princesjasmyn214 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Hello everyone, thank you for taking time to read this and hopefully respond. I have been in different long term relationships for 9 years. All those relationships were terrible and toxic. This is the first time I've had enough time in between relationships to actively date. I've been single for 8 months, and it's terrible and exhausting! I've come across guys who liked me, but I didn't like back. Men who had red flags every where like they were in a marching band. I met this one man 5 months ago who I liked and really liked me. I thought he liked me too soon too fast. I wanted to take my time before I got caught up in a whirlwind. I told him I wanted to date around though I reassured him that he I REALLY liked him, because I did. He was the best out of everyone, I was too scared to admit it though, especially since he lived a bit away. 3 months into him and I dating, he started to pull back/lose interest. I talked to him about it, he said he felt hurt and unwanted. I almost died knowing I caused him that pain.The thought of losing him hurt like hell and so I told him that I wanted to work on something with him, and only him. He agreed to give it an honest go but by this time he must have lost what he originally felt. For the past month I felt his disinterest. Though he never said it to me when I had asked him, things definitely changed. We did the whole make up to break up thing for a month, break up initiated by me, and I was also the one asking for forgiveness. I was just so confused by the, what seems to be, lack of interest that I didn't know where I stood. Two weeks ago we had an honest conversation and I laid it on the line and he still wanted to try working on it. I broke it off with him a week ago, I didn't know what else to do. I was the one now feeling unwanted and it pained/stressed me everyday. I miss him like crazy but I'm worried that I couldn't redeem myself. I would like to give each other space for a few months and then try to contact him again. Also, when I broke it off, I had asked him why he didn't just tell me he lost interest. He said "You're the one obviously not interested. You broke up with me I didn't do that to you". I e-mailed him a couple days after the break up to let him know what I felt during the months, and to get it off my chest. He hasn't responded and why should he since I broke up with him. I'm so upset with myself for letting this one get away. I feel as though maybe I shouldn't have broken it off and maybe I should have been more patient with him. It's so hard to find someone who you like and likes you back. I don't buy the whole "plenty of fish in the sea", there's fish out there, but not many great catches. Could I re-visit the concept of dating him in the future? My questions... Is interest something you can't get back? Should I leave this man "The One That Got Away" alone? I'm upset that he hasn't tried to get me back.... So many questions and no answers...
Axee Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 The momentum was lost so things went downhill. I can understand his and your situation perfectly well. So right now,just stop begging him to come back etc etc... Whats done is done and give it time say a couple of months and then you can re initiate again ,but gently but that time be sure about him ...
flitzanu Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 three months is a small amount of time. that's also just enough time to "try someone out" and see if things fit. maybe you two just didn't click so he lost interest.
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