azgirl Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 This one is kind of along the lines of the previous post by batitm. It is kind of a long story so I decided to post a new thread. Here it goes: I have a friend that I have been friends with for four years now. First met her when I moved out here. We were very close for the first year because we lived in the same apartment complex. We spent a lot of time together. She is 42 and I am 27. Not a big deal - I get along well with all different types and ages of people. Then I moved into a different apartment with a guy that I was dating at the time. We kept in touch, but didn't see much of one another. I had a lot of crap going on in my life and he was pretty controlling and thought that we were "trouble together." Whatever. He was a huge idiot and waste of time. About a year ago, I moved back to that complex and in with a friend. I started dating a guy (the man of my dreams - we are breaking up right now, too) who also lives in that apartment complex. Anyway ... things went back to the way they were between us. We had dinner together almost every night - alternating sharing the cost of food, beer, cigarettes, etc. Then at Thanksgiving, my boyfriend and I were house sitting for his friend and decided to have people over for dinner. She and I cooked - he was working and then people started showing up. (It was also his birthday.) Well, everyone started drinking and she got wasted and made an ass of herself and I had to take the heat from my bf and his pals. She got really rude and obnoxious. Had drank with her plenty in the past and hadn't seen this type of behavior. She feels a little high and mighty because of her age compared to the rest of the people there and got condescending and rude with one of my bf's friends. Anyway, left a bad taste in my bf's mouth and he told me that he disliked her and was uncomfortable around her. I let it go between my friend and me because she a) doesn't usually behave that way and b) was really drunk. In fact, I didn't mention it until months later when a similar incident occurred when my bf and I moved in together and we had people over to celebrate. Later I mentioned to her that she was disrespectful toward him at our house and that he was upset (again she had been super drunk.) Her basic attitude was "well, I am 41 years old and deserve respect in the presence of younger people. he just needs to get over it." In a nutshell that was what she said. Now, keep in mind - when I first moved back there (August 2003) she was unemployed and had been for almost a year. Had little money to support herself and her son. But we did what we could for each other. At Christmas, she did not have enough money for a tree so I bought one so that her son would have a Christmas tree for his presents. Then in January, she went back to work and couldn't afford child care so I watched him - for free until she could afford to pay me. 3 to 4 nights a week for about 4 hours depending on when she got home. Finally, in March she was able to start paying me. No big deal, as far as I was concerned. Fast forward to the middle of June. She took me with her to a company trip to the lake. Everyone was drinking - I took it easy until afterwards. We had people come over to her house afterwards and I, as well as everyone else got really, really, drunk. I, this time, acted like an idiot. And apparently embarrassed her in front of her co-workers. I thought she overreacted a little, but understood that this was how she felt and apologized up and down. However, she did two things at this time that infuriated me. 1 - She made a comment about me "walking all over her." I wrote in a letter explaining to her that it hurt me that she said that because of the many things I had done for her in the past. 2 - I also mentioned the times where her drunken behavior had put me in a bad position and she completely blew that off as well. As if it was ok for her to get drunk and act like an idiot, but when the tables were turned, then ... F me. Also, at this time, she told me that her son's father who loaned me money wanted it back. But, the way she stated it was this "You owe me $200." I said, "For what?" And she said, "For the money X loaned you." Ok. Well, here is the deal - that was an arrangement HE and I made which had nothing to do with her. And - I have seen her operate where $$ is concerned and would not put it past her to take money I give her to pay him and run with it. So ... after some heated letters back and forth and some time, we (me being the first to cave in and try to make ammends) started hanging out again. Right when we did, she met a man. No big - she would spend a lot of time with him and it didn't bother me. Then about two and half weeks ago, we met for happy hour. Cool. The following week, a friend of mine was moving out of state and it was her last night in town (different girl.) So we had plans, naturally. Then, the friend in question here called and told (yes TOLD - that is how she is) me to call her and let her know where we could meet for a bite to eat and some drinks. I returned her call and told her my friend and her brother were on their way to my place and I would have to take a rain check. When she got home, she came up to my apartment, knocked once, then walked in. She sat there with us, discussed her evening plans with her man, then left. I thought everything was cool. After that, she stopped calling me and when we would run into each other around the complex, she would be sugary sweet - ridicuously overly nice, but not really say anything important or try to have a conversation. At this point in time, I had NO idea what the hell I had done now to piss her off and honestly - stopped giving a sh*t. The night her son came home from back east with his dad, she called me twice, but I didn't hear the phone. I called her back left her a message and she never returned my call. Just continued to be fake when we would run into each other. Last night, she called and left me a message about how X had asked about me and she told him what was going on and he wanted to know if I "paid her back yet." Her??? I don't owe the money to her, in the first ****ing place. I get some student loan money back soon and I told him when we made the arrangement that I would try to pay him back sooner, but at the very latest would do so when that money came in. Then she called my phone today from her office and left another message about it. Now ... her son has been back for over a week. His father was in town for that night. Why didn't she just leave me a message regarding this when he was here. And why is she talking about me paying HER back!!!!! I left a message on her home phone informing her of when the money is coming and that I will leave a check for HIM for her to send onto him when I get the money - in like a week and a half. And then, ladies and gentlemen - I am done with this person. Also, like you other posters - she ALWAYS acts like she is better than me. Because she has a boyfriend now, because she is older than me, because she is working out now and lost a little weight. She is also one of those people who is never really listening when you are talking, just waiting till you take a break so she can interject and talk about herself. Ugh! I put up with it for a long time but, no more! There is no reason to keep people in our lives who create drama, make us feel like sh*t and are self-centered ass*****! I would welcome any advice on how to handle any more contact with her and how to handle the money situation. I have a feeling she is going to try to demand cash. At which point in time, I will tell her that the ONLY way I will do that is if she has X contact me to verify that she paid him for my debt and that I in turn owe her the money. What do you all think??
batitm Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 This woman sounds INCREDIBLY almost UNBELIEVABLY immature. I would say you're best course of action is: 1. Pay back "X" in person yourself. He most likely is not all that concerned or in a rush to get the $$ but by paying him back you'd actually be doing yourself a favor. (If she insists that she already paid him back for you then tell her you never asked her to so she should go to him to get her $$$ back) 2. If you do go out with her and her friends/coworkers make it a point to drink only a couple of drinks if any at all to be certain that you are the model friend. 3. If all else fails and she does not quit harassing you, go out with your other friends, and your bf, leave her at home.
Author azgirl Posted August 13, 2004 Author Posted August 13, 2004 Yes batitm - I am finished with this individual. She is acting incredibly immature. She left me a message last night informing me that she "will take $100 from me this month and $100 from me next month because X wants her to put it toward her child care." ??? WTF?? If that is how he wants it handled, then I want verification from him! So, I am going to leave her a message today telling her that he needs to contact me and let me know that this is how he wants it handled and giving me HIS address so that when I do write her a check, that I can make a photo copy of it along with verification once it has cleared that she has indeed received the money and the debt is absolved. I wouldn't put it past her to take the money and tell him that I never paid her! She is very shady when it comes to money. I think that is the best way to cover my ass. I just am appauled at how people can turn on others so quickly. I have never met more people of poor character than I have out here compared to where I grew up. These people (my bf, soon to be ex included) will turn their backs on you in a heart beat!!! It boggles my mind! I thought I was a good judge of character, but apparently I am not. It sucks. I am really starting to lose faith in the human race! I want to get this handled and NEVER speak to her again.
Recommended Posts