loneman Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Just had a weird weekend and wanted to share it with everyone and get some opinions. Some have heard my story, but here is a quick recap. Wife left after 12 years of marriage, two kids. I found out there is OM, filed for divorce which was done three months ago. Very limited contact for the last four months. Yesterday my older son (6) had a promotion at karate and we both went. I promised the boys to take them to celebrate and she asked to come too. We went to Chucke Cheese and to a restaurant later. I took the kids home and couple of hours later she came over. Said she missed the house and wanted to spend some time with me and the kids. The whole time she was very emotional, cried a lot. Said she missed the house. Never said she missed me, but gave me a few hints that she would like to try again but right now she is confused. Wants to take it easy, build friendship first and see where it goes from there. I still do love her, despite everything she did and said. But I have so many doubts. First she did not show any remorse for her actions. She did cry and said she is sorry for hurting me. I told her the only way to rebuild the trust is for her to come clean, to confess everything. She refused to talk about it at first, then later told me that she lied about having sex with OM, it was only EA, not even a kiss. When I told her that the OM admitted to kissing she was shocked. Called him a SOB, that she hates his guts…how she does not remember anything how and why it happened. Yeah right… In a way I would like a chance for the reconciliation, but how do I get passed the lies? I do not want the trickle truth, also do not want to ruin the chance by telling her to come clean completely or else…That would just push her away, maybe. She is refusing MC or IC, for now. I am just so confused, after finally reaching the stage of acceptance she walks in my life again. I know a lot of people would give their left leg to get this chance, but I just do not know what to do. Let her go and always live with “what if”, try R and see where it goes and get hurt again? How do I get her to open up and confess so we can try to put it behind us if possible? The kids were extremely happy and kept asking if we are family again. That broke my heart, they want us together. Ugh…why is this so tough? Sorry for random babbling...I am just so confused.
road Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Just had a weird weekend and wanted to share it with everyone and get some opinions. Some have heard my story, but here is a quick recap. Wife left after 12 years of marriage, two kids. I found out there is OM, filed for divorce which was done three months ago. Very limited contact for the last four months. Yesterday my older son (6) had a promotion at karate and we both went. I promised the boys to take them to celebrate and she asked to come too. We went to Chucke Cheese and to a restaurant later. I took the kids home and couple of hours later she came over. Said she missed the house and wanted to spend some time with me and the kids. The whole time she was very emotional, cried a lot. Said she missed the house. Never said she missed me, but gave me a few hints that she would like to try again but right now she is confused. Wants to take it easy, build friendship first and see where it goes from there. I still do love her, despite everything she did and said. But I have so many doubts. First she did not show any remorse for her actions. She did cry and said she is sorry for hurting me. I told her the only way to rebuild the trust is for her to come clean, to confess everything. She refused to talk about it at first, then later told me that she lied about having sex with OM, it was only EA, not even a kiss. When I told her that the OM admitted to kissing she was shocked. Called him a SOB, that she hates his guts…how she does not remember anything how and why it happened. Yeah right… In a way I would like a chance for the reconciliation, but how do I get passed the lies? I do not want the trickle truth, also do not want to ruin the chance by telling her to come clean completely or else…That would just push her away, maybe. She is refusing MC or IC, for now. I am just so confused, after finally reaching the stage of acceptance she walks in my life again. I know a lot of people would give their left leg to get this chance, but I just do not know what to do. Let her go and always live with “what if”, try R and see where it goes and get hurt again? How do I get her to open up and confess so we can try to put it behind us if possible? The kids were extremely happy and kept asking if we are family again. That broke my heart, they want us together. Ugh…why is this so tough? Sorry for random babbling...I am just so confused. People have divorced and remarried. I support that. I will not support that for you until you get the book Surviving An Affair by Dr Harley and schedule a polygraph test for your WW. This is the only way you will get the truth. Once you have scheduled the test you tell your WW the date. As the date gets closer she will trickle truth you some, claim you now know all so no need for the test. Don't cancel. That is her plan. Say the test is still on to confirm everything.
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