iris219 Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I've decided to stop doing anything to my hair (other than occasionally washing it). This means I let it do its thing and be frizzy and wavy and unmanageable. I figured it's not like I ever meet single men anyway, so why waste time and money coloring and styling my hair? Screw it. This also means no hair color and my natural hair color is not attractive; it's just plain mousy. It's not blonde, it's not brown, it's just blah. It's no color, probably best described as dishwater blonde, maybe a bit darker. My question is, do you think having a nondescript hair color could hurt me if I ever do come upon a single man? If a man saw me from across a room it's not like he could think, "Check out the hot blonde" or Check out that brunette" because my hair isn't either color. Could this potentially hurt my chances of attracting a man?
MrCastle Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 The color is not what's killing your chances. It's the energy you give off and the way you style (or refuse to style) your hair. I approach women who look presentable. I assume women who don't put effort into their appearance are either taken or don't want to be approached. In any event, whether they'd like to admit it or not, they are giving off the vibe of "stay away from me" If you put effort into doing your hair, men would be more likely to approach you. But it's a catch 22 cycle. It's "I never find single men" and then "Single men never approach me". If you put effort into your appearance, you will break the cycle. 2
sweetkiwi Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I am a hair stylist. You must do something to your hair. Its not wasting money. Its investing in your looks. There are endless products and color services for your hair type. Don't give up!!!!!!
Anela Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I barely do anything with my hair. I used to fuss over it, but I can't be bothered anymore - other than massaging in canned coconut milk, a while before I wash it. Use the hair dryer on it, with a thin towel covering your hair, then wash it out. It gives my natural colour a boost (my hair used to be almost black, but has lightened naturally, over the past few years). 1
yongyong Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Do you know how you can tell if the woman is at certain social class level? Look at her hair. (other things are teeth, skin, just whole face, body shape etc)
Author iris219 Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 The color is not what's killing your chances. It's the energy you give off and the way you style (or refuse to style) your hair. I approach women who look presentable. I assume women who don't put effort into their appearance are either taken or don't want to be approached. In any event, whether they'd like to admit it or not, they are giving off the vibe of "stay away from me" If you put effort into doing your hair, men would be more likely to approach you. But it's a catch 22 cycle. It's "I never find single men" and then "Single men never approach me". If you put effort into your appearance, you will break the cycle. While it's true I don't make a lot of effort, I'm always one of the better looking women wherever I go. I live in a small town, so it's not hard to one of the most attractive women in the room. I'm always dressed fashionably (more so than most where I live) and I'm naturally attractive. I'm low maintenance, but I'm always presentable. Sometimes I wonder if I do give off negative energy though. I am a hair stylist. You must do something to your hair. Its not wasting money. Its investing in your looks. There are endless products and color services for your hair type. Don't give up!!!!!! Do you believe some people's natural hair color is just ugly and should always be colored?
Author iris219 Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 I barely do anything with my hair. I used to fuss over it, but I can't be bothered anymore - other than massaging in canned coconut milk, a while before I wash it. Use the hair dryer on it, with a thin towel covering your hair, then wash it out. It gives my natural colour a boost (my hair used to be almost black, but has lightened naturally, over the past few years). Coconut milk? I hadn't heard of doing that. I use it in my smoothies all the time though, so I will try it. I use coconut oil as a hair product and a body moisturizer. Love that stuff. 2
sweetkiwi Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Do you believe some people's natural hair color is just ugly and should always be colored? Not at all!!! I am growing my mousy brown hair out. Before it was black. Then blue. Then blonde. I don't think anything is wrong with natural hair. I even like grey hair. But. Most peoples natural hair could use some improvements. Especially in a transition phase of growing it out. What is your skin tone like? Eye color? Those play big parts in hair color. Generally people look best with the hair color they had as a child. And the frizz can certainly be helped. That's not cute unless you like a fro.
xxoo Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 My question is, do you think having a nondescript hair color could hurt me if I ever do come upon a single man? If a man saw me from across a room it's not like he could think, "Check out the hot blonde" or Check out that brunette" because my hair isn't either color. Could this potentially hurt my chances of attracting a man? He'd probably think something like "Check out the woman with the amazing legs". 1
DC4 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I hate to say looks don't matter, but honestly they do. Whatever your hair color is I'm sure it's just fine-but as already mentioned do something with it! If I'm just around the house I pretty much look homeless. If I am going out, I definitely fix my hair. How can someone take me seriously if I appear to not take myself seriously enough to put some effort into my hair? It takes me 10-15 tops
Author iris219 Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 Not at all!!! I am growing my mousy brown hair out. Before it was black. Then blue. Then blonde. I don't think anything is wrong with natural hair. I even like grey hair. But. Most peoples natural hair could use some improvements. Especially in a transition phase of growing it out. What is your skin tone like? Eye color? Those play big parts in hair color. Generally people look best with the hair color they had as a child. And the frizz can certainly be helped. That's not cute unless you like a fro. I was blonde as a child. I have pale skin and green eyes. The coconut oil does tame the frizz. I've had every hair color, from blonde to red to dark brown (never blue though!) and it all looked fine. I've been so good about retaining my anomynity on LS, but I can send you a pic of my hair if you'd like to give your opinion. He'd probably think something like "Check out the woman with the amazing legs". Yeah, he's probably not thinking "That girl needs some caramel highlights!" 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 The way you describe you own hair sounds like you have negative feelings about it, and about how it makes you look (even though you go on to say you are very good looking in a later post). Anyway, the attitude about it surely comes across to others. Personally, I love to "do something" with my hair because I like to enjoy the way I look … myself. I'll probably be coloring my hair when I'm 90. 2
xxoo Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Yeah, he's probably not thinking "That girl needs some caramel highlights!" And if he is, he's probably gay Can you find an example on the web of hair your color and texture?
Author iris219 Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 The way you describe you own hair sounds like you have negative feelings about it, and about how it makes you look (even though you go on to say you are very good looking in a later post). Anyway, the attitude about it surely comes across to others. Personally, I love to "do something" with my hair because I like to enjoy the way I look … myself. I'll probably be coloring my hair when I'm 90. I think I'm mostly unsure about how others view my hair color. I think the all- natural look fits my personality, but I also don't think that I convey my personality well because people are surprised to learn how low maintenance I am when it comes to my appearance. For some reason, who I am and how others view me often clashes. Personally, I don't enjoy doing my hair. It's boring and unsatisfying because I'm not good at doing it anyway. The color is the only thing I'm worried about.
Author iris219 Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 Ok. This is it. How bad is it?
xxoo Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Ok. This is it. How bad is it? It's lovely! Shiny and wavy. What's the problem? 2
sweetkiwi Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Well darling generally Im paid for a consult but i can already tell you need highlights and a toner. You need warmth in your hair unless your pale skin has a lit of pink undertones. Also it sounds like your stripping your hair while shampooing If the oil calms it. Shampoo causes the cuticle of the hair to soften and swell. It also removes natural oils "cleaning" it. Check If your shampoo has sodium laureth sulfate. If it bubbles, that's the chemical Im talking about. Get a shampoo without it. That doesn't foam. Trust me. I have crazy thick hair and i only wash it when i need to. I also don't rinse out alllll the conditioner. And then i add oil. First on the ends. Then midshaft. Then whatever tiny amount is left on my hands on the top. Try something i suggested. I am sure it'll be a big improvement. And keep me posted!!! There are also high lift colors that can take a natural level 6 (darkest blonde) to a level 9 and the toner is built in. One step. Less damaging then bleach. Your colonists will know the underlying colors for your particular hair color. But you correct red with green. Orange with blue. And yellow with purple. I just got a hair boner thanks :* 1
ThaWholigan Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Ok. This is it. How bad is it? That's just fine to be honest. IMO I love natural curly/wavy hair, perhaps much more than straight hair, so I am biased. 2
RachR Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I don't dye my hair either. Once in awhile I'll have a woman, like my sister who does hair, try to get me to do highlights. But guess who've told me I shouldn't mess with it? Men. And it's just a light to medium brown color with some natural highlights mixed in, nothing special imo. I like it so I don't touch it.
Author iris219 Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 It's lovely! Shiny and wavy. What's the problem? That's just fine to be honest. IMO I love natural curly/wavy hair, perhaps much more than straight hair, so I am biased. Thanks guys. That's makes me feel better about the style and texture, but I'm still worried about the color. Well darling generally Im paid for a consult but i can already tell you need highlights and a toner. You need warmth in your hair unless your pale skin has a lit of pink undertones. Also it sounds like your stripping your hair while shampooing If the oil calms it. Shampoo causes the cuticle of the hair to soften and swell. It also removes natural oils "cleaning" it. Check If your shampoo has sodium laureth sulfate. If it bubbles, that's the chemical Im talking about. Get a shampoo without it. That doesn't foam. Trust me. I have crazy thick hair and i only wash it when i need to. I also don't rinse out alllll the conditioner. And then i add oil. First on the ends. Then midshaft. Then whatever tiny amount is left on my hands on the top. Try something i suggested. I am sure it'll be a big improvement. And keep me posted!!! There are also high lift colors that can take a natural level 6 (darkest blonde) to a level 9 and the toner is built in. One step. Less damaging then bleach. Your colonists will know the underlying colors for your particular hair color. But you correct red with green. Orange with blue. And yellow with purple. I just got a hair boner thanks :* Wow, thanks! I bet you're a great hair stylist. I only shampoo when needed as well. My hair is very dry and looks better a little dirty. So I need 1. a better shampoo and 2. highlights. I'm not sure what high lift colors are. I guess toner goes along with highlights? So, in your opinion, I'm probably not one of those people who can get away with their natural hair color? 2
sweetkiwi Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Wow, thanks! I bet you're a great hair stylist. I only shampoo when needed as well. My hair is very dry and looks better a little dirty. So I need 1. a better shampoo and 2. highlights. I'm not sure what high lift colors are. I guess toner goes along with highlights? So, in your opinion, I'm probably not one of those people who can get away with their natural hair color? If that's you in the picture its a beautiful color and texture. Highlights are tricky. And expensive. And will dry your hair. If you were my client id give you a fine weave focusing around your face and fading to less intensity as i reach the crown. I would lift you with a high lift color. Generally color only lifts up to 2 levels of natural hair. High lift color can lift 3 plus it lifts and tones in one swoop. In the sunlight, take a mirror and look at your hair. I bet its not as mousy, ashy, as you think. Peoples descriptions of color vary significantly. A good colorist will leave you looking natural. Like you spent a month in the sun instead of got a highlight. A lot of these "natural" blondes are getting a weave but its not nearly as obvious as the brunette with white chunks in her hair. You feel me? I specialize in short hair. Punky colors. But half my clients were very sexy women who need very sexy hair. And i think we can all agree that sexy is soft and natural (looking).
Author iris219 Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 If that's you in the picture its a beautiful color and texture. Highlights are tricky. And expensive. And will dry your hair. If you were my client id give you a fine weave focusing around your face and fading to less intensity as i reach the crown. I would lift you with a high lift color. Generally color only lifts up to 2 levels of natural hair. High lift color can lift 3 plus it lifts and tones in one swoop. In the sunlight, take a mirror and look at your hair. I bet its not as mousy, ashy, as you think. Peoples descriptions of color vary significantly. A good colorist will leave you looking natural. Like you spent a month in the sun instead of got a highlight. A lot of these "natural" blondes are getting a weave but its not nearly as obvious as the brunette with white chunks in her hair. You feel me? I specialize in short hair. Punky colors. But half my clients were very sexy women who need very sexy hair. And i think we can all agree that sexy is soft and natural (looking). That's me in the pic. I hope you're right about it not being as mousy as I think. I'll catches glimpses of myself in the mirrors at the gym and cringe. Maybe I'm just not used to it being this dark. I'm thinking, if it doesn't look too bad, I'll just leave it alone and decide if I want to color it in the summer.
xxoo Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Thanks guys. That's makes me feel better about the style and texture, but I'm still worried about the color. As a dating issue? Seriously? If you are as pretty and fit as you describe, that hair color isn't going to be an issue. You don't have to be magazine perfect to attract a man.
sweetkiwi Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 That's the problem. Gym mirrors. They use those distorting mirrors that make you look chubby and have green hair. Kidding. Inside lighting is a terrible indicator of color. Also, i might get in trouble for this from the California state board, BUT. If you put lemon juice in your hair while laying out your hair will gradually lighten itself cool right. Acid man. Good stuff. If your hair starts to get red. Stop. But realize that natural hair goes through several colors before turning yellow (blonde). Thanks for letting me flex my hair brain 1
Author iris219 Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 As a dating issue? Seriously? If you are as pretty and fit as you describe, that hair color isn't going to be an issue. You don't have to be magazine perfect to attract a man. I'm quite fit and I'm cute, but I'm not hot and it sure feels like I need to be hot to attract a man. There are so few single men where I live and lots of single women. The men here have their pick.
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