wmrjw82 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Really?! I'm dumbfounded right now. I just thought I had one of the best dates i've had in years and this girl stone walls me at the end. Backstory: We're coworkers and she just moved to my office like 2 weeks ago... we hit it off (or so I thought) and so I ended up asking her out tonight. We had a good evening and the thing that sticks out most to me was the fact that this is the first time I DID NOT drink on a first date in a LONG time. (I'm talking years)... I felt that comfortable with her. It was just nice being around her. But at the end of this great date (was it all in my head?) she tells me that she doesn't date co-workers and as I go in to lean for a kiss, she turns her head and says no. End of date. Before that all went down, I had told her that I wanted to see her tommorow, and she was like "what are we gonna do?" I said whatever you want... threw out a few suggestions.... she never gave a definite yes or no. It just went from 100% awesome to .... BOOM. Goodnight. I'm, for lack of a better word, flabergasted. WTF!!!??? If she wasn't interested in dating a co-worker, why even have the date? If it was me... well. SCREW IT. I'm not going to question anything or find out what went wrong. She can contact me. I know that for sure. I asked her to let me know if she wanted to do anything tommorow and she said she would... I guess i'll leave it at that. This could seriously go either way? Normally, I would think that she just wasn't interested, but I was getting strong vibes from her! I mean. I'm the one that led her back to her place, instead of the normal going to a bar and getting fd up...I felt like I could have easily kept the night going up till the end.
Author wmrjw82 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 Also, I haven't texted her or contacted her in any way since I left. A part of me is like...well maybe text her "thanks for a good time" or something along those lines... but another part of me is like.... well screw it...she just laid it out there for you... no reason to contact her.
KraftDinner Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 The funny thing these days is that people don't necessarily just ask people out on 'dates' anymore. She may have thought you were just hanging out as friends...? 1
whichwayisup Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Are you sure she knew it was a date? That is odd, how she did the 180. Now I'm curious as to why she did that! 1
Author wmrjw82 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 Are you sure she knew it was a date? That is odd, how she did the 180. Now I'm curious as to why she did that! yea... me too. Never even seen this crap. I mean honestly... people aren't blind...well atleast I thought I wasn't. I know when i'm having a good time and connecting with someone... she opened up to me about EVERYTHING so I assumed she was having a great time to. Never wanted to end things early, never said no to anything I wanted to do (we just drove around for another hour after we ate dinner and just talked...i mean...deep talk.)... and then nothing.
Author wmrjw82 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 would you contact her or just let it go?
D-Lish Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 I'd let it go as you've obviously left the ball in her court. 1
Author wmrjw82 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 I'd let it go as you've obviously left the ball in her court. Yea... I guess you're right. If I dont hear from her today I guess i'll know my answer either way. I swear though... it's sounds crazy...but you KNOW when you connect with someone. Best first date i've had in 10 years. And i've dated ALOT of women (not to be cocky or anything)... I just know I can read all the signs. This one totally threw me off base. Oh well.
D-Lish Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Yeah, it sounds odd, there might be circumstances you are not aware of or she simply decided that a work romance wasn't her thing. Who knows- you'll also wear yourself thin trying to come up with an answer! I once went on a date and was really feeling it with a guy- then he simply said the wrong thing and it turned me off. You never know, it could be a number of reasons. Since she said she'd let you know- you have to leave the ball in her court. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 From the sounds of things, from her stance she considered a boring date. While you may have felt incredible chemistry, she probably just wasn't feeling it. I also notice you place the plans for the second date on her court. Usually when I ask the question what do you want to do?, I expect the guy to take charge and have a definite answer for me. Men who usually reply, " up to you" give me a boring connotation. Just chalk it up to zero chemistry. The girl sounds like she's looking for a exciting guy, but she just wasn't feeling that exciting vibe from you. 2
Author wmrjw82 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 From the sounds of things, from her stance she considered a boring date. While you may have felt incredible chemistry, she probably just wasn't feeling it. I also notice you place the plans for the second date on her court. Usually when I ask the question what do you want to do?, I expect the guy to take charge and have a definite answer for me. Men who usually reply, " up to you" give me a boring connotation. Just chalk it up to zero chemistry. The girl sounds like she's looking for a exciting guy, but she just wasn't feeling that exciting vibe from you. Whoa there bud... I am Mr. Excitement, lol. This girl's Dad is a pastor and she told me at the start of the date she wasn't a big fan of drinking. I did the right thing and didn't have a drop. I'm not boring in any way shape or form and if anything I felt I held back just to make her comfortable. Maybe this will clear things up a bit more. We sat there at this restaurant and just talked about ourselves and what we want in life, etc. deep real conversation for 45 minutes AFTER we sat without even looking at the menu to order. Then talked for another hour there while we ate....The waiter probably hated our guts because we were hogging his table, but we didn't give a damn. After we ate, we just sat down and drove around for another hour - hour and a half and talked more while I showed her places around town (she just moved here)... after that, she let me come in and we hung out on her bed and just talked and talked for another 1 hour. Like I said PAL... i'm not stupid or boring, or whatever you think, and I know when there is chemistry. I just am playing it by ear and respecting her decision.
Author wmrjw82 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 and fyi... that post pissed me off enough that I just reached out to her and txt'd her everything i've been telling you folks... she replied that she felt the same way and wants to see me again! So in some f'd up way...thanks for being a dick 1
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Wait until she actually shows up for date #2 to gloat... 1
coffeebean201 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 It is a work situation, so try to manage down the pressure on the situation, so either way...you end up with a good friend. You don't want people talking about her at work - another thing to worry about. 1
Author wmrjw82 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 Wait until she actually shows up for date #2 to gloat... Wow...not gloating at all. Just happy just felt the same way about me. It is a work situation, so try to manage down the pressure on the situation, so either way...you end up with a good friend. You don't want people talking about her at work - another thing to worry about. Very true. Thanks! 1
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Wow...not gloating at all. Just happy just felt the same way about me. Wonderful that she said that! When is date#2? ...or hang out since she told you she doesn't date co-workers on your last date. 1
Author wmrjw82 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 Wonderful that she said that! When is date#2? ...or hang out since she told you she doesn't date co-workers on your last date. i'll leave that up to her. Ball is in her court. 1
Forever Learning Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Keep us posted and I hope you guys hit it off even better on date # 2. . Have fun and enjoy without getting too attached right off the bat. 1
Author wmrjw82 Posted December 18, 2012 Author Posted December 18, 2012 (edited) UPDATE - So myself, a buddy of mine, and his gf went out to a bar n grill last night so just on cuff I thought it might be a good idea to invite her out, seeing as how she's new in town and gives her a chance to meet new people too. She accepted, came out.... the whole night she was all over me. Nothing sleazy, just constantly touching me, rubbing shoulders, wrapped her leg around mine under the table, and we all just sat around and had a good time for a few hours. I dont drink and drive and I was pretty hammered by the end of the night, so I told her I was going to call a cab to take me home and she offered to drive me home...then she picked me up this morning...took me to work and then drove me back to my car (about 20 mins away) after work. The work gossip is getting to her. She mentioned that on the way out... so who knows if it will work out. I'm just kinda going w/ the flow at this point... my friend even confirmed I wasn't crazy by mentioning he saw a definite connection between us and it was pretty evident to everyone there. I guess I just gotta respect her wishes though and take it from there...? Who knows... she's keeping her dealt hand real close and I know she likes me but dont know if it will happen because of the work situation...should I just leave the ball in her court? suggestions? Edited December 18, 2012 by wmrjw82
Author wmrjw82 Posted December 18, 2012 Author Posted December 18, 2012 gonna have to bump this one....
D-Lish Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 IMO, she's "playing" hesitant- but her actions say otherwise. You really can't deny an attraction, even if you think you should. If she really didn't want to get involved, she wouldn't have accepted an invitation to go out again and probably wouldn't have accepted in the first place. I wouldn't come on too strong at this point, just invite her to participate in social functions like you did tonight and let her become more comfortable with the idea of dating a co-worker. 2
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