My ex and i are in love but he has a girfriend, should i cut him of completely?

[cherry667]

I started dating my ex when i was 18 and he was 19. We were both in our first year of university and didn't really fit in. We ended spending everymoment together and became co dependent. We fought constantly, but could not let go of our passionate"love" for each other. I ended up living with him for two years during which time i had no friends at all besides him, gained 70 pounds in 3 months, stopped listning to music ect. Our relationship destroyed my personality completely and left me feeling like an empty shell. Even after i tried to break up with him by moving out on my own we ended up dating anyway for another two years.

 

Finnally i realised the only way to end it for good was to leave the city. I knew at the time that he only had relationships because they were convienient and i knew that he would replace me fairly quickly. It hurt but I had to do what was right for me. So I left for over a year during which time we kept in touch through e-mail ocasionally. He started dating someone else but from what i heard from mutual friends it was as i expected a relationship of convinience. I decided to move back home, thinking that I was over him. We talked on msn quite often before i returned and everything seemed great, for the first time we were getting along, he wasn;t putting me down and i wasn't even jealous of his new girlfriend. He told me I was his best friend and that he couldn't wait to see me. This reasurred me because throughout our relationship I felt that he would replace me and forget me, but the fact that he still valued my friendship was a bonus.

 

So i move back home and suddenly things are not as easy as i thought they would be. When i saw him all my feelings came back and i know it is mutual. Meanwhile his new girlfriend is freaking out because she is friends withour mutual friends and has heard all about me and my ex. In fact he has told her how amazing i was as well. Everyone knows he is in love with me still including his girlfriend. Anyway, i was dealing with it somewhat until i went to a friends house and they were there together. I had to watch them go to bed togeher and it ripped my heart out. Tonight i called him to my house and told him that we shouldn't hang out for the time being as it was hurting me and his new girlfriend. He cried and kept saying i was his best friend and he couldn't lose me. I think i did the right thing to cut off our contact for now, but i wonder if co dependant relationships can be healed. We have both changed so much since we were dating, we actually have fun together now and haven't fought once, unless you count tonight, but we didn't even fight really. Anyway I have no idea what to do. We do love each other alot, but i don't think I can be his "friend". What should i do? This situation is so messed up and being involved in it it is hard to make an objective decision.

[youcandealw/it]

it sounds like a lot to swallow.i think you should surround your self with friends and try to forget about your past relationships and you'll be a lot less stressed out.just have fun,if you can be friends without stressing over his new life i'd say go for it.if not i would encourage you to move on with your life.

[cherry667]

Thanks, i agree. I think we broke up for a reason in the first place so i need to keep moving on and ut of his life.

[EC]

I mean you never know what could happen in the future.

 

There's obviously a lot of love there and I can see it but I think you did the right thing about NC because it's not fair to his now gf.

 

Things happen fora reason and if you are meant to be in the future then this break is necessary for both of you to grow.

 

 

Walk away for now, get your personality back, and live your life w/ no regrets and no worries.

[cherry667]

yeah he is being totally unfair to me and her, you can't have your cake and eat it to you know? i feel better about my choice today. If it is meant to be it will be.