier for him to let things go?

 

no, doesn't matter being male or female. the person that dumped you had lost interest long before that day and already had moved on.

[Chi townD]

I agree with Flitz. Doesn't matter when I guy or girl does the dumping. They've already checked out of the relationship. They just never pulled the trigger until THEY were ready to do so.

 

But, in my opinion, for the dumpee's, I think girls have an easier time getting over the break up than guys do because they have a better support group. Girl's get dumped and their girlfriends rally around them for support. Guy's don't generally have that. That's why here you see a lot of guys posting about getting dumped or cheated on here more than the girls because we really don't have anywhere to go to talk openly about accept places like this.

[nsteen87]

I agree with Flitz. Doesn't matter when I guy or girl does the dumping. They've already checked out of the relationship. They just never pulled the trigger until THEY were ready to do so.

 

But, in my opinion, for the dumpee's, I think girls have an easier time getting over the break up than guys do because they have a better support group. Girl's get dumped and their girlfriends rally around them for support. Guy's don't generally have that. That's why here you see a lot of guys posting about getting dumped or cheated on here more than the girls because we really don't have anywhere to go to talk openly about accept places like this.

 

You hit the nail right on the head here. If you met me on the street or at a bar, you would never guess in a million years that I feel the way I do right now but even the most confident of men can be broken.

[Bumaga vsyo sterpit]

My ex seemed very eager to move on quickly.

 

We had a big argument and broke up on the phone after he lost his temper. The next day he emails me that he'll be dating other women. This was a guy who claimed to be so in love with me and often proclaimed how he thought that I was too good for him and that he didn't deserve me. Within a couple of days, he was on a dating site and since then, I've noticed (I know, I shouldn't look) him revising his profile several times a week. Meanwhile, three weeks after the BU, I'm still making sense of what happened, trying my darnest to forget him, and resolving not to date until I'm well and ready.

 

Yes but has he actually found someone yet? Meanwhile you'd be getting quite a bit of attention from men if you went around them... Case in point.

[LostOne1]

I've been thinking a lot of things. We broke up for almost a month now and I completely think that he is happy without me. Well, he told me that he is happy now and wants to be single for now.

 

Im thinking if a guy really values an almost 2year relationship. I felt like he doesnt care for me after all. Is it easy for him to break up and move on? Cause it's kinda hard for me to accept the fact that we broke up.

 

Is it easier for him to let things go?

That's what my ex told me too.. that she wanted to BU. Then a month later I reached out (bad move) and she said she was happier without me. And that things are so much better till she hears from me, and then she feels frustrated and miserable.

 

It hurt A LOT to hear that from her. I mean she always LOVED hearing from me. In fact if she didn't hear lots from me each day she would take it as I didn't love her or she would get mad.

 

So I know how you see things and feel about them. It sucks to see them become crazy about you and then the next day they say they feel nothing.

 

I don't know if my ex is really happier without me, or just saying that to hurt me. No idea, all I know is that she probably does have some feelings. But I think she is going to do what she did in her last relationship. That is put me out of her life totally and with time she will move on. I guess just like I am not contacting her now and have gone NC to get over her. And I know she said her last relationship it took her A LONG time to get over it. Makes me wonder if it will take even longer for her to get over me. I mean she has never spent a vacation, 3 yrs, introducing family etc.. to another guy before. So letting that go must be tough... and I'm sure her ego is pushing her to go down this route.

[Suziee]

Yes but has he actually found someone yet? Meanwhile you'd be getting quite a bit of attention from men if you went around them... Case in point.

 

Are you trying to make me feel better? If so, or even inadvertently, then thanks.

 

The OP, though, was asking about the ability to move on. I have no doubt that my ex is doing his best to woo women online and that really makes me wonder how sincere he was with his supposed feelings for me. Right now, I can't even imagine going out with another guy. My feelings are still raw. I'll give myself a few months, perhaps.

[LostOne1]

Are you trying to make me feel better? If so, or even inadvertently, then thanks.

 

The OP, though, was asking about the ability to move on. I have no doubt that my ex is doing his best to woo women online and that really makes me wonder how sincere he was with his supposed feelings for me. Right now, I can't even imagine going out with another guy. My feelings are still raw. I'll give myself a few months, perhaps.

but are any dumpers sincere? I assume most have moved on and are ready to date?

 

I don't know if my ex is dating or not. Don't know if I care much at this point. But she seemed to have moved on fast or put on a show to make it seem that way.

[mutant]

Are you trying to make me feel better? If so, or even inadvertently, then thanks.

 

The OP, though, was asking about the ability to move on. I have no doubt that my ex is doing his best to woo women online and that really makes me wonder how sincere he was with his supposed feelings for me. Right now, I can't even imagine going out with another guy. My feelings are still raw. I'll give myself a few months, perhaps.

You do not need to know what your ex is currently up to or wonder "how sincere his love for you was". He thought his life would be better without you in it and that's just it. You need to move on by making your life more interesting. This does not mean that you must jump into a relationship with other guys. What it means is that you can revise your priorities, set up new goals, go out more often and perhaps take up new responsibilities. This is not easy, whenever you feel down you can come here and share your feelings with us.

[Suziee]

but are any dumpers sincere? I assume most have moved on and are ready to date?

 

I don't know if my ex is dating or not. Don't know if I care much at this point. But she seemed to have moved on fast or put on a show to make it seem that way.

 

There's no clearcut dumper in my case. We were having a heated argument, he lost his temper, I was outraged, and that was it. Maybe it's mutual dumping; he might even consider me the dumper for not putting up with his behavior.

 

You do not need to know what your ex is currently up to or wonder "how sincere his love for you was". He thought his life would be better without you in it and that's just it. You need to move on by making your life more interesting. This does not mean that you must jump into a relationship with other guys. What it means is that you can revise your priorities, set up new goals, go out more often and perhaps take up new responsibilities. This is not easy, whenever you feel down you can come here and share your feelings with us.

 

Thanks for your comment. I know I shouldn't waste any time thinking of him but it's part of the "grieving process" I go through after a break-up. It can be catharic. I'm not that devastated. I was happy before I met him and I'll continue to be, but I can't help it if my heart aches for a while. I'm may be a bit jaded, but not completely. And no, I have no intention of dating on the rebound.

[jezzy]

That's what my ex told me too.. that she wanted to BU. Then a month later I reached out (bad move) and she said she was happier without me. And that things are so much better till she hears from me, and then she feels frustrated and miserable.

 

It hurt A LOT to hear that from her. I mean she always LOVED hearing from me. In fact if she didn't hear lots from me each day she would take it as I didn't love her or she would get mad.

 

So I know how you see things and feel about them. It sucks to see them become crazy about you and then the next day they say they feel nothing.

 

I don't know if my ex is really happier without me, or just saying that to hurt me. No idea, all I know is that she probably does have some feelings. But I think she is going to do what she did in her last relationship. That is put me out of her life totally and with time she will move on. I guess just like I am not contacting her now and have gone NC to get over her. And I know she said her last relationship it took her A LONG time to get over it. Makes me wonder if it will take even longer for her to get over me. I mean she has never spent a vacation, 3 yrs, introducing family etc.. to another guy before. So letting that go must be tough... and I'm sure her ego is pushing her to go down this route.

 

Just hate how I see things now. I recently checked his facebook account and saw a girl. I guess she's better than me. I have this big trust to my ex that he wont cheat on me. But I guess, I was wrong. Maybe, thats why its easier for him to let things go cause he has this new chick around their office. How disrespectful he was.

 

Posting a girl after only 3 weeks of break up? Then the reasons that he told me wasnt true. I have big trust but I should now stop and realize that I shouldnt trust this guy. I cried all night. I cant believe it.

 

Our relationship lasted for almost 2 years and then this is what I got? I feel so miserable.

[Sugarkane]

I agree with Flitz. Doesn't matter when I guy or girl does the dumping. They've already checked out of the relationship. They just never pulled the trigger until THEY were ready to do so.

 

But, in my opinion, for the dumpee's, I think girls have an easier time getting over the break up than guys do because they have a better support group. Girl's get dumped and their girlfriends rally around them for support. Guy's don't generally have that. That's why here you see a lot of guys posting about getting dumped or cheated on here more than the girls because we really don't have anywhere to go to talk openly about accept places like this.

 

Disagree I'm female and was told "just get over it already" and "there's plenty more fish in the sea". My family weren't helpful at all. One of my co workers is male, dumpee and was engaged. Yet still moved on liked nothing happened straight away.

[Mumbles]

I reckon the ladies move on more easily, but guys have better emotional armour - which is also possibly why they move on more slowly ... it weighs them down emotionally.

 

Girls have a good cry, lean on their friends shoulder and before you know it, its rebound time

 

I'm being a bit silly with that last.

 

More seriously though. Most guys who are active in the dating scene, or have been, have to toughen up, because for males, rejection is constant. This is not to say that the loss of a long relationship won't affect them, but don't wait for the outwards signs of that ... because you probably won't see much.

[shadow15]

i been out of my relationship for almost 3 months now, im still healing, while as my ex girlfriend has already moved on dated another guy, broke up with them and im still trying to wrap my head around the fact of how someone use to depend on you so much doesnt need you at all anymore.

[Sugarkane]

I completely disagree. After coming here and rebounding, I made sure I was single for at least a year. Guys like jumping from woman to woman. I haven't met many guys who would be single for a year. I got zero empathy from people.