Casablanca Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 So breaking up with my girlfriend of a year today got me wondering about the topic. Every serious relationship, every woman I've been in love with, it has always been me who ended it; granted I've only had 4, but that is still 4/4. There was always something that caused an issue and it wasn't just me getting bored or anything, but I am curious about how often a woman ends a serious relationship if there has been no abuse or cheating? I've been dumped, but it has always been after a month or two if it got that far.
mesmerized Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I don't really think its gender related. Though recently it seems like a lot of times women break it off because the guy doesn't want to put the ring on it. So even though it looks like the woman broke it off it's actually the guy who did...
newmoon Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 in my own case (i'm female) the more casual (3 months to 1 year) relationships are the ones that i end; the longer (1 year +) relationships the guy breaks it off. the longer it goes on the less inclined i am to leave, whereas the guys seem to still be 'judging' me enough to end it
naviis Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Mhm... I think it's the other way around for me. Relationships under a year were generally broken off by the guy, whereas I was the one who ended the longer, more committed ones.
MrCastle Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I don't think you can look at this in terms of gender. It is purely individual. Some people are just bad at relationships. Either they have fidelity issues, or they try to be too controlling, too jealous, trouble with communication, commitment phobia, etc. Those people will continue to be the ones getting dumped. I've noticed break up stats aren't really 50/50. You either dump more or get dumped more. No matter what side of that line you fall on, you have to do an introspective look and figure out why that is. 3
naviis Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I don't think it's gender related either. I think it's more that the dynamic from one relationship to another is always essentially the same, as people tend to date in patterns. 1
Badsingularity Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 From what I've seen and the research mentioned about who initiates most divorces ,it is women who end the relationships far more often than men. I don't think women are wrong of bad for this and I could probably explain the reasons for why it is this way, but that would take a few pages of text.
goldengirl11 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I've never been the dumpee. What's your secret? 1
mortensorchid Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I've always been the dumpee, and that surprises me. I hear men complain all the time that women break it off with them, but I have never once encountered that in my life. I did have one years ago who tried to act all weird and unreasonable so that I would get frustrated and dump him so he wouldn't look like the villan, but he ended up cutting the cord of which he probably still feels guilty of (he did it via email btw). I think once you have hit a year and a half/two years it's really in the man's court at that point, but then again I am from the old school. It has to be his decission, not mine, to take it to the next level - and if you pressure someone into doing something they don't want to they will forever resent you for that. Unfortunately for me, I find a lot of them end up resenting me because I stayed in the fold for so long when it was actually their doing that ended it. But then again, they weren't good people to begin with.
Author Casablanca Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 I don't think it's gender related either. I think it's more that the dynamic from one relationship to another is always essentially the same, as people tend to date in patterns. Very good point, I didn't think of it that way
Pyro Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Here are a few facts about how male female relationships usually work: -Men are slower to commit, but more committed once they do. -Women are quicker to commit and also quicker to stray or lose interest. This is why over 70% of divorces are initiated by WOMEN. Thanks for your OPINIONS If women initiate divorce more so than men take into account that a percentage of them initiate due to abuse, discovered affairs, or the guy would rather stay in a bad marriage rather then divorce and possibly have to pay child support. Just because she initiates doesn't mean that the man is the victim. 3
sweetkiwi Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 What's your secret? Knowing what you want and walking away when you realize that relationship isn't it and there's no working together to make it better. 3
Author Casablanca Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 Thanks for your OPINIONS If women initiate divorce more so than men take into account that a percentage of them initiate due to abuse, discovered affairs, or the guy would rather stay in a bad marriage rather then divorce and possibly have to pay child support. Just because she initiates doesn't mean that the man is the victim. Agreed Also at least for the women I've been with, sleeping with them always brought them closer to me where sex didn't really add another level of emotional attachment...but I guess every woman is different I think it comes back to who we date like someone else pointed out. I do tend to go for a certain type of woman
Pyro Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Those were not my opinions. Those are facts. Women fall out of love faster than men in general. They want commitment more, but they want out of it earlier. Women are hypergamous, not monogamous by nature. Look it up if you don't have the education to know off the top of your head what it means. Support your facts. Your lying mouth isn't enough. 2
Million.to.1 Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I have always been the dumpee in my 5 LTR Except once. I have been left for another woman every time. Not cheated on, but someone else was on then scene and my ex's were always in a new LTR within a few weeks. Not one of them had the balls to own up to the real reason. It's always "i just need to be single" or some other lame excuse. For some reason, in their heads, if a man hasn't actually physically cheated, then it's ok to blatantly lie to my face about the reason why it's ending. Guess my "pattern" is spineless serial monogamists. 1
Pyro Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 That's like asking me to support the fact that the sun is bright. Any fool who isn't blind can see it. Prove me wrong or move along. Off you go. Most people here know that you are FOS so say whatever you want to say.
mesmerized Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Those were not my opinions. Those are facts. Women fall out of love faster than men in general. They want commitment more, but they want out of it earlier. Women are hypergamous, not monogamous by nature. Look it up if you don't have the education to know off the top of your head what it means. I don't think you know what "fact" means....and I'm not surprised. 1
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