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Falling for mate


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Posted

Hi there,

 

After wracking my brains trying to work our what to do I'd like to get some other people's opinions.

My bestfriend from since 5 yo until now 22 is a man called Matt. Through all are teen years he had a massive crush on me, but I didn't feel the same. Then I moved to Leeds and we lost touch for about a year. During that time we both had serious relationships. I happened to move back a couple of months *after he split with his girlfriend and we immediately started hanging out again. I realised that i sort of had feelings for him. Then we slept together and have done several times since and stayed friends. But now I have really fallen for him and have no idea whether he's still at all interested. He's always said I'm the girl he wants to be with over everybody else, but it's like maybe cos I've made it so clear in the past he's given up. Another girls after him and he's said he doesn't like her anywhere near as much as me. But it's like he's not looking at me as an option now, he still seems to adore me but it just seems that he's accepted it.

 

I dunno what to do. Should I tell him how I'm feeling and risk ruining the friendship? I'm worried he'll freak out. Should I wait and see if it just develops? I sort of feel I need to get my feelings out there though. I know he's not after relationships at the mo, but I don't want to lose him cos I don't say anything. I don't know how to tell him.*If he had feelings for me before could they have disappeared? Has he just accepted he'll never have me?

 

This is taking over my mind. Any advice would be very helpful.

T xx

Posted

Don't wait!

 

If you really do want him, then tell him.

 

Tell him now, in no uncertain terms,"Matt, I love you and I want you."

 

Risk it. It's worth knowing either way. Why let him think that you're so-so into him and risk his finding another girl! Risk it all!

 

Good luck!

Posted

You may not find out without asking, but it may carry a risk.

 

No easy answer! I've been there, I think you can kid yourself about the other's feelings- both ways.

 

Carpe diem!

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Posted

Thank you! I've been feeling that's what I have to do since talking about it etc. It's the only thing il feel right doing, otherwise I will feel regret. Now I'm just stuck knowing how to do it. I feel I have to do it face to face but to meet up is difficult to arrange as were both working full time. And then would we literally meet and I'd have to just say it and leave quickly so he can think. It would be very awkward and embarrassing, but maybe it's something I have to do. Or should I do it be email or text? And then at least I don't have to see him if he freaks! There's no easy way to just drop it in to conversation)

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