ChinoMarino Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Hi and thank you for reading So here is my story: I had been seeing this girl for about 3 months and going strong we had a holiday booked to go to Italy together for new year. We saw each other every other weekend and sometimes consecutive weekends staying in hotels or holiday homes and visiting places around the UK. We had an amazing time together and I slowly fell for her as I thought she was falling for me. The last time we saw each other I met her parents and friends and I got on really well with them. She also stated then that she had a different thought process due to ex being an emotional puppet master who would let her down all the time and not show up. She thought I wasn't going to come and see her and guarded herself from getting excited about seeing because of it... However, 2 weeks before we are going on holiday she decides to tell me that she is confused and is not sure what she wants... She wants to keep in contact which I have had said that is not an option until I shake my feelings for her away. I also stated that I wont be used because I want to be more than just friends. I have spoke to her tonight to sort out the holiday that we booked together and she misses me after just one week its so confusing and I want to be with her just not without the same feelings being reciprocated. Her background: She is 23 She was in a relationship for 7 years and recently broke up with him about 4 to 5 months ago. She lives with her parents at the moment. She also has a house with her ex which she is trying to sort out and sell with her ex and is not in love with him but does have feelings for him. Me: I am 29 I broke up with my ex of 3 years back in February and I had finally forgot about her only to replace her with this girl. It's like a never ending cycle of me possibly being too nice and getting dumped on all the time. Can anyone offer some sound advice of where to go from here? Thank you
Samilia Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Hi and thank you for reading So here is my story: I had been seeing this girl for about 3 months and going strong we had a holiday booked to go to Italy together for new year. We saw each other every other weekend and sometimes consecutive weekends staying in hotels or holiday homes and visiting places around the UK. We had an amazing time together and I slowly fell for her as I thought she was falling for me. The last time we saw each other I met her parents and friends and I got on really well with them. She also stated then that she had a different thought process due to ex being an emotional puppet master who would let her down all the time and not show up. She thought I wasn't going to come and see her and guarded herself from getting excited about seeing because of it... However, 2 weeks before we are going on holiday she decides to tell me that she is confused and is not sure what she wants... She wants to keep in contact which I have had said that is not an option until I shake my feelings for her away. I also stated that I wont be used because I want to be more than just friends. I have spoke to her tonight to sort out the holiday that we booked together and she misses me after just one week its so confusing and I want to be with her just not without the same feelings being reciprocated. Her background: She is 23 She was in a relationship for 7 years and recently broke up with him about 4 to 5 months ago. She lives with her parents at the moment. She also has a house with her ex which she is trying to sort out and sell with her ex and is not in love with him but does have feelings for him. Me: I am 29 I broke up with my ex of 3 years back in February and I had finally forgot about her only to replace her with this girl. It's like a never ending cycle of me possibly being too nice and getting dumped on all the time. Can anyone offer some sound advice of where to go from here? Thank you So.. she met that guy when she was 15 and is just now enjoying a bit of freedom? Your answer's right there. 1
NavyAirTraffic Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 So.. she met that guy when she was 15 and is just now enjoying a bit of freedom? Your answer's right there. Also, from the way you talk, it sounds like you don't live in the same town as this girl. This correct? She prob met someone local when you weren't around.
lovefiction Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 She may just be confused, as she says... After 7 years with someone there is bound to be some repercussions, mixed feelings... Who knows what happened, perhaps dealing with her ex and the house etc. is causing her to second guess what she has with you and needs time to herself... I could not imagine being able to move on from a 7 year relationship in 4-5 months... Maybe she was feeling lonely when she started dating you but now she is not so sure she is ready... Either way, she needs space and time to sort through her confusion... I started dating my ex when he was in the midst of a custody battle... He had just gotten divorced 6 months prior... At the time I thought he seemed really well-adjusted and he said his marriage had been over for years... We were together for two years but now as I am thinking about why things ended, I have come to realize that he changed so much after his custody battle ended... His kids moved with their mom and he had to learn to cope... Now two years later he wants someone who can participate in his new lifestyle (traveling, date nights, etc) and I am a single mother who can't do those things to his liking... When we met, he was happy with me and my son... Now, it has become an inconvenience... The lesson I learned (the hard way) - just because someone wants to date does not mean they are ready to... 1
Samilia Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 She may just be confused, as she says... After 7 years with someone there is bound to be some repercussions, mixed feelings... Who knows what happened, perhaps dealing with her ex and the house etc. is causing her to second guess what she has with you and needs time to herself... I could not imagine being able to move on from a 7 year relationship in 4-5 months... Maybe she was feeling lonely when she started dating you but now she is not so sure she is ready... Either way, she needs space and time to sort through her confusion... I started dating my ex when he was in the midst of a custody battle... He had just gotten divorced 6 months prior... At the time I thought he seemed really well-adjusted and he said his marriage had been over for years... We were together for two years but now as I am thinking about why things ended, I have come to realize that he changed so much after his custody battle ended... His kids moved with their mom and he had to learn to cope... Now two years later he wants someone who can participate in his new lifestyle (traveling, date nights, etc) and I am a single mother who can't do those things to his liking... When we met, he was happy with me and my son... Now, it has become an inconvenience... The lesson I learned (the hard way) - just because someone wants to date does not mean they are ready to... That is so true.
Author ChinoMarino Posted December 18, 2012 Author Posted December 18, 2012 She definitely needs to clear her head and move on from her past. Until she sorts out the house with her ex its going to drag bad memories up. Also can you ever truly know when to let your guard down, I was confident I was right this time to but I always end up hurt when I do. Yeah I'll leave her be and maybe contact her after a month to see hows she's doing or should I wait for her to contact me? Thank you for your replies its all a bit clearer to me now.
Author ChinoMarino Posted December 18, 2012 Author Posted December 18, 2012 Also, from the way you talk, it sounds like you don't live in the same town as this girl. This correct? She prob met someone local when you weren't around. Yes I live about an hour and thirty mins away due to work and we would arrange to see other on the weekend. Also I was introduced through a friend who is also friends with his fiance so I would know if she was seeing someone else.
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