Is it okay for us to talk to people of the opposite sex?

[Wonder310]

I've been "talking" to this girl for over a year & we plan on getting together eventually, just not right now. We talk like we're in a relationship though. She gets mad because I talk to a lot of girls (only as a friend) & that I talk to my bestfriend, who happens to be a girl too. She thinks that I flirt with her too, when I don't.

 

She also talks to guys, but when I get jealous, she says I'm being "annoying". So, is it okay for us to talk to other people of the opposite sex until we're in a relationship? Any advice?

[sweetkiwi]

Oh dude. How old are you?

[Wonder310]

Old enough?

[sweetkiwi]

Hahaha for booze? Cigarettes? Solid food? Listen Im not trying to be a beach. But. This girl isn't your girlfriend. You two are jealous of eachothers friends. This whole thing is not good. Not mature. Not healthy.

 

To answer your question. Yes. It is fine to converse with members of the opposite sex. Always. Relationship or not.

[Wonder310]

Cigarettes lol thanks. What if she doesn't trust me?

[sweetkiwi]

Any relationship is based on trust. Without it you have nothing. Take it from this old gal who has had situations like the one you are describing. This will not end well. Trust is essential. Especially in a LDR. And in my personal opinion jealousy is never to be tolerated, especially when its acted upon.

[Wonder310]

Thanks. I tried cutting off many females just to gain her trust, but she still doesn't trust me. She continued to talk to other guys too. It confused me so much -__-

[sweetkiwi]

One certainly in this is don't abandon true friends for women, or men. Nothing you do will gain her trust. And when the sheet hits the fan you'll need your friends to turn to. I realize you'll do whatever you want in this situation but believe me. You need something else. There will never be a shortage If interesting, trusting and trustworthy people you can pour your energy upon. Focus on them.

[justwhoiam]

I've been "talking" to this girl for over a year & we plan on getting together eventually, just not right now. We talk like we're in a relationship though. She gets mad because I talk to a lot of girls (only as a friend) & that I talk to my bestfriend, who happens to be a girl too. She thinks that I flirt with her too, when I don't.

Do you chat with girls online? Maybe on FB? Even girls you've never met? Or are you talking about girls you work with or classmates etc? Elaborate please.

[AngrySpider]

Nothing wrong with being friends with members of the opposite sex.So as long as "we're just friends" is an actual statement of fact and not a BS line.

[Carenth]

I have a number of female friends and yes they are only friends in the purely platonic sense. Anyone who tried to tell me I wasn't allowed to hang out with them or talk to them... would find they wouldn't be with me for very long.

 

That sort of behavior is just jealous, insecure and controlling. Not qualities I look for in a partner.

[HeavenOrHell]

Of course it's ok to talk to the opposite sex when you're in a r/ship, would be crazy not to!

Obviously there have to be boundaries once you're in a r/ship, ie my partner's ex used to stay at his every w/end and I had to ask him to tone it down to once a month as it was clear she was emotionally dependent on him to some extent, and he was to her, she moved away in the end. I'm friends with my ex as well and neither of us have any problems with it.

 

Me and him both have friends of the opposite sex, it's not a problem, as long as you trust each other and don't overstep any boundaries-I guess that would be something like talking hours every night to another female, or being VERY flirty, I think a little harmless flirting is alright.

 

If anyone is making a fuss about you talking to other females, I'd take it as warning side that they could be very possessive if you had a r/ship with them, this girl you're talking to isn't even your partner and yet she's getting mad at you.

 

 

I've been "talking" to this girl for over a year & we plan on getting together eventually, just not right now. We talk like we're in a relationship though. She gets mad because I talk to a lot of girls (only as a friend) & that I talk to my bestfriend, who happens to be a girl too. She thinks that I flirt with her too, when I don't.

 

She also talks to guys, but when I get jealous, she says I'm being "annoying". So, is it okay for us to talk to other people of the opposite sex until we're in a relationship? Any advice?

[Wonder310]

So I try giving her space to make her realize what she wants & to see if she misses me. She keeps texting me though. I'll end up replying because I don't want to feel rude or anything or have to deal with her drama later. What should I say when she texts me? She doesn't seem interested in me anymore, honestly. I want to get her interested again. I think she's just used to me because we would talk 24/7.

[Carenth]

Already told you what to do in your other thread, tell this child to get lost seriously. You must have some self respect right? Why would you put up with this crap? you aren't being rude for not wanting her to contact you.

[RedHead33]

When you get old enough you will realize that it's practically impossible to be a really good friend with an opposite sex without feelings/ flirting/ sex coming between two people.

She cares about you, is jealous and that's why's why she is complaining.

[Wonder310]

We ended it again. She called me annoying as **** & that I made her mad. She told me to leave her alone too ..

[todreaminblue]

i think having friendships with the opposite sex is normal, i am sort of on the fence though.....because ill be honest here most guys i have as friends in the past( I attribute this have tried it on me at one stage or another....and if you read the board here the last thing guys seem to want, is to be friend zoned with women.....So no matter what people say there is always the strong possibility of sexual tension comes into play when a girl or guy is single its harmless when you introduce a partner, it starts ticking,jealousies can flare up whether justified or not, I understadn why guys get jealous, partly because i knwo soem guys just dont care fi you hav ea boyfriend or not in fact some enjoy the challenge ....same with women....so i think it is a fine line where you hvae to have six foot fences put up in the way of boundaries with dobermanns on guard as well.:bunny::bunny:..ok i am getting images had to write that about the dobermanns, rotties are better guards, their saliva when they lick you to death...killer...sorry tangent....

 

 

i dont think it right to play petulant child and sulk about jealousy, i think open ended honesty from both sides builds a strong relationship and trustworthiness is also built in with this....to be trust worthy you have to trust......and i always go into a relationship that way...until proven that i was wrong to trust......then .....i dont get jealous....just extremely disappointed disillusioned and distrustful......jealousy is a futile emotion for both..doesnt prevent anything from happening..it doesnt deal with anything.....pointless emotion to feel......deb

[CarrieT]

You are much better off.

 

And RedHead is whacked - I've got a TON of male friends that my partner knows about and has met. It is possible to have friends of the opposite sex if done with full disclosure and honesty to all involved.