USMCHokie Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I guess that's true, but what about when you limit it to social circle? There is no one like me in my personal social circle and a lot of the connections I've made are with people (men and women) who tell me "you're different" The problem comes when people become so consciously focused on being "different" only because they're otherwise so unremarkable that they base their entire state of being on "being different." Like I said before, it's a method to boost social value.
edgygirl Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Bs. Most people who have non mainstream tastes are not forcing it. We were born like this and can't help it. It's just who we are. People who are mainstream just don't get it simply because they are not like that. I wish I was more mainstream, would make my life easier. The problem comes when people become so consciously focused on being "different" only because they're otherwise so unremarkable that they base their entire state of being on "being different." Like I said before, it's a method to boost social value.
todreaminblue Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I denounce non conformists that are anti anything popular as much as I denounce people who blindly follow anything popular. I think both sides try too hard to portray an image. The non conformists try too hard to be different, the sheep try too hard to be liked and fit in. I think a balance is needed and uniqueness has most definitely helped me in dating because I'm not like most men. Not in terms of some of my interests, but just my personality in general. Part of that is because I'm creative, and creative people just see things and react to things differently. So I come up with creative dates or express my affection in creative, often theatrical ways. This has set me apart from other men and my guess is why I'm successful. If a girl wanted a taller man she certainly wouldn't have to look very far. Same with a muscular guy, more financially independent guy, etc. She picked me because my personality is my bread and butter. i agree being unique is a balance....i like some popular music .....i like the lyrics......i wont fit in mainstream though because i also like daggy cheesy power ballads i also like 60s surf music because it has wicked drums.....i dont think im a classic woman but sometimes i like to dress in a suit .........i want fluro socks and t shirts to come back in because i like the brightness....i dont like to be told to conform or else......i do seek acceptance....because i want to eb accepted for who i am....doesnt mean i should have to change my core or my heart if i like something i want people to understand thats what i like and not try and change me....everyone is unique....i dont think i am any different or better than anyone else.....deb
movingon12 Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I think the ideal is some shared interests and some completely different interests. You need *something* that you can do together that you enjoy. But also remember that what you like changes - particularly when you're in a relationship. Your partner will introduce you to new things and may change your mind about them. I have no interest in football. None. But my husband loves to play, and I love to watch him. But I still have no interest in watching it on TV, so when his team is playing (which is rarely, fortunately) he'll watch it with his friends. We both love music - though different types. But as we've been together I've discovered that actually I like some of the music he loves, and vice versa. There are things we share with each other, and there are other things that we only share with our friends. It works well. 1
Woggle Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I don't go out of my way to reject mainstream stuff but the public these days just seems to have crappy tastes. I don't care one bit about Real Housewives or the Kardashians and I am proud of the fact that I never owned anything made by Britney Spears, One Direction, Justin Bieber or any of the other processed pop acts.
USMCHokie Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Bs. Most people who have non mainstream tastes are not forcing it. We were born like this and can't help it. It's just who we are. People who are mainstream just don't get it simply because they are not like that. I wish I was more mainstream, would make my life easier. It's not necessarily one's particular interests and whether they fit into "mainstream" or not...it's moreso those who make a concerted effort to ensure everyone knows how "different" they are. They feel that they are special solely because they are "different"; but the truth is, there's plenty of other people who are just as "different" as they are. Just a drop in the bucket...
Pompom Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I think that people who go out of their way to show off their uniqueness, are either self-conscious of whatever makes them unique, or they're actually vapid and boring. 4
El Brujo Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I think that people who go out of their way to show off their uniqueness, are either self-conscious of whatever makes them unique, or they're actually vapid and boring. Like I said, there's a very real difference between nonconformists and people who try hard to pretend they're nonconformists. One thing's for sure though, if there were more men like me, there would be even more women complaining they couldn't find a good man than there are now...
Zed Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 People are not as "unique" as they'd like to think they are. It's simply the ego trying to raise one's social value. I agree. I see it too many times about people who often loudly profess their uniqueness but who end up being quite boring or are justas mainstream as those they eschew as too trite . In our wired world, unique and"eclectic" tastes are now pretty normal, but our individualistic culture likes to tout the fallacy that everyone is a special kind of eccentric. Maybe it is just human nature, but what should be unique, is having independent tastes while still being able to get along with others without rancor. 1
GirlontheLam Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I am a little weird. I like pop music and lots of mainstream tv and movies, but my favorite music is a bit weird. It means I tend to have similar music taste with some DJs and Brits. I get super excited when I meet people who like my favorite bands, it is like *bonus points* for me. But in terms of music taste/etc, that isn't a hinderance. I have more issues for certain people, because I don't actually match there stereotype of a black woman. So I just avoid those people. I think most people have a period where they "come into their own" per se. For me it happened the summer before my senior year of high school, where I met a bunch of people more like me at summer camp. It was a great experience because no one thought I was weird, not even the boys! Unlike when I was at my high school. When I got to college, this feeling of "my weirdness is OK, and actually awesome" helped me be more comfortable being a bit more "upfront" about my true self. Even now, I am a little "unique" but we all are in one way or another. I'm not going to lie, I do get a little excited, even now, if I find out you like my favorite bands. But if you don't, I'll be making you a playlist (or mix CD). 1
newmoon Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 personally, i think uniqueness is wonderful and when someone - male or female - has a passion that is outside of the norm it's interesting to hear about and learn about. but, when they get so obsessed with a specific niche/hobby that they aren't in touch with current events and people, then the conversation dries up pretty quickly. it reminds me of those jeopardy contestants who can answer all the questions on the board except the Pop Culture category; it's like they've holed themselves up to such a degree with their own unique stuff that they have no clue what is going on in the outside world. so, not necessarily be general in your interests, but be well-rounded enough to carry on a conversation with anyone about anything - if you can hold a convo without mentioning your unique thing, even better! 1
todreaminblue Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I don't go out of my way to reject mainstream stuff but the public these days just seems to have crappy tastes. I don't care one bit about Real Housewives or the Kardashians and I am proud of the fact that I never owned anything made by Britney Spears, One Direction, Justin Bieber or any of the other processed pop acts. i feel sorry for the kardashians......never really watched real housewives....the one time i flicked over they were getting drunk and acting stupid....bought back memories of immaturity...but......love the song beauty and a beat......justin beiber....britney spears is getting her act together(i think) which is good to see, one direction i am glad my daughter listens to that and not what she was listening to last year and some processed pop acts come up with just one song with lyrics that cross over and a beat that sticks in yrou head gives you bounce to your day.....deb
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