ThaWholigan Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Where have you been kaylan !?!?! Living life probably 2
kaylan Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Where have you been kaylan !?!?! Working full time and spending off days with a new lady =). I dont have a lot of free time lately. But shes studying for finals, and today I am off from work, so Im relaxing at home. However, part of the reason Ive been around less is my smartphone has been acting weird and Ive had to use a crappy old nokia candybar phone until I get a new one. The nokia is slow as hell with internet so its not worth it to try and surf the web away from home. 2
sweetkiwi Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Yong i can tell i wouldn't go down on you just from your attitude. 1
yongyong Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 what attitude? your attitude is you blow any guys? unconditional BJ? Yong i can tell i wouldn't go down on you just from your attitude.
Tara247 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 So I was on a third date with this man, and i ended up going down on him. I asked for a return of the favor and he said he only goes down on girls he's in a relationship with. I don't know what to think of this. I feel kind of cheep, and well worried that this guy sleeps around. And i feel silly.. i don't know what to think but, is giving a bj, dangerous, concerning std's? I feel stupid. He just wasn't into you. However, even if he was, giving a man a bj on a third date is just too soon.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Giving a guy a bj after 3 dates makes the guy think you are a sl8t and unfortunately, men will wonder who else you have given a bj to so early. Learn from this experience. It doesn't define you but you can see it that giving a guy, no matter how gratifying for them, it doesn't make you come across as relationship-worthy. Draw lines, and if you ever plan on being sexual again, wait until at least the 5th date, and when the guy seems like he's ready to ask you to be his girl. It will save you alot of heartache.
yongyong Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 I don't think she is a slut by American standard. I am sure most girls here had a experience of sleeping with a guy within 3 dates. 1st: kiss 2nd: make out 3rd: sex. isn't this a common rule? Giving a guy a bj after 3 dates makes the guy think you are a sl8t and unfortunately, men will wonder who else you have given a bj to so early. Learn from this experience. It doesn't define you but you can see it that giving a guy, no matter how gratifying for them, it doesn't make you come across as relationship-worthy. Draw lines, and if you ever plan on being sexual again, wait until at least the 5th date, and when the guy seems like he's ready to ask you to be his girl. It will save you alot of heartache.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted December 18, 2012 Author Posted December 18, 2012 I don't think she is a slut by American standard. I am sure most girls here had a experience of sleeping with a guy within 3 dates. 1st: kiss 2nd: make out 3rd: sex. isn't this a common rule? Thats what i thought. But, it seems like i'm wrong.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 I don't think she is a slut by American standard. I am sure most girls here had a experience of sleeping with a guy within 3 dates. 1st: kiss 2nd: make out 3rd: sex. isn't this a common rule? American standard indeed, which is why most guys will still want a bj from a girl but still not give one in return. Honestly, even if it is an American standard, where has it gotten anyone? You expose yourself to being used, and at risk for an STD. This kind of standard is why most girls still get used for sex and then they come here and wonder why they slept with a guy and then have the guy disappear on them. Sex is easy for men to get, if the girl is willing to give it up. And if it's a bj, then expect a guy to think badly of the girl, including the double standards. I'm not calling her a slut by any means, but having been one of those girls who have had sex early on in the dating game, I have learned it hard way, that sometimes a little patience and waiting goes a long way. The 3 date rule is not a rule, but merely a guideline. However, if you are honestly, looking for a good relationship with a man who actually wants you for a girlfriend, you learn to be a little patience with sex. In order for others to respect you, you teach others how to treat you.
yongyong Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Well, if you've been here long enough, you will realize many things about women here. They never bang a guy because of his looks. it's all about his personality. They never had a one night stand. It just happened somehow because they were in love. They don't bang a guy unless he is a future husband. casual sex is only for 'sluts' They Want to believe guys banged them because they were into their personality, not because he just wanted to get laid by some decent chick. They don't know the word 'slut' but they know how to use it well for others. Thats what i thought. But, it seems like i'm wrong.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Well, if you've been here long enough, you will realize many things about women here. They never bang a guy because of his looks. it's all about his personality. They never had a one night stand. It just happened somehow because they were in love. They don't bang a guy unless he is a future husband. casual hsex is only for 'sluts' They Want to believe guys banged them because they were into their personality, not because he just wanted to get laid by some decent chick. They don't know the word 'slut' but they know how to use it well for others. Excuse me, but I do not represent the women on this forum and please do not misconstrue me as attacking the OP. I was merely stating from my experiences and as someone who has been through what she has been through, my advice only serves to help the OP and hope she learns to be a smarter dater. She needs to learn how to look out for herself. There are many men out there, who will act accordingly to a certain degree, but they will still test how far a woman is willing to let things slide. She needs to learn to have definite boundaries so men won't be able to use her. In most cases, a person's actions define them. Not that her action was wrong, but she will need to learn that sometimes, giving a blowjob so early on (or any sexual behaviour) can be miscontrued as something else entirely. People perceive things differently, and unfortunately, in the OP's case, the guy used her for self-gratification. Like I said, set boundaries.
yongyong Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 It had nothing to do with you. anyways, in my honest opinion as a guy, if he is not interested in her, he won't be interested whether he gets BJs on 5th date or 10th date (usually guys will stop wasting their time if he is not that into her and she is not putting out) When the guy is not that interested and they opened Pandora box, the attraction will go down dramatically since they got what they wanted. however, he might call her again when he is just horny. In my experience, if I liked a girl, the attraction got bigger even though we went too fast. Excuse me, but I do not represent the women on this forum and please do not misconstrue me as attacking the OP. I was merely stating from my experiences and as someone who has been through what she has been through, my advice only serves to help the OP and hope she learns to be a smarter dater. She needs to learn how to look out for herself. There are many men out there, who will act accordingly to a certain degree, but they will still test how far a woman is willing to let things slide. She needs to learn to have definite boundaries so men won't be able to use her. In most cases, a person's actions define them. Not that her action was wrong, but she will need to learn that sometimes, giving a blowjob so early on (or any sexual behaviour) can be miscontrued as something else entirely. People perceive things differently, and unfortunately, in the OP's case, the guy used her for self-gratification. Like I said, set boundaries.
rester Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 It's completely understandable you feel silly, but you didn't do anything wrong or slutty in my eyes. The last two long-term relationships I had ended in sex after either the first or second date. I never thought less of these women for moving quickly. That said, I wouldn't let a woman go down on me if I didn't plan to return the favor. It's indecent and poor manners to me. I don't know if others would agree with this, but if I were in your shoes I would flat out tell him how this situation made you feel, without blaming him for anything. Tell him the whole thing made you feel silly if that's what you feel. If he's worth any more of your time he'll be able to explain himself and eventually you might be able to get a laugh out of it. If he gets defensive or withdraws, he's probably not worth any more of your time. 2
dasein Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Didn't read whole thread. I wouldn't say you were used outright, or that he isn't into you, but this is one aspect of a sexual double standard that actually is a double standard. If he's not willing to give, he should not expect to receive. Things were likely heated in the moment, so maybe some more dates are in order before writing this one off. Good luck.
rocketman122 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 a guy not LOVING to eat puwssy is a puwssy. I cant stand it if I cant taste and smell my GF for even a day. its like medicine for me. 2
Tara247 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Think that he was being honest with you. (Isn't that what people say they want from others--honesty?) He didn't do anything at all out of line. He didn't "use" you as some are saying here. He has no obligation to give you oral just because you chose to give him oral. You have no cause to hold a grudge against him. Next time if you don't want to give oral unless you also get oral, it's your obligation to make that clear before doing the deed. He did use her.
ascendotum Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 He did use her. imo its too early to really tell. Not reciprocating I agree is somewhat scabby, but I know a number of guys who have the same philosophy as he does, as in only in a relationship. The thing is if a girl is pulling your daks down to give you a special treat, seriously most guys are not going to ruin the moment, by saying 'wooooah hold up there before you go any further, I think you should know if you expect me to go down on you in return well it ain't going to happen'. You would like to think that by date 3 he would know how he felt about her in that regard and it was clear her intentions were to move forward, but at the same time a lot of girls screw around for fun, so it could easily be no sure thing for him yet. At this stage I gather they are still just dating and as far as I read he is still on the scene.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted December 18, 2012 Author Posted December 18, 2012 Well i asked him about it. Via text. And he was like, "well, i didn't force you or anything." Pretty defensive. I don't really want to see him again, even though i really liked him. He has a point. But...seem's like something is off.
SoulSearcher22 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 a guy not LOVING to eat puwssy is a puwssy. I cant stand it if I cant taste and smell my GF for even a day. its like medicine for me. Completely agree. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 a guy not LOVING to eat puwssy is a puwssy. I cant stand it if I cant taste and smell my GF for even a day. its like medicine for me. I love you That said, I wouldn't let a woman go down on me if I didn't plan to return the favor. It's indecent and poor manners to me. I love you, too 2
EasyHeart Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Waitaminnit. Was it your birthday? Because everyone knows that's the only time you have to go down on a chick. Anything else is just weird.
newmoon Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 maybe i'm old-fashioned or respect myself more than the average woman but after 3 dates? giving a bj and/or having sex? it's just crazy. it takes months (often years) to truly know someone and to just give up your body like that? maybe not slutty or trampy, but certainly doesn't show respect for yourself or the process of getting to know someone. had you waited longer you would have probably seen his more selfish personality or traits emerge - no one to blame but yourself
veggirl Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Don't see him again. Even if you keep dating he isn't gonna return the favor and you'll likely end up going down on him every time before you have sex and whatnot. The first time I have sex with someone, he gets what he gives. He gets nothing sexually first (and I mean like he doesn't get the first oral-the first time- not like he has to go down on me first everytime...but the first time we have sex...yep he's not getting it unless he gives it first)
tigressA Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Well i asked him about it. Via text. And he was like, "well, i didn't force you or anything." Pretty defensive. I don't really want to see him again, even though i really liked him. He has a point. But...seem's like something is off. UGH. Loser. Next!
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