Eternal Sunshine Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 What if a guy in his early 30s is happy doing casual jobs that usually people a decade younger do...and he is making next to nothing and doesn't have a plan on how to improve situation... Ditch him??
Esoteric Elf Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 What if a girl in her early 30s is happy doing casual jobs that usually people a decade younger do...and she is making next to nothing and doesn't have a plan on how to improve situation... Ditch her??
dreamingoftigers Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Both cases, yes. Life is a hard enough struggle without trying to support someone without a solid work/earning effort.
CptObvious Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 What if a guy in his early 30s is happy doing casual jobs that usually people a decade younger do...and he is making next to nothing and doesn't have a plan on how to improve situation... Ditch him?? He's finished. I don't care if he's 6"8 300lbs 7% body fat. The dude is making like $12 an hour flipping burgers... c'mon. That's pathetic. What if a girl in her early 30s is happy doing casual jobs that usually people a decade younger do...and she is making next to nothing and doesn't have a plan on how to improve situation... Ditch her?? Is she hot? I wouldn't mind renting her until she gets fat
mortensorchid Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Well remember this : if he/she is content with coasting along in life professionally, they will be ok with coasting along with just about everything else in life. I've had it proven to me time and again, and they want someone who is an even bigger loafer than they are, not a dominant force. 1
RachR Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 What if a girl in her early 30s is happy doing casual jobs that usually people a decade younger do...and she is making next to nothing and doesn't have a plan on how to improve situation... Ditch her?? Yes, if I had a d*** and I dated girls, then yes. What's your point?
Weezy1973 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 It's about compatability. If you're ambitious, it's likely you don't share the same values. If you're not ambitious, it's possible you do share the same values. I have both ambitious friend couples and not ambitious friends couples. They are good matches for each other either way. 4
TheZebra Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I'm a pretty ambitious person so that would be a complete turn-off for me.
iris219 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Lack of ambition is probably a deal breaker for me. Working a low paying job, on the other hand, is not a deal breaker. 8
todreaminblue Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 What if a guy in his early 30s is happy doing casual jobs that usually people a decade younger do...and he is making next to nothing and doesn't have a plan on how to improve situation... Ditch him?? i wonder if that goes the other way if it is a woman......i dont even know what my ambition is.......except to be happy ...money is not in that equation as long as i can feed my family and any strays........i kno if continued my education i could get a high paying career.....i prefer to think about factory work so i can spend more time with my family.....and do the things i enjoy doing..be with people i enjoy being around.....i dont know how long ill be here for it could end tomorrow for me i would prefer someone who is like me actually where their ambition is to be happy, in whatever they do even if it is two dollars an hour.......to em thats ambitious.....its about prioritising what is important.... and at the end of the day when you realize life is short...employment is second rate...if a comet was coming or a life extinction event would you be worried about ambition....or spending tiem with your family would you have regret or do you go out with a smile on your face holding onto the person who is special to you...or do you hold onto their paycheck and say crap you only earned 1200 last week i need a new car...i have had near death experiences....so i guess it gave me perspective...life is short...if it does end for me tomorrow i get hit by a bus or this heart of mine gives out which i doubt.... the people i care for have been told the people i feel for no matter how scared i was of telling them i care i kamikaze myself no matter the paycheck....they will know when i am not here ....that i cared...and it wasn't for how much they were worth on paper...they are priceless to me......ambition or ambition to care for me the same way too its an easy choice...i have always told people that i care, i go to sleep knowing that..they also know i am accident prone.....if they truly know me.......deb 1
El Brujo Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Lack of ambition shows how little a person cares about their own quality of life. It's the other side of the "would you date an arrogant snob" coin.
SmileFace Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Lack of ambition on your end. That isn't something for you to call. However it is a deal breaker since you don't seem ok to date someone who will settle for that. I wouldn't date him and I am decade younger.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 Thanks guys, I thought so.
Under The Radar Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Thanks guys, I thought so. Hey now, don't forget you PROMISED to give a garbage man a shot if he ranked a solid 80 on the Attractiveness Compatibility Scale (this means he's VERY good looking ). I distinctly remember that thread from a couple months ago. Your only requirements were that he have an amazing personality (and intellegence, of course). Let's just say even if his IQ is impressively high ... he is passionate about waste collection. If this comes to fruition, your friends here at LoveShack, will undoubtedly advise you through the courting process .
PogoStick Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 In some ways it's insulting that people are judged on their employment, especially with the bad economy. Is that a man's only meaningful quality? The girly stories talk about loving the person inside but women and men are equally superficial, just sometimes on different characteristics. Why is that the only quality the OP described when asking whether to keep him? Is he attractive, funny, athletic, thoughtful, creative, or loving? Would he be a good father? Is he loyal? Does he have your back when your catty friends attack you? I definitely think it's important to discuss ambition and life goals as part of compatibility but the OP distilled this man down to one singular measure of worth, and that strikes a nerve with me.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 Depends. Is he hot? Of course, otherwise there would be nothing to think about... Hot is not enough though. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Been thinking a little more about this.... It's unsteady income, right? That would be the issue for me, the unsteady work etc. I mean I live with that, (husband) so it's so frustrating. I wouldn't do it again. BUT if it's low-paying and steady, or high-paying and unsteady BUT he knows how to manage and square away for the lean times (i.e. Contract work) but the guy is ambitious in other regards like being active in his community/volunteering, that's a REAL catch. I am glad to say that my H is now taking further steps but since it is later in life it is a very real struggle.
Imported Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 What if a girl in her early 30s is happy doing casual jobs that usually people a decade younger do...and she is making next to nothing and doesn't have a plan on how to improve situation... Ditch her?? It is not an equal world. I would not expect a girl to take that guy seriously. How can they? Most women are looking for guys that can take full financial responsibility of them and possibly children. At best, some women may also bring in some money as well. Extremely few women, even if they can afford it, will bear full financial responsibility. I would take full financial responsibility. That is not a problem. I'd like women that want to be a stay at home wife/mom and is into devoting herself to family. I doubt there is anywhere close to .0001% of women that would feel the same compared to men. No such thing as a stay at home dad/husband (unless he makes money there), such a guy is seen as a loser even though his female counterpart is to be taken seriously. The world is not equal, but we already knew that. Now, would I take a 30 something girl seriously for that? Or would I ditch her. I mean, for me...it'd take at the least three years of dating and courtship to decide for marriage, probably more like 5 years. So she'd be 35+ years old...giving birth. I think I'd be better off with someone younger. Can I get someone younger? Absolutely. Plus, she is over 30, attractive...and never married? Something has to be wrong. I mean, sure....I am over 30 and never married, but I am a guy. I am expected to be able to take full financial responsibility for a family. I have only gotten better at being able to do that with age. Sure, there will come a point where I pass a line and whatever I was going to do should have already been done, but I think I still have time. A 30+ girl, I think she has passed that line for a lot of guys already that are prepared. Although, she may get lucky with those angry 30 year old virgin guys'that are short and of Indian (dot on head) decent, because they can be financially responsible as well and won't be as choosy.
Arasae Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 ES, are you dating my brother? ;-) Sounds just like him...
newmoon Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 What if a guy in his early 30s is happy doing casual jobs that usually people a decade younger do...and he is making next to nothing and doesn't have a plan on how to improve situation... Ditch him?? no, a guy like this is ok for dating, just not for something serious. in the long-term this erodes respect for the partner
somedude81 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Of course, otherwise there would be nothing to think about... Hot is not enough though. That's why I love you Sunshine God I wish I was hot. I would totally clean up.
mesmerized Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Of course, otherwise there would be nothing to think about... Hot is not enough though. If he has no intention to change he is not long term material. I would say the same to a guy about a girl with no ambition. Casual dating? Sure why not!
gaius Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Depends on where you live and whether you plan on having kids or not. In some parts of the country a couple could live comfortably on two minimum wage salaries if they didn't plan on having kids and didn't mind eating out at the Olive garden. If however you are too embarrassed to bring a guy who works at Burger King around your friends because he "has no ambition", then you should probably break up with him.
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