FitChick Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I have a similar problem with older men who are retired. Are they busy with a hobby, fitness or some stimulating project, or do they sit around watching TV and drinking? They have money but they are boring.
mesmerized Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 (edited) It is not an equal world. I would not expect a girl to take that guy seriously. How can they? Most women are looking for guys that can take full financial responsibility of them and possibly children. At best, some women may also bring in some money as well. Extremely few women, even if they can afford it, will bear full financial responsibility. I would take full financial responsibility. That is not a problem. I'd like women that want to be a stay at home wife/mom and is into devoting herself to family. I doubt there is anywhere close to .0001% of women that would feel the same compared to men. No such thing as a stay at home dad/husband (unless he makes money there), such a guy is seen as a loser even though his female counterpart is to be taken seriously. The world is not equal, but we already knew that. Now, would I take a 30 something girl seriously for that? Or would I ditch her. I mean, for me...it'd take at the least three years of dating and courtship to decide for marriage, probably more like 5 years. So she'd be 35+ years old...giving birth. I think I'd be better off with someone younger. Can I get someone younger? Absolutely. Plus, she is over 30, attractive...and never married? Something has to be wrong. I mean, sure....I am over 30 and never married, but I am a guy. I am expected to be able to take full financial responsibility for a family. I have only gotten better at being able to do that with age. Sure, there will come a point where I pass a line and whatever I was going to do should have already been done, but I think I still have time. A 30+ girl, I think she has passed that line for a lot of guys already that are prepared. Although, she may get lucky with those angry 30 year old virgin guys'that are short and of Indian (dot on head) decent, because they can be financially responsible as well and won't be as choosy. What a load of .... most women nowadays don't expect a man to take full financial responsibility of them and their children. Are you asian by any chance? Edited December 17, 2012 by mesmerized 3
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 Depends on where you live and whether you plan on having kids or not. In some parts of the country a couple could live comfortably on two minimum wage salaries if they didn't plan on having kids and didn't mind eating out at the Olive garden. If however you are too embarrassed to bring a guy who works at Burger King around your friends because he "has no ambition", then you should probably break up with him. I would probably be too embarassed - he keeps pressuring me to be his girlfriend. He doesn't want anything casual.
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I would probably be too embarassed - he keeps pressuring me to be his girlfriend. He doesn't want anything casual. Just remember at the end of the day, it's not what others are happy with, it's what you are happy with. Just make sure he's a man that's worth investing in, like any other. And most importantly, emotionally available before stepping out of any big comfort zones. However your concern with what other people think may hold you back from experiencing things you might have otherwise done. I think there's a part of you that doesn't really care about certain things, but you require that external validation to make it "ok".
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 Just remember at the end of the day, it's not what others are happy with, it's what you are happy with. Just make sure he's a man that's worth investing in, like any other. And most importantly, emotionally available before stepping out of any big comfort zones. However your concern with what other people think may hold you back from experiencing things you might have otherwise done. I think there's a part of you that doesn't really care about certain things, but you require that external validation to make it "ok". You are right.... I know people will think WTF and I do need that approval. He just told me that he would love me to spend NYE with him and that he has plans that are a surprise - wants to tell me what they are in person. I will try to talk to him about his career as well. Just to see how resistant he is to change...He is not dumb by any means, just very scattered and unfocused.
c57dood Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Oh yeah, so how many times has this been asked on the forum? Here's the reality. You're never going to get the full package. You might find a guy with a good paying and steady job, but chances are he will bore you. Or, you can find a more exciting, less financially secure guy who can't buy all the things you want but you like him. In other words, weigh the good with the bad. If you like him, don't nag him, but encourage his strengths. If you make him feel like a man by doing this, he will naturally want to take care of you any way he can. I think a lot of young women now a days are forgetting that men want to provide a life for you, but you have to remember to be special to him and make him WANT to do this for you. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 Yep, I have to realize that you really can't have it all. I truly want a man that will love me, be honest and treat me well. I am sick of drama. My ex had a great career, was highly educated and all but behind closed doors he criticized me constantly, never had anything nice to say and I felt unhappy most of the time. He was also an extremely conservative, closed minded and boring person. This guy is the opposite of all that. But he lacks the career. I will give it more chance to see what he is really like as a person. I am not ready to commit to being his girlfriend at this stage.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 LOL he won't tell me what he planned for us for NYE! His hint was "an aeroplane". WTF? Are we going to jump out of a plane? He is kind of crazy like that.
c57dood Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Yep, I have to realize that you really can't have it all. I truly want a man that will love me, be honest and treat me well. I am sick of drama. My ex had a great career, was highly educated and all but behind closed doors he criticized me constantly, never had anything nice to say and I felt unhappy most of the time. He was also an extremely conservative, closed minded and boring person. This guy is the opposite of all that. But he lacks the career. I will give it more chance to see what he is really like as a person. I am not ready to commit to being his girlfriend at this stage. No need to commit yet, but don't let his lack of a career NOW make you think he never will have one. If the man truly loves a woman, he'll be the best man he can be for you. Give him a fair chance, usually strong love for his woman is a man's primary motivation.
Esoteric Elf Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Yes, if I had a d*** and I dated girls, then yes. What's your point? It is not an equal world. My point spoken for me, RachR
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 18, 2012 Author Posted December 18, 2012 All you do is post negative hate about men and how none of them are good enough for you. It's pretty obvious where the problem lies. Sure, I am part of the problem...but so are men I come across.
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