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Tonight is the night - what to expect ?

shame_on_me

By shame_on_me
in Infidelity

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sweet_pea Established Member

sweet_pea

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You're "hoping" huh?

 

Dang, I didn't even catch that! I guess that sums everything up, huh?

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Realist3 Established Member

Realist3

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What is wrong with him hoping it ends tonight? Back in in the original thread it was scheduled to end in February, so this is a rather sudden change of direction. It has been very obvious he is torn between what his mind is telling him and what his heart is telling him. No one can tell the future no matter how much they try and sculpt it.

Furious Established Member

Furious

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The big break up...a splash of drama....it's essential in an affair and feeds into the heightened emotions...text book

 

Yes..no...goodbye my love...it's over...I'll always love you...it's the right thing to do...we are good people, we must part for the greater good...our children, let's not forget the children...we are selfless, we will deny our own happiness for the sake of others...blah...blah...blah

 

See you next week:D

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sweet_pea Established Member

sweet_pea

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Saying he hopes to end it and saying he will end it are completely different things in my opinion. That's what I was getting at in Alice's post.

 

Hoping to end it (to me) = not making an effort to end the affair. And that if he "tries" to end it, if it doesn't work out, then oh well! I tried my best!

 

Willing to end it (to me) = making sure it ends, putting in effort for it to end, making sure its done.

 

But hey, that's just me....

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shame_on_me Established Member

shame_on_me

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Ha ha ha is this the "perfect little wifes club" on here this evening .... think on that :rolleyes:

  • Like 1
sweet_pea Established Member

sweet_pea

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Ha ha ha is this the "perfect little wifes club" on here this evening .... think on that :rolleyes:

 

Most definitely! In fact, I need to renew my membership :rolleyes:

 

Shame, you put your business out there, don't get mad because people aren't patting you on your back for being a martyr and giving up your looooove.

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Furious Established Member

Furious

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Ha ha ha is this the "perfect little wifes club" on here this evening .... think on that :rolleyes:

 

Just think your wife might soon become a member to this club:D

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shame_on_me Established Member

shame_on_me

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Most definitely! In fact, I need to renew my membership :rolleyes:

 

Shame, you put your business out there, don't get mad because people aren't patting you on your back for being a martyr and giving up your looooove.

 

 

Im not mad in the slightest i find it highly amusing that you all think you are above us "cheating" husbands, that everything is our fault ... oh no no do not disturb the "perfect wife" syndrome.

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sweet_pea Established Member

sweet_pea

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Im not mad in the slightest i find it highly amusing that you all think you are above us "cheating" husbands, that everything is our fault ... oh no no do not disturb the "perfect wife" syndrome.

 

Uh... As far as the cheating goes, well, that is your fault and you even said so yourself on your last thread....

 

But whatever helps you sleep at night/justify your action/whatever. I don't have to live with the consequences.

ThatJustHappened Established Member

ThatJustHappened

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Im not mad in the slightest i find it highly amusing that you all think you are above us "cheating" husbands, that everything is our fault ... oh no no do not disturb the "perfect wife" syndrome.

 

Why are there quotation marks around the word cheating? What would you call it?

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woinlove Established Member

woinlove

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Im not mad in the slightest i find it highly amusing that you all think you are above us "cheating" husbands, that everything is our fault ... oh no no do not disturb the "perfect wife" syndrome.

 

Not sure where you are coming from with this comment, but I think many of us would be even harder on ourselves if we brought lies and deception into our homes, with our spouse, children and all we treasure the most. It is completely up to you if you like this kind of lying and if you feel good about it. Personally, I think most people are happier living more authentic lives and it feels better looking into our spouse's and children's faces, knowing there is no big deception behind our own eyes. But to each his/her own. As long as you are satisfied with yourself, that is all that matters. Not what others think of the dishonesty.

 

And it is not the "perfect wife", it is really what kind of person you want to be. For many of us, deceiving our families in such an extensive, important way would cause us great pain, even though none of us and none of our spouses are perfect.

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wanting more Established Member

wanting more

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But it is easy to see why there are so few WS posting on this board. I started my time on here as the OW. then put my story of being the WS also. Learned quickly to stop posting those stories!!!!the few comments I make now are as the xOW.

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Realist3 Established Member

Realist3

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But it is easy to see why there are so few WS posting on this board. I started my time on here as the OW. then put my story of being the WS also. Learned quickly to stop posting those stories!!!!the few comments I make now are as the xOW.

 

There certainly are a few BS's that can be rather nasty toward WS's, but don't let it bother you. Your input is welcomed.

Furious Established Member

Furious

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But it is easy to see why there are so few WS posting on this board. I started my time on here as the OW. then put my story of being the WS also. Learned quickly to stop posting those stories!!!!the few comments I make now are as the xOW.

 

I guess so few WS's post is because they are very sensitive when their martyr act is not appreciated.

  • Like 5
wanting more Established Member

wanting more

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It could be they're just looking for advice on how to deal with the situation and how to get out of the A and within the first few replies it's what a horrible person they are for being involved in an A. The advice is always confess all, leave the trashy, no self esteem whore and beg and plead for your BS forgiveness.

(and before the comments come back to me, I fessed up everything to my BS and xMM BS, I've never wished I wouldn't have or lied about it and I'm Definately not saying "dont tell". I just think being a little more subtle in the beginning would get a lot better response then all the judging and insults and maybe more WS would be here.

 

If you're happy in an A, you wouldn't come looking for these boards for help. We're looking for support in getting to do what is right.

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woinlove Established Member

woinlove

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It could be they're just looking for advice on how to deal with the situation and how to get out of the A and within the first few replies it's what a horrible person they are for being involved in an A. The advice is always confess all, leave the trashy, no self esteem whore and beg and plead for your BS forgiveness.

(and before the comments come back to me, I fessed up everything to my BS and xMM BS, I've never wished I wouldn't have or lied about it and I'm Definately not saying "dont tell". I just think being a little more subtle in the beginning would get a lot better response then all the judging and insults and maybe more WS would be here.

 

If you're happy in an A, you wouldn't come looking for these boards for help. We're looking for support in getting to do what is right.

 

Not sure what you are referring to wanting. I just looked over this thread and looked like mostly thoughtful responses, with a bit of jostling back and forth in both directions, but not much and didn't stand out as nasty and rude. Sometimes there is more talk about how others are posting than there are examples. I really don't see this as a problem thread, but maybe if you were more specific to posts, I'd see what you are talking about.

 

As I said, what matters, shame, is what you think of your actions. Ending the affair is one good step if you don't like the deception.

  • Like 1
Spark1111 Established Member

Spark1111

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jeez, if I was an OW and reading these boards lately, I would be thunderstruck of all the male WS talking of sex, sex, sex.

 

I care for you, I love you BECAUSE, that hot affair sex if the best I've ever had.

 

Not your eyes, your face, well maybe your body, not your soul. I love you cuz it's the sex, sex, sex.

 

End it, go total NC, and when you grow bored, lonely or horny, do her a favor and do not call her.

Realist3 Established Member

Realist3

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It could be they're just looking for advice on how to deal with the situation and how to get out of the A and within the first few replies it's what a horrible person they are for being involved in an A. The advice is always confess all, leave the trashy, no self esteem whore and beg and plead for your BS forgiveness.

(and before the comments come back to me, I fessed up everything to my BS and xMM BS, I've never wished I wouldn't have or lied about it and I'm Definately not saying "dont tell". I just think being a little more subtle in the beginning would get a lot better response then all the judging and insults and maybe more WS would be here.

 

If you're happy in an A, you wouldn't come looking for these boards for help. We're looking for support in getting to do what is right.

 

 

Very true! For some reason BS's feel like they own this board. They don't.

 

As you said the advice is always the same regardless of the specific scenario. There is a gang that just repeats the same thing infinitum. You don't even have to guess.

Spark1111 Established Member

Spark1111

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And when she grows lonely, bored, and misses what she perceives to be that great, romantic connection (sex again!) don't return her text, emails,calls.

Steadfast Established Member

Steadfast

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I'm not a wife, or even a woman. But I was married to one. As much of a mess as she was (or is), she's got more integrity, courage and balls than you do. She confessed, even though she knew what would happen. We'll never be together again, but as the mother of my children I respect and back her when needed. Even after all that's happened. You don't have that.

  • Like 3
Spark1111 Established Member

Spark1111

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Very true! For some reason BS's feel like they own this board. They don't.

 

As you said the advice is always the same regardless of the specific scenario. There is a gang that just repeats the same thing infinitum. You don't even have to guess.

 

uh, this is the infidelity board. What do you expect to find here? People championing affairs?

  • Like 5
Steadfast Established Member

Steadfast

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Very true! For some reason BS's feel like they own this board. They don't.

 

As you said the advice is always the same regardless of the specific scenario. There is a gang that just repeats the same thing infinitum. You don't even have to guess.

 

Your post also follow a pattern realist. they highlight your personal agenda. That's why it's worthless.

  • Like 1
Realist3 Established Member

Realist3

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uh, this is the infidelity board. What do you expect to find here? People championing affairs?

 

There are two sides to infidelity are there not? The brow beating that goes on here by BS's deters an open and honest discussion because some are so beat down by angry BS's, who far outnumber the WS's that post, that it makes it difficult for some to open up.

 

You are stifling half of the conversation.

Furious Established Member

Furious

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What I find consistently by many in this forum is the emphasis in Honesty.

 

Some may find Honesty offensive, and feel it does not serve their predicament, and would rather continue with dishonesty to save their "marriage", but more likely it's not about saving anything but the consequences they wish to avoid.

 

Shame is saving himself and the OW and his wife have no say in the matter.

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wanting more Established Member

wanting more

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Im all for honesty. I have learned I'll never get involved with a MM again. The advice is being solicited but it sure is given in a harsh way sometimes.

  • Like 3
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