cocolove Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Backstory here So I haven't seen my ex for almost two years until two nights ago. We broke up had sporadic contact through the two years we were broken up (some good some bad). After I got over him, which took me about a year he slowly came back and attempted contacting me again. We've been establishing a friendship/flirting for the past four months. We both agreed to start fresh, that we could possibly work things out it seemed like he wanted to start seeing me again. My roomie finally left our apartment to go back home for the holidays, and I was lonely. I randomly talked to my ex about coming over hanging out which probably wasn't the ideal thing to do. He came over pretty late, we talked for a bit and it was a tad awkward. He had been working earlier in the day claimed to be tired so he slept over. One thing lead to another we were making out the whole nine yards. He said he had to leave early the following day due to other obligations, and I was fine with that. We woke up he gave me a kiss left and didn't call or text the entire day. Well today, I get a text this morning saying " I feel like the connection we had before was different. It doesn't feel the same. I'm sorry but I also feel like I'm being forced into things with you. It's uncomfortable for me, like we aren't even dating and you're calling me baby. Telling me I love you it's just crazy. Things just aren't the same, maybe we should stick to just friends." I was pretty thrown, but not surprised. I felt like it was uncomfortable too, yet he still wanted to sleep with me. I responded with, "I realized that last night. I didn't say I loved you, but yea that was not taking it slow like we agreed. It's fine i felt the same. Btw I wasn't calling you baby because I thought you were mine or anything. I know were both single still, I don't need a relationship from you. We can be friends whatever. You just came over to get your dick wet. I should have realized that and not based it on potentially getting back together one day. Have a good one." I was pretty upset that he didn't say anything prior to bedding me. He claimed to not want to come over because he didn't want me to hurt him, but now I'm left feeling confused and hurt myself. I let my guard down, I gave in and I'm quite disappointed in myself. Everything up to that point seemed to be going well, like we could make it work if we put in the effort. Should I just give up, or give it time and have a proper date without rushing to anything sexual again?
Quest4_TheLost Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 I'd give it up. Why would you want to be with someone who plays games. One minute he is talking about possibilities of a future. The next he gets into your panties and now its to much for him? Yea whatever. He sounds like a douche. Sorry girly.. Don't waste your time with a guy that breaths hot and cold. He said the connection feels diffrent between you two. I read that as I don't feel that connection with you anymore. So what exactly is there to wait for? 1
aMguilts Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 (edited) it`s been 2 years! How much more time will it take for 1 of you to go NC and mean it?? He used you. Free sex from my ex? yeah ok!! You both used each other. Nothing wrong with that at all. What is wrong is that neither of you will actually be mature enough to say enough is enough, and stick to it. aM Edited December 18, 2012 by aMguilts
aMguilts Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 (edited) Cocolove you have done nothing wrong. Don`t beat yourself up over this. The only thing you are doing wrong is to over analise the situation. You posted in hindsight. Would you of slept with him still knowing what you know now? My guess is yes, you still would? Don`t feel bad about it, it happened. aM Edited December 18, 2012 by aMguilts
Author cocolove Posted December 19, 2012 Author Posted December 19, 2012 Thank you both for your responses. I asked to talk the next day and we did, he owned up to doing a 'typical guy' thing only out for sex and apologized. He claims he should have left once he got there realizing he wasn't comfortable, and apologized for hurting me. I told him maybe I'm just not the right girl for you, and that I hope he finds her because I deserve better. I ended the call, and he sounded kind of sad about it. After that conversation I think I'll be going NC once again before I start falling in love with him again.
aMguilts Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Thank you both for your responses. I asked to talk the next day and we did, he owned up to doing a 'typical guy' thing only out for sex and apologized. He claims he should have left once he got there realizing he wasn't comfortable, and apologized for hurting me. I told him maybe I'm just not the right girl for you, and that I hope he finds her because I deserve better. I ended the call, and he sounded kind of sad about it. After that conversation I think I'll be going NC once again before I start falling in love with him again. hi cocolove NC is the very best thing you can do. In fact its the only thing you can do. This time stick to it. Move on with your life Hugs aM
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