IanS Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Hi, I met a girl on OKCupid. We initially chatted and it went very well so we agreed to meet for Ice Cream and a drink the following week. In the interim we texted each other non-stop and the tone was jocular and flirtatious. Wednesday rolls around and we meet up and it goes rather well and at the end of the date we end up making out in the car. She's tired and a bit drunk so I suggest that she spend the night at my house. We feel pretty comfortable with each other by this point. She agrees and nothing sexual happens, we merely snuggle and kiss a little bit and fall asleep. In the morning I drive her back to her car so she can go to work. After that we resume texting and it's fun and we're clearly very interested in each other. I'm very happy because I like this girl a lot. That weekend we were unable to meet up again but she texts me monday morning saying that she's staying home from work because she feels ill. I don't have work in the morning so I offer to go to her place to bring her some chicken soup and she agrees. I get to her place and we start cuddling again and it progresses to making out and almost becomes sexual. At this point I have to leave for work. We agree to meet up later in the day and pick up where we left off. I show up later, we grab dinner and go back to her place. While we're in bed she says that she's a bit nervous about having sex and I say, "No problem, we don't have to have sex". And we don't we just cuddle and it's sweet. In the morning we begin making out and sex happens very organically and naturally. It was very gratifying for both of us. I don't have a delusions about my sexual ability, but this time I'm certain it was pleasurable for both parties. I leave in the morning feeling very happy. Here's a person I like a lot, am attracted to and sexually compatible with, so I'm very optimistic that things will progress further. The remainder of that day in our texts I notice a tonal shift from her. What she writes is a lot more cautious and tepid. The next day she doesn't text me until I text her mid-day and, again, her tone is much cooler. The next day things resume, but still with a bit more caution. I'm pretty intuitive and a bit worried so I elect to call her that evening. I call her and basically say that I get the impression since we've slept together that you've withdrawn a bit and might have misgivings about continuing to see me. Ultimately, I want to be with someone who wants to be with me and I don't want you to feel trapped, unhappy or overwhelmed by me. We hem and haw a bit and finally decide to part company. It's clear to me that she doesn't want to continue seeing me. She says that she realized that after we had sex that she barely knew me and has always had a bad habit of jumping into things to quickly. From that I infer that she regretted doing it and didn't want to see me anymore. So, basically I'm writing to ask what happened? I'm pretty sad about the whole thing because I really liked this girl. I don't understand how someone could be very interested in me for a week, have satisfying sex with me and then completely withdraw. Also, should I just walk away from the situation or should I try to get back in touch with her. I apologize for the length of this questions but I am very eager to here other peoples input. Thank you.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Sometimes women just want to hook up. But, they don't just say so. It is also possible the sex just wasn't what she expected. Plus, she gave you opportunities to "take advantage" and you did not. Strange as it sounds some women take that as an insult.
plainjane79 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Could be something going on behind the scenes that you don't know about. Do you know anything about her relationship history? She may have just gotten out of a relationship and realized that she's not over the ex or not ready to jump into something new. More often than not, when someone changes direction overnight, there's something else going on in her life that doesn't involve you at all.
Author IanS Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 She mentioned that she recently thought she was in love with someone who didn't feel the same way and kind of ignored her, but I got the impression she had moved on past that. Also, I went on her instagram and she's been out a lot with another guy, so I'm assuming she was dating him also. The more I think about it, the more I realize I should just get over it but I am pretty sad because I felt pretty connected to her.
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