NateC Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 I've posted about this girl before...but now I feel like I'm ready to move on and have started dating someone now ...but still these feelings for my friend haven't gone away. A bit of back story: I met this girl in college (we were both residents) and we pretty much became friends from the first day we met. At the time she was in a relationship already, which was fine. Then...that ended. It hit her very hard and I was usually there for her (being the friend that I was). This was all good until we became really close and I started having feelings for her. So...I took the dive and told her how I felt and got rejected. We remained friends since. Fast forward to oh, 8 months later (now) and those feelings have STILL refused to go away. What doesn't help is that we've become really close and have stayed that way for a while (to a point where she'll say "i love you" to me and me back to her) but it has never amounted to anything. I still really want to remain friends, but...how do I control these feelings and keep them at bay? I feel like dating this new girl (who seems interested, but too early to tell) will help immensely, but...she as started seeing yet another guy (she was in a couple rebound FWB before this...red flags for me) and I'm still finding it hard to accept that nothing will ever happen. I guess I'm just confused and this post may also be confusing, but at the very least it's a good venting tool...and any advice from people who've gone through this would be definitely appreciated.
LoverOfDance Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Not a good idea to become that close with someone u know is unavailable except if u want to suffer. U either let your relationship with her suffer, or u suffer in it's place. My life has been filled with so much suffering ever since my dad passed and I didn't want to torture myself anymore than I already had so I let my relationship with my guy friend suffer in exchange for my own suffering. You have to choose one - You or her. Or you're going to continue to suffer. It's really hard and it's not fair but life isn't fair. Accept the situation for what it is. It's been 10 months since I told my friend how I felt. It sucks that the little friendship we had is really strained right now but It's also ok bcuz ever since I chose myself over that relationship, my suffering has reduced. Make a decision. Choose one - you or her. And after u choose, make your choice your priority.
whichwayisup Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Crushes go away.. fact is, I think you let yourself fall for her. You love her and have nurtured your feelings by having her around in your life, saying I love you back and forth - YOU take that to heart, it means something to you. But to her it's a bro/sis kind of deal, she isn't into you like that. It's really hard to be friends with someone that you're in love with. As you're finding out as long time goes along..
Author NateC Posted December 19, 2012 Author Posted December 19, 2012 Crushes go away.. fact is, I think you let yourself fall for her. You love her and have nurtured your feelings by having her around in your life, saying I love you back and forth - YOU take that to heart, it means something to you. But to her it's a bro/sis kind of deal, she isn't into you like that. It's really hard to be friends with someone that you're in love with. As you're finding out as long time goes along.. Yeah...I definitely agree. However, I think since I posted this a few events have come into play that may help. For one, she's seeing someone else. And two, so am I so...I think my feelings were amplified by feeling alone and wanting "more" from someone who wasn't available, and now that I've moved on it's becoming easier.
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