Just smile Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 I'm back.posted on here two months ago. He came back after dumping me, crying.BEGGING me for another chance , said he couldn't go one minute one day without thinking of me. I totally caved ,and went back in for round who knows. Everything was total bliss until two weeks ago. And I mean bliss.beautiful weekend trips, constant attention ( which he lacked doing previously) even the talk of therapy to make it work and stick. I believe as stated in previous posts he has a narcisstic personality disorder along w severe depression and commitment issues... Well, therapy never seemed to happen.and soon, he fell back into the pattern of mental abuse. Becoming mentally unavailable.most recently having drinks in a bar with a female old,high school friend,telling me about it three weeks after the fact which resulted in a blowout with him telling me I'm jealous, insecure and warped. Let that bull**** slide, and most recently after a beautiful weekend together, Monday he was shut down mode. Not available ,not contacting, states he is depressed ,life sucks, he's not happy,ournelationship sucks etc etc. I was stunned. Then, just like that calls and tells me he's booked a plane tix out of here to see his kid in Florida. And off he went.i flipped.i accused him of going to see his ex girlfriend who insisted on keeping in his life as a friend. He doesn't know I know her birthday is this weekend, and kind of put the puzzle together. He denies it.tells me I'm crazy and went. We , more me this time,ended it.after acting like a crazy fool, calling repeatly and saying horrible things.but this man has had me on an emotional yo yo roller coaster ride for four solid years. Anyway,I'm sad.know this feeling all to well and hate it. I actually can't stop thinking of him.i always have no problems going NC but for some odd reason he ALWAYS reaches out,I realize its a bad cycle of. Abuse. He is stuck in a loop.and I'm there with him. He takes advantage of my love and doesn't appreciate me. Four years down tube .im 44 divorced And there is no future with this man, yet I keep going back for more. Thanks for listening, I'm just hurting,
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