annabelle26 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 ive had one long term (6yr) failed relationship. been single 2 years, dated on and off. im starting to feel conscious of my age. i feel like a dating failure to be honest. all of my friends are married settled with kids or at the least in long term relationships. then there's me. i feel hopeless. my younger brother (22) is on his second serious relationship. his girlfriend is lovely. they're always coming over and it just makes me more conscious of what i dont have. someone please tell me its not that big a deal to be single at my age? i want to get married and have kids one day but it feels like it might not happen for me.
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 It isn't a big deal and 26 isn't old LOL. If 26 is old some people on here must be dead, they find settled R's. You will too.
ascendotum Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 It isn't a big deal and 26 isn't old LOL. If 26 is old some people on here must be dead, they find settled R's. You will too. That's right. If this was 1940 or you lived in a country time then I guess still being single would seem like you have been left on the shelf, but really you haven't. You just seem like this because of all your friends being married or in LTRs. You are still in the prime of your life. What happened with those guys you dated over the past couple of years...they didn't follow through, or did you fade out on them because they weren't good enough?
Author annabelle26 Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 That's right. If this was 1940 or you lived in a country time then I guess still being single would seem like you have been left on the shelf, but really you haven't. You just seem like this because of all your friends being married or in LTRs. You are still in the prime of your life. What happened with those guys you dated over the past couple of years...they didn't follow through, or did you fade out on them because they weren't good enough? they faded out on me. the most recent one this year hurt. we seemed to get on incredibly well & he just vanished one day. still dont know why. im not needy or anything, these guys seem to like what they see but not who i am. i dont think im a bad person, im considerate, not bossy or needy. maybe thats where im going wrong? i dont want to change who i am but im startiing to feel like i should.
ascendotum Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Ug, I meant to say 'country town'. If the guy that did the vanishing act you had only been on a couple of dates with, well its a bit of a scummy thing to do, but it happens a fair bit in dating (both sexes). If you had been seeing him for a couple of months and he did that, well that's such a ****ty thing. i dont want to change who i am but im startiing to feel like i should. Lots of people on here jsut want to find a great person who loves them for who they are. When it comes to the guys having a hard time with girls on here, its a sure thing the advice dished out to them, is to improve themselves to make themselves more appealing to what women want. I don't see why that should be exclusively for one gender only. You could experiment a little with your style or attitude. No harm in it. For most people being single for two years would be seen as a fair while for someone who doesn't want to be. How much of it is due to your lack of look or personality we have no idea. If you only dated a few guys in that time, then it will be more a case of you having to be a little bit more proactive in getting guy's attention or putting yourself in social situations where you can mingle with available guys.
SoulSearcher22 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 they faded out on me. the most recent one this year hurt. we seemed to get on incredibly well & he just vanished one day. still dont know why. im not needy or anything, these guys seem to like what they see but not who i am. i dont think im a bad person, im considerate, not bossy or needy. maybe thats where im going wrong? i dont want to change who i am but im startiing to feel like i should. Yours just vanished one day too? My most recent did the same thing. The weeks following we're just insane and very self destructive mentally. I'm assuming she went back with her ex. But we've never talked about it. Havent seen her since. I know the feeling so I definitely hate this for you! 1
SoonMyFriend Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 NO WAY is 26 a bad age to be single!! I am 27 and single. I have been dating, and only single a short period of time (ended a 10+ yr LTR in the summer), but honestly, I do not feel like this is an "old" age to be single. I was afraid at first, like you, and was afraid "all the good ones will already be taken" but really, I am enjoying my independence and my budding confidence. 26 is still so young. You have so many years ahead of you I WISH I had ended my relationship earlier so I could be that little bit extra younger... The right guy will come along, just maybe continue to work on yourself and loving you. You have to love yourself first But please, do not feel like 26 is "old" in the dating world. 1
naviis Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 26 is fine, many people at that age are in a relationship yes, but a lot are also still single or just broke up with their college boyfriend/girlfriend. Welcome to the club
FitChick Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 You should be enjoying life in your twenties, seeing the world, meeting new people. You can settle down when there is nothing left to do or see. You will meet someone much better because you will be a more interesting person.
plainjane79 Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 ive had one long term (6yr) failed relationship. been single 2 years, dated on and off. im starting to feel conscious of my age. i feel like a dating failure to be honest. all of my friends are married settled with kids or at the least in long term relationships. then there's me. i feel hopeless. my younger brother (22) is on his second serious relationship. his girlfriend is lovely. they're always coming over and it just makes me more conscious of what i dont have. someone please tell me its not that big a deal to be single at my age? i want to get married and have kids one day but it feels like it might not happen for me. Egads, where do you live? I'm 31, single, and all of my friends and relatives in my age group are just now starting to get engaged or married. Many of them are still single as well. I personally can't see myself getting married for another four or five years...I have so much stuff I still want to do before I settle down and start a family! Just relax and do your thing! You are very very young. Also, depending on where you live, maybe move to a big city? I have friends from small-town Colorado who are my age (early to mid 30s) and feel like freaks when they visit their married friends back home...but then they come back to NYC and go nuts playing the field.
Enema Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 they faded out on me. the most recent one this year hurt. we seemed to get on incredibly well & he just vanished one day. still dont know why. im not needy or anything, these guys seem to like what they see but not who i am. i dont think im a bad person, im considerate, not bossy or needy. maybe thats where im going wrong? i dont want to change who i am but im startiing to feel like i should. If you're honest about your personal pros and cons, why do you think he would vanish? I would never tell her it was the reason, but one of the big ones I broke up with the last girl I was dating (8 months) was because she was late 20's and had no savings or investments, just credit card debt and a car loan. I want someone who has their life together a bit more - but you can't say that.
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