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Guy at work has literally asked out every single girl in the office, why?

tuxedo cat

By tuxedo cat,
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tuxedo cat

tuxedo cat

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It's a mostly female office, so that's about 10-15 girls. The other day at lunch he came up in conversation, and every single one of us had stories to tell of him creeping on us, often refusing to take "no" for an answer.

 

The sad thing is he's decent looking and could probably get a girlfriend if he didn't creep girls out with his desperation.

 

A few days ago he confronted me because he could tell that he was making some of his coworkers uncomfortable and wanted to know what was up. I told him that it was because we found out from each other that he had asked out every girl in the office.

 

His response was that girls are "stupid bitches" and "sorry, I'm a guy, that's what guys do." He also told me that all of us were annoying for various reasons.

 

I wish guys who do this could grasp what a turn off it is when girls realize they have no discerning taste whatsoever. In terms of efficiency it may seem like a good dating strategy, but it definitely backfires once girls get wind that they're just a number.

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Eddie Edirol

Eddie Edirol

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Well number one he is clueless if he asks you why and then scoffs off your answer. Number two he is an idiot for not even thinkin that you girls would tell each other that he has hit you all up. Work is a captive group and you could ask out a couple, but not ALL the women, good lord.

 

What I hope is that he was just ego bruised when he responded to you that way, and he realizes he is wrong. otherwise he is extremely stubborn, and couldnt even realize why the ladies are creeped out by him.

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gaius

gaius

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It's a good lesson for some women as well. It's a big turnoff when a women will give her affection to just any old guy. Save it for the ones you really value.

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xdahliax

xdahliax

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It's sad to say, but I think it can be an easy trap to fall into (especially if you work with a lot of attractive people). Whether you like it or not, you see these people every day and can become attracted to a few of them at different points in time.

 

The problem with him asking out so many women is not that he's interested, it's that he clearly didn't seem to think about how that would make him look professionally or otherwise. I'm a woman and I find many of my coworkers attractive, but I know that I have to stop myself from showing interest because of how it'll reflect on me. No one wants to me the centre of office gossip. Because he doesn't seem to think about any of this, I would just chalk it up to him being a little bit weird. His comment about women being bitches, in a professional setting of all places, confirms that.

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MrCastle

MrCastle

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Well it's hard for desperate people to not act desperate. His reaction wasn't very mature, though. Surprised he said what he said and burned his bridges. I'm sure that's going to make the work experience very awkward.

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somedude81

somedude81

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Wild guess: He wants a date.

Ding ding ding!

 

OP what do you expect the guy to do? Ask out one girl and then give up when she says no?

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Ross MwcFan

Ross MwcFan

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Ding ding ding!

 

OP what do you expect the guy to do? Ask out one girl and then give up when she says no?

 

Give up on asking out all the other girls in the office within the next few weeks? Yes.

 

Give up asking out girls in general? No.

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TheZebra

TheZebra

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If he's gonna ask out people in his office then he needs to be a little selective at least... I work with a ton of guys but would only ever ask one of them out (and he's married, so in conclusion I'll ask none of 'em out). If you ask out anyone with a pulse you're gonna get labeled as desperate

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newmoon

newmoon

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we have someone like this in the company; he's not in my office, but has asked out over 9 women in the office he's in. the word gets around between women when a guy is doing this. he's obviously not selective and is just trolling for dates

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Imported

Imported

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He probably doesn't get much female interaction other than at work. Usually I see this with married dudes. They are the biggest "flirts" with women at work.

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iris219

iris219

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OP what do you expect the guy to do? Ask out one girl and then give up when she says no?

 

No, but I don't understand how anyone could possibly have a connection with and be attracted to all 10 men/women they work with. It's a statistical impossibility.

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somedude81

somedude81

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No, but I don't understand how anyone could possibly have a connection with and be attracted to all 10 men/women they work with. It's a statistical impossibility.

WTF is a connection?

 

Seriously, waiting for a connection is BS.

 

Every single girl I thought I had a connection with rejected me. That applies to the most recent one as well.

 

Whether the guy feels a connection with the girl is irrelevant. All he can do is try and find the girl that feels a connection with him, and hopefully he's at least half way attracted to her.

Edited by somedude81
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iris219

iris219

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WTF is a connection?

 

Seriously, waiting for a connection is BS.

 

Every single girl I thought I had a connection with rejected me. That applies to the most recent one as well.

 

Why would you ask out someone you don't connect with in any way? :confused:

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somedude81

somedude81

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Why would you ask out someone you don't connect with in any way? :confused:

I edited my post.

 

BTW, that guy in the office, most likely he felt a connection with the first, and possibly the second girls he asked out. After they rejected him, he just started playing the numbers game looking to see if any one would bite.

 

That's how dating works for a large number of men.

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somedude81

somedude81

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You have a choice to not do things that you know will turn women off.

What does it even matter?

 

Go back to what I said about the guy in the office.

 

After he was turned down by his "favorite girls" the only thing he could do was ask out everybody else. Sure it didn't have a big chance of success, but still better odds than giving up.

 

This is the situation I'm in. After I don't get the specific girl I want, I'll settle for a girl.

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iris219

iris219

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What does it even matter?

 

Go back to what I said about the guy in the office.

 

After he was turned down by his "favorite girls" the only thing he could do was ask out everybody else. Sure it didn't have a big chance of success, but still better odds than giving up.

 

This is the situation I'm in. After I don't get the specific girl I want, I'll settle for a girl.

 

The only thing he could do was ask out women he didn't really want to go out with? Going out with any girl is better than no girl at all? That makes no sense.

 

I just don't understand why you'd want to go out with a girl who you feel you have to settle for. Wouldn't you rather be single than go on dates with women you don't like and aren't all that attracted to?

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Mme. Chaucer

Mme. Chaucer

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The only thing he could do was ask out women he didn't really want to go out with? Going out with any girl is better than no girl at all? That makes no sense.

 

Well, there is an awful lot written here and elsewhere on the Internet advising guys that "it's a numbers game" and that they need to keep trying until they succeed in getting a date … any date.

 

It's probably not bad advice for guys who are paralyzed by shyness, fear of rejection, or other social discomforts around asking girls out. Asking out a whole office full of them might defuse all that somewhat.

 

It won't endear him to the girls when they start talking about it amongst themselves, though.

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somedude81

somedude81

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Well, there is an awful lot written here and elsewhere on the Internet advising guys that "it's a numbers game" and that they need to keep trying until they succeed in getting a date … any date.

 

It's probably not bad advice for guys who are paralyzed by shyness, fear of rejection, or other social discomforts around asking girls out. Asking out a whole office full of them might defuse all that somewhat.

 

It won't endear him to the girls when they start talking about it amongst themselves, though.

It doesn't hurt him either.

 

As I said before, giving up, as in not continuing to ask out women in the office, is a guaranteed way to fail.

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rocketman122

rocketman122

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The guy is persistent and I give him credit for getting rejected so much and just staying at it. it takes a lot of guts and heart to get shot down over and over and come back for more. good for him. keep your chins up guys. those that say no..their loss! nothing wrong with him, its all the snobs biches. if he's good looking, take the time to know him before judging him. you woman are the losers, no the guy.

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ThaWholigan

ThaWholigan

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A lot of guys have a variation of the scarcity mentality (dat PUA lingo), where they subscribe to the numbers theory, but it becomes an "ask out any girl until one says yes" kind of thing. And yes, some guys feel they have to do this to get any kind of attention from women.

 

He was a little silly to do it in an environment like the workplace, and then to get mad about it afterward was a bitch move.

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