Why do women...

[RowanRavyn]

I am not sure why it matters but my hair is long again.

 

Its long because "I" want it long. I think its more attractive. The only reason I cut it was my wonderful children. I like long hair and with my face, I find that I look a bit butch without my hair.

 

Samson I don't know why that image is so disturbing for you, but yeah it does ummmm melt my butter.

 

I do what I do because it make ME feel better these days. That the love of my life finds it attractive is a plus. A woman who loves herself and finds genuine joy in being who she is, will always be attractive.

 

A woman who does what she does for anyone but herself will soon tire of doing it and will likely "let herself go".

 

HavNfun, look for a woman who excites you heart and soul, not just below the belt.

 

Be complete in who YOU are.

 

Anyone who looks for completion in another human will sooner or later be let down. Especially with the looks department.

[sinner]

That neither you nor I have the courage to begin, buddy!

 

One day, Samson, we'll challenge the rampant male bashing on LS. One day...

[moimeme]

There is no 'rampant male bashing'; only the bashing of dysfunctional male attitudes which, thankfully, are not held by all LS men; merely by a certain vocal few.

 

HF, you complained that you were thought sexist; I explained why. Sorry you didn't like it.

 

Why should you be thought shallow because you want a 'hot-looking' wife? Because many folks don't only judge 'heat' through their eyes. The hottest man I know might not turn anyone's head on looks alone, but the content of a man's brain and his approach to life can generate passion that no pretty boy could hope to ignite.

 

And therein lies the dichotomy. There's more than one sort of passion. If you've not experienced the one I'm speaking of, you think the other, physically-based sort is *the* only type and think you must have looks to excite you. If you have been lucky enough to learn about the other type, you'd never again settle for the first because it's lame in comparison. Oh, sure, it's fun enough to be really turned on by somebody because they look a certain way, but being turned on by someone you're infatuated with, no matter how crazy that makes you, can't hold a candle to the other sort of passion. Which, by the way, makes the body of the one you love attractive you you because it is the body of the one you love.

[honey2005]

I understand that hair style is not the most important characteristic. But I think it kind of signifies something more profound that is happening more these days: The Dis-respecting, and "metro-lization" of men, the feminization of men through to tactic of taking away in themselves, aspects which have meaning to men.

 

I never knew that gaining weight or getting your hair cut short was disrespectful to men. I always thought one's body belonged only to themselves and they could do as they pleased with it, and if their partner really loved them it wouldn't matter what they looked like.

[moimeme]

I never knew that gaining weight or getting your hair cut short was disrespectful to men.

 

Not only that, but it's symbolic of the entire breakdown of society. I didn't know Chicken Little had so many relatives.

[havNfun]

well moimeme and honey,

 

you both certainly answered your questions and

perhaps put me in my place.

 

Now, would you mind answering the question posted

for this thread: Why do women often

get their hair cut off after, AND NOT UNTIL,

getting married?

 

If it WHERE true what some of you want to believe,

that it is only about having the style that

makes a woman feel good at the time,

then why doesn't the hair come off PRIOR to getting

married more of the time,

and why doesn't more hair stay long

AFTER marriage with more women?

 

despite the myriad of ways some are trying to convey that

this is shallow (why I don't know)

I have not been so distracted as to

notice this topic, issue, question,

has yet to be answered.

 

and moimeme,

sounds great. I would love to marry a woman sooooo deep and fascinating that

her looks and sex appeal honestly mean NOTHING to me - but,

that is a woman I won't be holding my breath for.

[reasontosigh]

sounds great. I would love to marry a woman sooooo deep and fascinating that her looks and sex appeal honestly mean NOTHING to me - but, that is a woman I won't be holding my breath for

 

Therein lies the rub, I'd say.

 

I'm willing to venture a guess that you give off this vibe in your interactions with the opposite sex - and that women (both hot and not!) are picking up on it.

[Samson]

The hair debate continues.

 

Ya know what is "interesting" I suppose? My wife must tell me before she gets her hair cut. Please understand that his is not manditory, she does it voluntarily. Why? Why is this important? So I will notice, and say, in the least contrived voice possible, "Great Looking Hair! Never looked better!" Of course the sincerity of this reply was lost long ago. I'm guessing that now, on a good day, I might notice if she had ANY hair.

 

The whole issue is so trivial.

 

However, my hair is another matter. There are occasions when I am strongly urged to CUT MY HAIR, and to do it in AN ACCEPTABLE FASHION.

 

One day I suppose I'll miss all this?!

[moimeme]

HF. I did answer your question.

[honey2005]

I have not been so distracted as to

notice this topic, issue, question,

has yet to be answered.

 

Well...

 

 

There are lots of reasons why some women gain weight after marriage and cut their hair. I think RowanRavyn did a very good job of explaining them.

 

I think sometimes its convenience.

 

I think that often in a relationship women especially get so caught up in their partner that they forget to take care of themselves.

 

Health is a big issue. Pregnancy, bad backs, cancer, other illnesses.

 

More "sit down" jobs. Secretary spread is not a joke.

 

Stress: If you aren't prepared to deal with stress, you end up stress eating, feeling to stressed and down to exercise..its a vicious circle.

 

Our fast paced life. Men for the most part have a higher metabolism than women. So grabbing a burger for lunch has less of an affect on them. Our run everywhere with a cell phone on our ear, laptop on the table in front of us, soccer practice, ballet, blah blah blah...have to eat on the run lifestyle wrecks havoc on the body.

 

Lack of self confidence.

 

Lack of mates "good" interest in us.

 

 

Styles change and some women like to try out the newer styles. This summer has been one for short-and-cute type styles so maybe some of the women you're complaining about liked the styles and wanted to try them out.

 

People gain weight for all sorts of reasons. I have put on some extra pounds (no more than 15) while in relationships; principally because eating is a social thing so one tends to eat with one's partner for company rather than because one is particularly hungry. You have to understand that tendency in yourself and guard against it.

 

Your question was answered many times.

[shamen]

I agree: the question has been answered many times.

 

However, I do not think that it is just something that happens when one gets married; it's often something that happens when people are together...

[RowanRavyn]

hmmm

 

Shamen....I think you maybe right perhaps there is something to add to the list:

 

Contentment?

[sinner]

Shamen....I think you maybe right perhaps there is something to add to the list:

 

Contentment?

 

 

And there's the rub: What's experienced as "contentment" by the appearance-challenged spouse is viewed, rightly or wrongly, as "complacency" by the critical spouse.

 

Whatever, it's very sad when the appearance status quo equilibrium alters dramatically--regardless of which spouse "loses" his/her looks.

[moimeme]

Of course, ideally, there wouldn't be a critical spouse.

[meanon]

I think human behaviour in relation to sexuality is significantly more varied and complex than is reflected here, unless the thread is taken as a whole.

 

On the one hand there are those that trade in their spouse regularly for a newer, younger model well into old age. Often, it's a looks/wealth trade off. In his new book (The Naked Woman) Desmond Morris comments on the massive growth in cosmetic surgery. By 2002 more than one million American women had breast enhancement surgery. Yet even this does not prevent the soaring divorce rate and there is an equivalent trend in reductions to remove implants (4,000 in America in 2001). I liked his quote from one of the women who have resented the lengths they have gone to for a prospective mate. She summed up her reversal by saying that following the divorce "the first thing to go, apart from his dog, was the bloody bossom".

 

On the other hand are the many people, men and women, to whom looks are largely irrelevant in mate retention (mate selection is a different matter entirely).

 

In the middle are the majority to whom looks matter to varying degrees (maybe more for men than for women) but are insufficient on their own to account for the breaking of emotional bonds. Most would not expect cosmetic surgery but many would expect that if it mattered to them, their spouse would do what they could, as with any other issue that was one of importance in the relationship.

[sinner]

meanon, why do you persist in adding depth, nuance and substance to every discussion?

 

Just stop it!

[meanon]

LOL!

 

Sorry, sinner

[RowanRavyn]

 

Perhaps an alternate to this thread would be:

 

Why do men assume that things are all about them?

 

You say toMAYto I say toMAHto.

 

Or maybe we should say that unless you are rich enough to support your need for the physically perfect spouse you shouldn't be married. Over time life, genetics and gravity take a toll on a person.

 

Or find that hot little number, find a geneticist and have her cloned every few years.

 

 

And you know it also leads to the point that if only the beautiful, rich, intelligent and sound of mind mated and bred most of us wouldn't be here at all.

[havNfun]

Or maybe we should say that unless you are rich enough to support your need for the physically perfect spouse you shouldn't be married. Over time life, genetics and gravity take a toll on a person.

 

Or find that hot little number, find a geneticist and have her cloned every few years.

 

 

And you know it also leads to the point that if only the beautiful, rich, intelligent and sound of mind mated and bred most of us wouldn't be here at all.

 

would that be a bad thing?

[havNfun]

meanon,

 

your mind is sexy. just don't cut your hair LOL