charlietheginger Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 So after losing weight focusing on my work Exercising i seem to attract women... The problem is these women appear needy and Clingy full of emotional drama. Its as if they See me happy doing fine on my own as As "target" someone to drag down emotionally and mentally... Like they think " he looks happy i gotta stop Him and ruin his life ". I just got done explaining to a women I'm Happy being single i stay buzy and don't Really need a girlfriend. I can tell she was Not happy. I explained she has to relize not every man Is looking for relationships... so validation of the "love yourself ideology" Works the happier healthier and not desperate Looking you are the ones that are desperate Unhappy and usually drinker smokers See you as something to cling onto..... 1
Author charlietheginger Posted December 18, 2012 Author Posted December 18, 2012 On the flipside if a guy looks lonley Outta shape and sad... Women will stay away and let You down in your own misery 1
RogerWallace111 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 awesome post :laugh: aaaah man... i know what you mean. i think the majority of women, and just people in general, are dissatisfied on some level with their own day to day life. and as some guy named ganwain once said. "we are attracted to people who express the qualities we deny or repress within ourselves." it does seem like "loving yourself" isn't necessarily the magic answer for attracting a truly suitable woman. it makes people gravitate toward you in general, but I think the weaklings are likely gonna be the first ones infatuated with you. some handsome, seemingly nice guy who appears super content with himself and is having a great time isn't often gonna be enough to attract the beautiful, super content girl who's having a great time- she's already having a great time. it can under the right circumstances, when things fall into place as such, but typically, yes, it's gonna attract whoever's around, which are likely to be typically unhappy or at least "repressed" types of people. But it's that "when the last thing on your mind is finding a girl, that's when a worthwhile one will come along" ****... The catch 22 how when you're truly confident / feelin' yourself / caught up in the moment, thus oblivious to your surroundings, you are at your most attractive. Yet, therefore, females are no longer a main fixation, so any that aren't going to actually approach you are much more likely to slip away. Because again, theyre so cool and happy with themselves that even some happy guy isn't anything they're gonna go out of their way for.
RogerWallace111 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 "i don't get all the girls i want, i just get all the girls that want me"- David Lee Roth
RogerWallace111 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 and yeah, since i didnt address the main sentiment of the thread... many women are the type to, straight up, see a happy man and attempt to f*ck it up (yep I said it !), though most times it's gonna be subconscious and be more just "getting a piece of the fun" in her eyes. note i said "many" women, and note that i acknowledge males have their own equally sh*tty issues.
todreaminblue Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 (edited) So after losing weight focusing on my work Exercising i seem to attract women... The problem is these women appear needy and Clingy full of emotional drama. Its as if they See me happy doing fine on my own as As "target" someone to drag down emotionally and mentally... Like they think " he looks happy i gotta stop Him and ruin his life ". I just got done explaining to a women I'm Happy being single i stay buzy and don't Really need a girlfriend. I can tell she was Not happy. I explained she has to relize not every man Is looking for relationships... so validation of the "love yourself ideology" Works the happier healthier and not desperate Looking you are the ones that are desperate Unhappy and usually drinker smokers See you as something to cling onto..... glass half empty hey charlie......motto charlie....the glas is half full...the glass is half full i dont cling to anyone....am i needy......yes... everyone in life needs human touch...unless you are a zombie and live on meds......been there too... am i sad.....yep....not all the time...but sometimes i actually find people cling to m e.......if that is what they need to feel human and wanted....i let them cling......and i am not at peak fitness yet have lost weight though...the same deal happened however when i was bigger.... people all people need to have that human touch in their life.....people need people charile....we werent meant to go it alone........glass half full charlie....hugs....deb Edited December 18, 2012 by todreaminblue
dasein Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 IME women are more agenda driven towards a full blown relationship process than many men are. I don't think this necessarily comes from a "drag you down" place as much as a healthy "find what I want" place where women today have trouble finding acceptable men who want more than just sex. There are plenty of women out there who are not as agenda driven, just takes some work to find them. Also, many of the agenda driven ones can be slowed down some when shown that the meet and greet and early dating parts aren't just for her agenda fitting, but also to simply have fun getting to know a new person.
ascendotum Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 (edited) I know a few others who have complained of this when their life has picked up but not quite in terms of "when a guy looks happy a women wants to ruin it". It was more along the lines of they want to go along for the ride to uplift their own life, especially if their life now has shyty circumstances going on. There are guys out there too in ****ty circumstance who want a gf to boost their happiness, but from what I have seen they don't tend to latch on to 'happy & got their **** together' women, rather any caring sympathetic women they can get. I can understand the appeal, but as you said..."On the flipside if a guy looks lonely Outta shape and sad...", its generally a case of 'later loser'. Edited December 18, 2012 by ascendotum
edgygirl Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 That's what happens when a guy gets a little confidence when he works on it and gets to look a little better. Before he was upset that girls didn't pay any attention to him. Now if they do, they want to drag him down. Hmm. There's something skewed about this way of thinking. Men get so defensive when girls want a relationship. You're just a bit bitter that they want you now that you look good and didn't want before as you said in one of your threads. You're kind of punishing the new girls you meet for the lack of attention of girls you tried to date in the past.
Fondue Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 There's something skewed about this way of thinking. Men get so defensive when girls want a relationship. You're just a bit bitter that they want you now that you look good and didn't want before as you said in one of your threads. You're kind of punishing the new girls you meet for the lack of attention of girls you tried to date in the past. I admit that I do this. Back in HS, I was awkward, had a good bit of acne, was on the shorter side, and generally not good with the women. A lot of women ignored me, especially the attractive ones. Now in my 20s, I am tall, well built, a success, and my confidence/ego is pretty high. I get quite a bit of female attention, be it at bars or just outside. The feeling I get when I run into an old HS classmate and they swoon over me, then I purposefully shatter their hopes-- it makes me really, really happy. I sometimes do this to women I never met before either, but I just know they treated guys like me back in HS like ****, so I purposefully do the same with them now. It is a little bit of payback. I know it is weird, but I admit to it. I think I am not the only one. 1
movingon12 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 I I sometimes do this to women I never met before either, but I just know they treated guys like me back in HS like ****, so I purposefully do the same with them now. It is a little bit of payback. I know it is weird, but I admit to it. I think I am not the only one. How do you know those women weren't also spotty, awkward and unpopular when they were at high school? It goes both ways... 1
edgygirl Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Because when men feel like that and do these things... It's never really about the women. It's about themselves and their insecurities and wanting revenge. It's a matter of (low) self esteem. Look at these few guys here on the forum that are women haters (they did not post in this thread yet). They were so humiliated by women not wanting them in the past that the only solution they found was to memorize PUA techniques to get some and then proceed to make it a numbers game to feel god about themselves as well as to treat women badly and using them when dating. Something tells me they are not particularly happy people, no matter how many girls they bed. It's a shame men have to resort to hating instead of dealing with their own insecurities in a healthier way. It's a lose lose situation for both men and women. Bites me that the very guys who do it can't see that. How do you know those women weren't also spotty, awkward and unpopular when they were at high school? It goes both ways...
iris219 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Yes, the Secret Society of Women (ALL women in the world are members), meet monthly to discuss how we can make men's lives suck. Our latest endeavor is to find men who look happy and crush that happiness. If I was you, I'd avoid smiling or laughing in public. You might to start complaining a lot as well. Seriously, we all meet people who aren't good for us, so we don't let them into our lives. These women would probably say the same thing about you. You not wanting a relationship with them is making them unhappy. This sounds like a case of incompatible goals, not a case of women ganging up on you to make you miserable. 2
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Fondue, I "liked" your post because I appreciated your honesty and that you owned what you do, even though I don't actually "like" it. OP - most of us have had to go through meeting lots of needy losers when we appear to have a lot to offer. Just be kind and move on. As others have said, at least you know you are attracting women.
Fondue Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Because when men feel like that and do these things... It's never really about the women. It's about themselves and their insecurities and wanting revenge. It's a matter of (low) self esteem. Look at these few guys here on the forum that are women haters (they did not post in this thread yet). They were so humiliated by women not wanting them in the past that the only solution they found was to memorize PUA techniques to get some and then proceed to make it a numbers game to feel god about themselves as well as to treat women badly and using them when dating. Something tells me they are not particularly happy people, no matter how many girls they bed. It's a shame men have to resort to hating instead of dealing with their own insecurities in a healthier way. It's a lose lose situation for both men and women. Bites me that the very guys who do it can't see that. Let's be honest for a second here, can you really put all that blame solely on the man? After years of experiencing misery and displeasure from the opposite sex, can you really blame a man for not being at least a little bit jaded? I assume it is the same thing with women. If a girl was overweight in HS, had some pimples, maybe she just had awkward character, and in the end, never had a guy give her any attention but just loved her friends, would she not be a little bit pissed at men in general? She too, will one day grow into a beautiful swan and have just that little bit of angst towards the male population. It is the same thing. You teach both men, and women, to be more respectful with one another at a younger age, don't treat each other as ****, and maybe we will reduce this sort of behavior in adult life. Yes, I am jaded. I do not hate women, not at all, but I do hold a little bit of anger in me that resurfaces once in a while, I appease it by treating these same "hot" women from my earlier years in the same way they treated me. Sometimes we are a product of our environment .
plainjane79 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Let's be honest for a second here, can you really put all that blame solely on the man? After years of experiencing misery and displeasure from the opposite sex, can you really blame a man for not being at least a little bit jaded? I assume it is the same thing with women. If a girl was overweight in HS, had some pimples, maybe she just had awkward character, and in the end, never had a guy give her any attention but just loved her friends, would she not be a little bit pissed at men in general? She too, will one day grow into a beautiful swan and have just that little bit of angst towards the male population. It is the same thing. You teach both men, and women, to be more respectful with one another at a younger age, don't treat each other as ****, and maybe we will reduce this sort of behavior in adult life. Yes, I am jaded. I do not hate women, not at all, but I do hold a little bit of anger in me that resurfaces once in a while, I appease it by treating these same "hot" women from my earlier years in the same way they treated me. Sometimes we are a product of our environment . Meh, I was pretty but awkward in high school and couldn't get a date to save my life, but I don't let that color my behavior towards men now. I figured if they were dating the pretty, empty-headed woo-girls instead of me, they were getting punished in their own way. You need to keep these things in perspective. Everyone pays a price; nobody got out of high school unscathed, so why add to their misry now?
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