confusedgal Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Hi everyone.. I need some advice please. I'm going to try to make this short. I had a serious relationship for 2 and a half yrs, first real love, and it was a roller coaster ... we had our good times but our bad times were like hell. We fought like no other over stupid things, he would always get mad at me for some reason or another.. he was a very jealous guy... Anyhow I used to ball my eyes out over him and then one day I just stopped talkin to him. After we broke up we were friends wif benefits, then friends, then nothing...we got into a fight and he hung up on me sayin he was done talkin... I even saw a counselor because of him, everyone said that he was manipulative and verbally abusive I didn't realize it till now, years later now that I'm older .. (I'm 21). Well he called me out of the blue to see how I am doin and stuff.. the problem with this is it's always a pattern with him! He hangs up, wont' talk for months, then comes back.. and for a stupid reason I allow him to and talk to him.. All of our conversations seem to be about the past and how we loved each other and cared. Then down the line, he'll start criticizin me for drinkin too much and partying or he'll ask me how many guys i have slept with.. Let me just say that all my friends and fam hate him with a passion.. and his friends don't like me either! they all think i'm a liar and a cheat, and mine think that he's a a**h*** who abused me to make him feel better about himself. My question... do you think that I should talk to him, maybe he has changed? A part of me knows that the only reason I am having conversations with him is because I miss him or actually miss having a connection with someone.. I dont' know what to do? I do know that it would hurt my fam if they knew we were speaking...
princess75 Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Please, don't be with this guy. It is not good to be in an emotional roller coaster. Besides once you start the pattern, it is uncontrollable. See my other postings, it can turn quite horrible. I myself, might be in an emotionally abusive relationship and I am denying it to myself as y are. But I have quite a few things to resolve b4 I move on, and I am much more mature than you are. Not that it is an excuse to be in the relationship at all, but that is myself, denying it again. Better stick to healthy loving relationships. Get love from friends and family members. And ask yourself why u feel unloved by them that u need approval from a guy. IF you don't feel good in a relationship, then you are not ready. And trust me at your age that is pretty much normal, so go out have fun. And enjoy. There will still be time to tie yourself down some guy. Also, know yourself better to know what you can and are willing to take out from a relationship.
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