Marek Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Seriously, my college days, obtaining my university degree, and teaching myself German and Spanish were FAR easier than dating. I just don't understand how the "game" works. I've had dates this year from girls I met on Plenty of Fish and not one date lead to a second. I make too many social gaffes and I'm not learning from them. I try to be "me", but being "me" is a bumbling, self-conscious shy person. I'm 28 now and many people my age are getting engaged or are already married. I don't really have a social circle, and that in turn is reducing my exposure to potential partners. Sometimes I feel as though no girl will like "me" for "me". A bumbling socially inept guy isn't really something females lust for. It's been bad; I haven't had sex in over 4 years now. Do I become more proactive in regards to looking for women? I've tried the most I can with online dating, and that's never worked out. What can I do?
zebracolors Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Cool to meet another language learner! I want to start learning Spanish:) Anyway, I've heard one definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. I think you've partially answered your own question. If you've found that online dating just isn't getting you anywhere, then you need to get into some social circles. You can meet people face to face, who are into the same things as you, like the languages you're learning, or whatever you do as hobbies for fun. Don't worry about meeting a girl yet. You'll just drive yourself crazy trying make something happen. Doing this will help you to feel relaxed around people, and you'll get more at ease when interacting with them, and perhaps make less social gaffes. And maybe you'll make friends who will maybe introduce you to their cute single friends, and so on;) You'll have to be pro active in looking for these groups, as you know the most about your area. I suggest trying "MeetUp dot com" but whatever you try you've got to put in as much effort as you can. Best of luck.
IT Geek Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 I've pretty much determined that I'm undateable, so I'm going back to school to get my PhD. That will keep me occupied for a couple of years.
veggirl Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 If you are a bumbling socially inept guy, you should be working on asking girls out in real life, not relying on OLD. It will help you build social skills and I can't imagine an awkward guy on POF getting much action considering most dudes in general don't seem to get much action on OLD. You don't necessarily need a huge social circle but can't you join a meetup group or something like that? I think you need to focus on meeting girls in real life not on the internet. Where do you hang out? Do you like sports? You could watch football games at sports bars on Sundays (sunday funday!). If you are doing work or something at night, take your laptop to a coffee shop?
jcrew11 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Seriously, my college days, obtaining my university degree, and teaching myself German and Spanish were FAR easier than dating. I just don't understand how the "game" works. I've had dates this year from girls I met on Plenty of Fish and not one date lead to a second. I make too many social gaffes and I'm not learning from them. I try to be "me", but being "me" is a bumbling, self-conscious shy person. I'm 28 now and many people my age are getting engaged or are already married. I don't really have a social circle, and that in turn is reducing my exposure to potential partners. Sometimes I feel as though no girl will like "me" for "me". A bumbling socially inept guy isn't really something females lust for. It's been bad; I haven't had sex in over 4 years now. Do I become more proactive in regards to looking for women? I've tried the most I can with online dating, and that's never worked out. What can I do? Haha, being "me or be yourself" is the worst idea or advice anyone has given. It only works if you are a suave, charming, funny guy. Women only say that because they don't want to meet fake cheating players. Just be a "better version of yourself" and someone women would want like the "hot actors in the movies." Be cool, funny, interesting, charming, caring, flirtatious, smile, laughing, self-confident, assertive, mentally strong. Worst case scenario, just try to talk about sex as much as possible, since that is probably something you want. Otherwise, why are you going out with this particular girl.
jcrew11 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 I've pretty much determined that I'm undateable, so I'm going back to school to get my PhD. That will keep me occupied for a couple of years. Did u ever try joining a yoga class? lots of women and it will change your mental and spirtual outlook.
Esoteric Elf Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 "Anyone who says they understand quantum physics doesn't really understand quantum physics"--Niels Bohr, progenitor of quantum theory and modern atomic structure. [start thread derail]What kind of physics/quantum topics do you do research (are interested) in? [/end thread derail]
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