notniceanymore Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I'm not sure if this is the right forum but here goes nothing. I had an affair with a MM for 2 years. This relationship ended 2 years ago and there has been no contact. I have since gotten married, had a son and am happier than ever! I was glad to leave that awful, embarrassing, degrading part of my life behind and make a new life for myself where I am appreciated and truly loved. Well I found out last week that my so called best friend, matron of honor in my wedding, had an affair with the same man behind my, and her husband's, back. I was horrified. I felt betrayed as if i had been the one cheated on. She saw the pain and suffering this lying, womanizing man had put me through and still went after him and confessed she had in fact fallen in love with him. I told her i want nothing to do with her ever again. Am I wrong or right here? Am i acting like a hypocrite?
GLDheart Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Am i acting like a hypocrite? yes [ten characters] 7
Realist3 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Men... After reading here a bit, it is unbelievable how destructive these mofos are. 1
Mr. Lucky Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Well I found out last week that my so called best friend, matron of honor in my wedding, had an affair with the same man behind my, and her husband's, back. Please clarify the circumstances. Do you mean that you're upset that your BF didn't confide in you regarding her involvement with him? Unless you're somehow still involved with the MM, hard to understand how this was "behind your back". As you know better than most, affairs are built on deception. So your outrage over your BF's husband being kept in the dark seems strange - did you feel the same way about your former MM's wife? In any marriage with a WS, there's always someone back at home left to pick up the pieces. You now know two people in that unfortunate circumstance... Mr. Lucky 1
Author notniceanymore Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 I am of course upset she didn't confide in me. Due to the fact she went ahead seeking out his affection after what he did to me.
Mr. Lucky Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Again, the same rules that applied to your affair apply to hers. People in affairs often don't confide in those close to them. I'm guessing that your MM didn't confide in his wife? Mr. Lucky 1
Bryanp Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Maybe you should inform her husband since he has a right to know.
whichwayisup Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Sounds like more you're jealous and hurt that he had another affair, let alone with someone you know, your BF. It's one thing to be disappointed in her not to learn through your mistakes, but to feel 'betrayed' like he cheated on you or went against you for doing this? Makes me wonder if you still have feelings for him. 5
sweetkiwi Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Maybe you should inform her husband since he has a right to know. Yeah and tell the guys wife and your own husband too!! Not going to happen. Sounds like you're jealous. And you really have bigger fish to fry with a kudos and husband then worry about what your ExBFFFFFFF did with your ExMM. She obviously couldn't resist such a catch. And he obvious can't resist any snatch. 1
road Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I'm not sure if this is the right forum but here goes nothing. I had an affair with a MM for 2 years. This relationship ended 2 years ago and there has been no contact. I have since gotten married, had a son and am happier than ever! I was glad to leave that awful, embarrassing, degrading part of my life behind and make a new life for myself where I am appreciated and truly loved. Well I found out last week that my so called best friend, matron of honor in my wedding, had an affair with the same man behind my, and her husband's, back. I was horrified. I felt betrayed as if i had been the one cheated on. She saw the pain and suffering this lying, womanizing man had put me through and still went after him and confessed she had in fact fallen in love with him. I told her i want nothing to do with her ever again. Am I wrong or right here? Am i acting like a hypocrite? Can we have a clear time line? Did you date your BF and have PA with OM same time? Did your PA and GF PA overlap?
Artie Lang Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 HA! you both fell for this scumbag. how epic is that. i agree. sounds like you thought you were the "only one" he was banging, and now you're jealous. i bet he's laughing his ass off right now. 2
GLDheart Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 ... i bet he's laughing his ass off right now. Yep. A guy like that brags about nailing the two of you. I hope you didn't let this guy take any pictures. He sounds like a trophy collector. 1
underwater2010 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Am I wrong or right here? I would probably want nothing to do with that person either, but sadly she did what you did, but took it to another extreme. The only thing worse is that she was/is married also. Am i acting like a hypocrite? You are a hypocrite about her having an affair with a MM only. You did the exact same thing. But she did go after your "Ex" and cheated on her husband. That makes her a little be worse in my book. But why should you care. You are now married with a child. There is no need to worry about any relationship your "Ex" is carrying on with. My advice is to move on from both of them.
Spark1111 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I am of course upset she didn't confide in me. Due to the fact she went ahead seeking out his affection after what he did to me. WoW! So you finally know how his wife would feel; devastated, betrayed, lied to. And a friend? That's a double whammy. 1
CantgetoveritNY Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I'd say your BF sounds like a flawed person. But to decide now, this close to finding out about what she did, is too early to say whether or not her good points outweigh the bad. Give it some time and distance. Cool off.
Artie Lang Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 it sounds like this guy runs in the same social circle as you two. if he does, i'm almost certain you two know his wife. furthermore, it also sounds like your current husband has no idea you were once a OW.
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