acheybreakey Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I have been going through a rough break-up now for just over 3 months. I keep initiating NC but then having such a hard time sticking to it. I go through these phases of feeling so sure that I am better off in life to so positive that we can work things out and be happy together again and oh my goodness what have I done telling him I can't have him in my life when he is everything I need in life... My question is, how do you stay strong? How do you tell yourself that you are better off having this person out of your life and actually believe it? My ex cheated on me and lied to me repeatedly, and even with all of that... I still can't get rid of this feeling in my gut that he is the right person for me and that if we talk enough he will change. I know that he won't change. I think if I take him back I will be filled with insecurity that he is going to cheat on me again... but my heart still wants him. How do I make it shut up already? I have tried exercising, dating other people, going on vacations, changing my hair, working harder, going out with friends and so many other things and none of it makes me miss him or want him less... So far nothing has worked to make me really truly feel like I am better off without him. Advice? Thanks
na49 Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 You were meant for your ex just like the rest of us were meant for ours. The reality is that we obviously weren't, so we need to get out of fantasy land and into the real world. I think the reason why you are having trouble moving on and staying strong is you are still convinced this person was "the one". He was NOT. He freaking cheated on you and lied to you! (I know the feeling though, I still have feelings for my ex even though she cheated on me and lied to me) It's hard to accept that the person we love, hurt us and no longer wants us. But they did, and they aren't sorry. You may just not be ready to move on yet if you've tried everything and it hasn't worked. It's different for all of us. The holidays aren't making moving on any easier for any of us, but we've got to keep going and not let this beat us.
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