yongyong Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 The guy is stupid. I wouldn't even do this at a bar. He could just flirt many girls to create jealousy among girls. But asking them out after one another is just plain stupid. This is why I like to go to big bars. In a small bar, if I approach couple girls, they can see what I am doing. It will raise the red flag. What I do is perfectly normal for guys at a bar though. we are just looking for a decent girl for a bang, not looking for a Miss right we've been waiting for several years. Women want to feel special. they lose interest if they realize 'this guy is talking to me after failing at that girl. What am I? a second option?' 1
TheZebra Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Women want to feel special. they lose interest if they realize 'this guy is talking to me after failing at that girl. What am I? a second option?' Exactly. Why do you think women love stories where the male protagonist is this mysterious loner guy who talks to no one, except the heroine who gets in there and gets his attention? That's pretty much Edward from Twilight right there... And it looks desperate too. I would rather be alone than be with someone I don't like. There's nothing worse than a bad relationship. 1
phineas Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I've asked out zero women at work initially. Yet i've been out with more than a few. That guy is doing it wrong. All it takes is one woman in the office to want you (providing you aren't a total creep) & before you know it a handful more are coming around also.
ThaWholigan Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 (edited) I've asked out zero women at work initially. Yet i've been out with more than a few. That guy is doing it wrong. All it takes is one woman in the office to want you (providing you aren't a total creep) & before you know it a handful more are coming around also. Dat Pre-selection theory How is it anything but a numbers game? I never said it wasn't. I just view it very differently - in the way that there are large numbers of women out there and I prefer to pick and choose which ones I like to go and ask out rather than frenzy attack large multitudes of them until I get a yes . Edited December 16, 2012 by ThaWholigan
123321 Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I've asked out zero women at work initially. Yet i've been out with more than a few. That guy is doing it wrong. All it takes is one woman in the office to want you (providing you aren't a total creep) & before you know it a handful more are coming around also. Step 1: Bring your hot date to the office .... after that it's all automatic.
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 As for the sex thing, you're a woman and don't understand how men see sex, especially men that have sex very infrequently. Believe it or not, many of us women who have been in relationships have a great understanding about how men see sex. Just ask our husbands / boyfriends. How is it anything but a numbers game? Why not stop being deliberately obtuse. Lots of people are NOT asking out masses of people until one of them, any one, accepts. I am not saying it's wrong to do that, but it's not really that common of an approach. Plenty of men and women respond to being attracted to an individual person. 2
somedude81 Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 (edited) Believe it or not, many of us women who have been in relationships have a great understanding about how men see sex. Just ask our husbands / boyfriends. You seemed to have missed the very infrequently part, unless there are women out there reading this that are making their man go without sex. Edited December 16, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
somedude81 Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Some of us, but not all of us. Well played Getting back to the topic, it's too bad that none of the first few women accepted the date. A lot of rejections really does lead to a downward spiral. It would have been great if one of the women realized that the guy is probably feeling bad and at least give him a pity date. But odds are he'd might try to take it too far.
TheZebra Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 somedude, I think you need to have a talk with the single guys I've got my eyes on. They're in their late 20s early 30s and are super picky - and I'm a good looking chick right out of college! To relate to the rest of the topic though, I think if you ask women out like salespeople do cold calling you're just going to find rejection most of the time. The best way to get 'sales' is to focus your pitch on specific targets and pursue those rather than just throwing out pitches to everyone.
yongyong Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Are you talking about this kind of phenomenon? Even below average looking women get enough attentions online Even average looking guys have very hard time online Then you are wrong. it's not about the amount of attention they get. Well to make things fair, being born a man comes with the added chance of greatness. It does come with a cost though, if you miss the genetic lottery, you're ****ed. It's much better to be female if you're average or below. It startles me to consider what I'd do if I had the choice of selecting my birth gender. It could be something like this: males: 20% chance of high quality life (great looking, rich, exceptional intelligence etc). 60% chance of mediocrity (similar to mean female life quality but certainly harder and with more pitfalls. Must prove himself otherwise falls into bottom category. 20% chance of **** life due to genetics (may however work to escape this category and move into the middle group). Females: 80% chance of average life. 10% exceptional (models , promo girls , beautiful women , intelligence ect) 10% ****ed. the main difference between the average female and male classes is the fluidity of the male status. He can fall into the lowest class (losers) if he fails.Essentially men are tasked with proving themselves just to be average. An average women must merely be born.
SJC2008 Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I wish guys who do this could grasp what a turn off it is when girls realize they have no discerning taste whatsoever. In terms of efficiency it may seem like a good dating strategy, but it definitely backfires once girls get wind that they're just a number. I wish women who don't understand, understand that when a man keeps getting rejected he has to resort to this. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Before I met my ex, our mutual friends already told me about him as "the guy that is super picky and rejects everyone". I was intrigued. That was one of qualities I respect. There is no bigger turn off than a desparate guy
somedude81 Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 somedude, I think you need to have a talk with the single guys I've got my eyes on. They're in their late 20s early 30s and are super picky - and I'm a good looking chick right out of college! Well good for them, the guys that do very well with women can actually afford to be picky. They are either picky in who they date, or they can sleep with every one. They have that choice. I don't. Neither does the guy in the OP. The best way to get 'sales' is to focus your pitch on specific targets and pursue those rather than just throwing out pitches to everyone.Tried that on many different girls over the years. It has a 100% fail rate. All it makes me do is get too attached to the girl and when the ultimate rejection comes, I get crushed. No thanks.
yongyong Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I see you as a 'putting a pussy on a pedestal' type guy. What you do is every time you meet a woman, you give them an application and you hope that you will be hired. If that's your mindset, live like that rest of your lives. Why can't you be the selector? Sure when it comes to sex, guys are more interested about it and we have to wait till she says Yes. But it's not about just having sex. Ask many women if they feel like they have an advantage in dating. I am sure they will complain like guys. Guys will offer things to attract her (having sex) but how many are really interested in her as a person? I say women are selector before having sex. But after sex, guys become a selector. I'm not sure what point you are trying to make. What is not fair about this situation? Women are inundated with 100's of unsolicited requests for relationships from men ,who are on the whole not attractive. Women are on average a lot more attractive than men. These men are rejected, and rightfully so: because women when given numerous options will be picky and choose the best partner they can possibly get. What exactly do you want these women to do? Furthermore, you seem to lack a understanding of some of the basic concepts of biology. Yes, being the selector is an advantage - when choosing a mate. but this is for a reason and comes with a hefty price. Women and most females of all species cannot afford to simply mate with unbridled freedom like males can. this is because they invest the most in mating. for human females this can mean a 10 month pregnancy, where she is vulnerable and requires support. its impossible to tell who really has the best deal in dating. fairness is not a word that is appropriate to use in this context. Both genders have benefits that are intrinsic to their particular gender. Try relating to women as human beings.
Snowman219 Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 It's a mostly female office, so that's about 10-15 girls. The other day at lunch he came up in conversation, and every single one of us had stories to tell of him creeping on us, often refusing to take "no" for an answer. The sad thing is he's decent looking and could probably get a girlfriend if he didn't creep girls out with his desperation. A few days ago he confronted me because he could tell that he was making some of his coworkers uncomfortable and wanted to know what was up. I told him that it was because we found out from each other that he had asked out every girl in the office. His response was that girls are "stupid bitches" and "sorry, I'm a guy, that's what guys do." He also told me that all of us were annoying for various reasons. I wish guys who do this could grasp what a turn off it is when girls realize they have no discerning taste whatsoever. In terms of efficiency it may seem like a good dating strategy, but it definitely backfires once girls get wind that they're just a number. So...he asks one girl out and he can't ask another out ever again? Here's a news flash, you aren't interesting at all, and neither are they. He's just looking for a girl, and I bet if he only looked at the hottest girl in the office you'd have a problem with that too. I bet deep down you gotta thing for him. Just get a room already and get down to business.
phineas Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 somedude, I think you need to have a talk with the single guys I've got my eyes on. They're in their late 20s early 30s and are super picky - and I'm a good looking chick right out of college! To relate to the rest of the topic though, I think if you ask women out like salespeople do cold calling you're just going to find rejection most of the time. The best way to get 'sales' is to focus your pitch on specific targets and pursue those rather than just throwing out pitches to everyone. Late 20's Early 30's their usually looking for someone to wife up & how hot you are isn't as important as how smart you are & your earning potential. Not many men who make average money want someone who isn't financially secure or responsible. Plus, how you treat others at work matters & any reputation & attitude. If you go around at work with the attitude of "i'm a good looking chick & I know it" men see that & it's a turn off because it gives the impression that looks are all you have to offer. I work with a lot of women like this & I usually disregard until they learn to be more humble and show me they have interests other than shopping & milking drinks off chumps at bars.
phineas Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 (edited) Step 1: Bring your hot date to the office .... after that it's all automatic. So much this. Except I used to hang out with another single mom who was smoking hot. We did kid things together & a higher up from work saw us together & when I said she was "a friend" & not my wife, that co-worker got VERY flirty. Nothing drives a co-worker crazier than me NOT hitting on them when I see them out & instead hitting on other women or having other women hit on me. Then they will try to flirt with me in email, ect & keep mentioning that time we met out & how funny I was ect. I don't flirt over corporate email so it goes nowhere. But I know what their hinting at. For some reason women at work seem to think I spend my free time with attractive women playing the field. Now, I never talk about other women at work & when people ask me my plans for the weekend or what-not my response is usually something with my kids, working on my house, ect. so I'm a lot more boring than they think I am LOL!. Edited December 16, 2012 by phineas
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 (edited) I wish women who don't understand, understand that when a man keeps getting rejected he has to resort to this. They might understand why he feels he "has to resort to this." That won't make it work, or in any way attractive to women, though. A guy asking out 100 girls in the hope that eventually, one will say yes, is probably doing more to help himself get over fear of rejection and giving way too much power to it than he is helping himself to actually get a date. Hopefully, after he goes through that kind of exercise, he'll be more capable of actually approaching a girl he really is interested in. Women and girls like to feel that a guy is asking them out because the guy thinks she's attractive and special - not because he's desperate to get sex, ANY sex. Probably only an equally desperate girl would respond to this - probably a girl who the "desperate" guy did not find attractive enough to include in the wide net he cast. Edited December 16, 2012 by Mme. Chaucer 1
GirlontheLam Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I had one of these at work one time. It did escalate into all kinds of ridiculous behavior. Enough stories to fill up an evening. But the most hilarious one I will share revolves him showing the women (and some of the men) in our office a pic of him dressed something like this: http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2253/2325059478_88cdbcdd3c.jpg And for Halloween one year he wore a too small wetsuit. To work. Just the wetsuit. None of this helped his cause in getting a date.
dreamingoftigers Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I had one of these at work one time. It did escalate into all kinds of ridiculous behavior. Enough stories to fill up an evening. But the most hilarious one I will share revolves him showing the women (and some of the men) in our office a pic of him dressed something like this: http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2253/2325059478_88cdbcdd3c.jpg And for Halloween one year he wore a too small wetsuit. To work. Just the wetsuit. None of this helped his cause in getting a date. Oh gee, why not?
phineas Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Oh gee, why not? His spear fishing gun was too small?
GirlontheLam Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Oh gee, why not? His spear fishing gun was too small? He always came across as sleazy, desperate and sketchy at the same time. I am always skeptical of men who make it known immediately that they have a fetish for ethnic women. This guy? Well he lead with: "Hi my name is Joe, I am divorced and have 2 kids." Then pulled out pics of his kids. Kid # one (ex-wife) was black/white mix. Kid #2 was asian/white mix. And followed up the kid pictures with, I am so lonely sometimes. This was all in the first 3 minutes of starting at the new job...... He spent all of his time hitting on the "women of color" at the office. And then telling us about his weekend "exploits." Oh and don't forget, he owed back child support. He was a real winner. So it really didn't matter what he was packing.....
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