2 days no contact, kind of broken up... Should I Respond To Him?

[NoClue2]

Need advice here. Me and my boyfriend have had a really strong relationship since we got back together a year ago (I’m 23, he’s 24). We’ve been together 2 and a half years total. Ever since breaking up last year and getting back together, we’ve been affectionate, in love, and what I believed was happy. We barely ever fought. He bought me a beautiful gold ring for my birthday a month and a half ago and said that the ring symbolized that when he had enough money to marry me and get me an actual engagement ring, he would. It was basically a promise ring with the intention that once we had enough money we would get engaged and get married. We have had plans for the last year that we’re going to move out of my parents and get our own place once we saved enough money (would only have taken us another 4 or 5 more months).

 

Exactly a month ago, out of nowhere, we had a small argument and he said, “well maybe I should move out and get my own place.” His friend came over after, and even though we’d made up, he kept saying that maybe he should get his own place and that we needed space from each other. This really hit me hard and I ended balling because it came out of absolutely nowhere. We started arguing a lot after that, I almost felt like he was intentionally starting arguments and threatening to leave and move out to make me feel insecure in our relationship.

 

Things really blew up one night and I finally told him thatif he wanted to leave, then he should get out. I told him I was done with him threatening to leave me. We made up after but tensions still felt really high. I went out with my girlfriend to a pub on Wednesday because I needed someone to vent to. He was really pissed off since we agreed to only go to bars together (which I didn’t mind since I loved going out with him and we share a lot of friends). I ended up staying at her house since I didn’t want to drink and drive and he basically lost it. I told him that since he was doing whatever he wanted by moving out, I was going to do what I wanted too.

 

Well, he ended up moving out the next DAY! I could have stopped him, but I figured, what’s the point if he’s just saving enough money to move out, anyways? We agreed we were still in a relationship, however. Everything seemed okay and normal the next day but then on Friday, I went out and he partied at his friend’s house and we didn’t talk all night. I called him the next day, no answer. I sent him a bunch of texts accusing him of sleeping with someone else (since he did the last time we broke up, like a week after) and he didn’t call or text me back until 5 but told me he loved me and that nothing happened. I asked him if we were doing something and he said he was too hung-over. I asked him to do something Sunday and he told me he was going snowboarding.

 

After that, I sent him a text saying there’s no point in being in a relationship if he would rather spend all his time with his friends. He said I was crazy. I didn’t text him anything after that or try to call (Saturday night) and he claimed Sunday morning that he had only just received my last text and that he wasn’t getting service in the room he was staying in. I didn’t bother responding. That’s the last time we’ve talked since Sunday morning, with no contact from me since Saturday night, until he just texted me, “What are you doing?"

 

So, what the hell?! Apparently we’re not broken up but we just don’t talk? Should I even respond to him or should I make him sweat it out a little? I’m basically in shock that we can go from a great relationship, buying me a promise ring, have a plan in place for buying our own house, to absolute crap in a month, and I don’t understand what he’s trying to do here. He’s a very cut and dry person, so if he wants out, why not just break up with me and be done with it? Why is he playing this game?

 

He always thought that because I took him back last time webroke up when he slept with someone else and because it devastated me so much, that I would come crawling back to him like last time - which I refuse to do. I am in a lot better place emotionally right now then I was then but I just don’t understand what’s going on here. Why not just break up with me?! Should I be making contact and responding to him or is that just giving in to him thinking I’ll come crawling back (even though we’re not broken up!)? How do you think he’s feeling right now??

 

Advice PLEASE!! And thanks all!

Edited December 18, 2012 by NoClue2

[Mike_d]

if he has been violating the relationship by sleeping with others in the past, can't be steady here, and won't work to fix things then it seems pretty straight forward.

 

the "reasons" you ask about would just be words, words don't matter. you've already heard words, how did they end up working out for you in the past with him - honest and congruent? or misleading and evasive? actions count here, his actions say he doesn't want to be with you right now.

[NoClue2]

He slept with someone when we were broken up though, with no intention of getting back together with me. He's never cheated on me while in a relationship so I don't think I can fault him for that. I wasn't an angel when we broke up either.