woohoo77 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS LONG POST, PLEASE BARE WITH ME: Here's the thing, i'm a 27 year old guy & a year ago (nov 2011) I met a 22 year old girl in college that I developed feelings for. At the time we met we got along great. There was good conversation and we laughed and talked at school for hours, and then I got her number before Xmas break. I texted her and she texted me back frequently to chat and say hey, then her and her best friend agreed eagerly to hang out with me. I was very happy and hopeful. Sadly, however, I noticed that she began a relationship during the break and I felt completely devastated. I couldn't understand my feelings either, before this time I had never felt so much connection for one person before. I saw her around a couple times early this year in Spring Semester, including once at a dance where we danced & talked together and had lots of fun. After that though I didn't see her for a very long time. A friend of mine had noticed on Facebook that she had become single in April which was a relief to me, even though I hadn't contacted her in awhile. This October I saw her for the first time in 9 months, I ran into her downtown, said hello and took a fun photo session with her on my phone, to which her friends joined as well. From this point on, I saw her around downtown more often, we kept contact every so often and she began inviting me out once a week, and then twice a week up until the last couple of days. We basically started getting along really well. We would meet each other out, we would talk and her and her best friend would laugh at my stupid jokes, and the girl I like would playfully hit me and act goofy with me and stuff. It was amazing, and it made it even better that almost every time she was the one texting me first to hang out. Then, this last Wednesday she invited me out with her friends to go dancing at this bar downtown. I was happy, and we had drinks and danced. It was cool too because her friends liked me a lot and danced with me as well, which showed that they at least accepted me as appropriate. So while i'm dancing with the girl I like, she takes the initiative to grab my hand and holds it in hers multiple times while placing her body against mine, clearly showing an interest. So after this continues, I decide to kiss her when she is facing me. I kiss her in a sweet way and she reciprocates the kiss nicely. This moment was very awesome to me. I have never felt so much for someone for so long and finally had something like that come true. We soon after leave with her and her friends and she takes me to her place to spend the night. Her friends push me into her room and I go inside and kiss her on her bed. She takes her top off and we make out, I begin to pull of her pants instinctively, but she doesnt want to have sex. I immediately respect that and pull them back up for her telling her that i'm okay with that. We stay up for about 30 minutes talking and cuddling and everything is going great. While we are talking we realize that our lives are similar in many ways which makes me even more attracted to her. In the morning, there is absolutely no awkwardness whatsoever. We have conversation and she gives me a ride to my car. On the way I mention what her friends said the night before about going out again tonight, and I say that if she feels like hanging out to hit me up. I don't act needy in any way, even though I truly am ecstatic to have had this night with her, so I keep conversation casual and fun. So when I leave I kiss her twice, but for some reason the way I said goodbye was way too friendly. I immediately regretted that. She texts me later to say that shes just going out to have a couple beers at a nearby bar. I say to hit me up when shes leaving and i'll come join. I feel bad because it seemed like to me I invited myself out, even though she reciprocated and told me they were there. But its also cool because this is the place where I work so everyone knows me, making it less awkward. So I get there, and its her, her best friend, and one of their best guy friends. The only place to sit is near her best friend, so I do. When I sit I have to be honest, everything is pretty awkward for about 15 minutes. Not much is being said. After time passes, however, the guy friend leaves, and its just me and the two girls. At this point, everything slowly becomes cool, we all talk, joke, and reminisce about the night before. We all three even joke about me and the girl I like hooking up, which makes the whole situation more comfortable. I make playful jokes about her snoring and curling up in her bed, which throws them both into a laughing fit, and has her playfully saying she hates me. Her best friend jokes with me also. Its basically going really well. But it seems that we're all maybe on a friendship level with it though which I can't tell is a good sign or not. Hard to tell though, we all three seemed unsure of how to establish what exactly was going on with me and the girl. Like a friends with benefits thing. Her best friend actually calls us friends with benefits playfully during our conversation at the table. So we leave after about an hour, and on the way out I hug her best friend and simply hug the girl I like. As i'm walking away her best friend is like "Hey come hang out day after tomorrow".. to which I tell them to simply text me about it. So, that day comes around and the girl I like texts me, and says that instead they are just going to have a girls night out since its her best friends last day in our city, which is true she was moving away the next day for good. I was really sad because I felt like this night was my chance to kill any awkwardness, and say something meaningful to the girl I like. She herself would be going home for the break for a couple weeks two days after. I didn't hear anything from her for two days, & on my Facebook news feed I saw shes going home so I texted her "been fun hangin drive safe!" and she said "fo sho have a nice break!". I think she likes me because shes always texted me first, and a couple times before we hooked up she would text me after we hung out. I've always made sure shes not been pressured & now I don't know what to do. I have strong feelings for this girl, and I may be overanalyzing but i'm scared in our last meeting that i've done something wrong. I don't want to lose her like I did last year. She just left for break so I can't see her for a couple weeks. Women of the world, I really need your help..what do you think? Should I text her occasionally on break? Call? Do nothing?
sweetkiwi Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 She's 22, in college, drinks regularly, and you've only gone out to bars. Doesn't sound promising. But If i were you id make plans to go on an actual date right before returning to school. If she doesn't text or call the whole time during break the outlook is bleak. If she does, awesome!! But you gotta get her alone.
Author woohoo77 Posted December 18, 2012 Author Posted December 18, 2012 should i occasionally text her though during break?
sweetkiwi Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 No. If she texts you that's a green light. No amount of testing is going to make her want you. In fact it usually has the opposite effect. If she doesn't text in a week theres not much attraction. And don't stalk her Facebook. 1
Author woohoo77 Posted December 18, 2012 Author Posted December 18, 2012 (edited) Oh for sure, I make sure to never comment or like ANYTHING on her Facebook. I keep things smooth when I can, for example she was the first one to text me the other night, and said right away that she was doing the girls night thing for her friend that was leaving, I replied "Ok have fun. Tell your friend I said bye for me" & then went out with my friends that night. I felt like that was good to show her after we hooked up that i'm not clingy. That was a good move right? Edited December 18, 2012 by woohoo77
sweetkiwi Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Yes honey but you really need to stop analyzing everything. Easier said then done i know. Be prepared to throw this fish back.
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