SoulSearcher22 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 I can't stop. It's been months since the BU. Months since we've talked. I dont even want her back, i just want to stop thinking about her. It comes in spurts. Some days, I won't. but then some days it's non stop. It's annoying. I just want to get on with my life. What are some tips and hints. I loved this person, so obviously I know it's not going to be easy.
headsashed Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 I sometimes think about my ex,its been 7 months since the BU and 5 months since we spoke,minus 1 message from her,i think its the holidays thats making me think about her sometimes. Its not often but it is abit crappy when i do. The only tip i can give is to keep as busy as possible,its all i do,the more your busy the less you will think about your ex. Im sure soon enough the thoughts will stop completely,well i hope so anyway. Will they be thinking about us? i doubt it so lets not give them the satisfaction of us thinking about them.
na49 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Well there's no way to make yourself stop thinking about her but I know how you feel. I want the way my ex used to be back. That version of her is never going to exist again, and when I see her now I don't feel anything but anger and hate. I don't wish her the best because she cheated on me and broke my heart. Why have I not been able to go a day since the BU without thinking about her? I didn't think of her this much when I was with her. Probably because I knew she was still there, so I focused on other things. Now I'm focused on the fact that she isn't here. and I hate it! The holidays definitely won't help us. Seeing and hearing advertisements about "buying things for her" annoy the crap outta me, and all of those cutesie holiday couple commercials... bleh. They probably go weeks without thinking about us, but they loved us at one point. Unless you were abusive and they hate you now, they will still think of you at some point. Will it be enough to contact you? Will it be enough for them to admit they miss you? Probably not, but don't sell yourself short. You meant something to your ex at some point. Just not anymore.
Author SoulSearcher22 Posted December 14, 2012 Author Posted December 14, 2012 na49, I agree. I hate those commericals and see those couples...lol. I'm gonna miss having someone to share these holiday's with this year. Atleast I still have family. But yeah, it's weird to think at one point they LOVED us. My ex broke NC once a month and a half after our BU and told me that not a day has gone by since we last talked that she didn't think of me. This was very misleading and led to even more anger and resentment when she vanished again. I just have a few questions I wish she would answer. WHY and HOW But hey. I've been on the prowl...I'm young and I think I'm pretty good looking. Just a matter of time before the real one comes and makes me forget I ever had this ex. Can't wait.
Harradin Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 In this boat. I can't get her out of my head, I'm trying everything. She started texting me a week after the BU and then kept finding excuses to text me for the next couple of weeks after, I got pissed off with it and tried to get her back, or make sure she had a choice. She then met up with me, cuddled me, held my hands, sat on my lap etc for a while, then told me she didn't know what to do, she eventually chose to stay with him and not been in contact since and it really threw me because I wanted closure. Instead she's been in my head ever since, but I've remained NC and not had the urge to look at her profile or anything. She has to be one to get into contact with me. There's so many things I still don't understand about the whole thing.
Author SoulSearcher22 Posted December 14, 2012 Author Posted December 14, 2012 In this boat. I can't get her out of my head, I'm trying everything. She started texting me a week after the BU and then kept finding excuses to text me for the next couple of weeks after, I got pissed off with it and tried to get her back, or make sure she had a choice. She then met up with me, cuddled me, held my hands, sat on my lap etc for a while, then told me she didn't know what to do, she eventually chose to stay with him and not been in contact since and it really threw me because I wanted closure. Instead she's been in my head ever since, but I've remained NC and not had the urge to look at her profile or anything. She has to be one to get into contact with me. There's so many things I still don't understand about the whole thing. man, thats ****ed up. Mine did somewhat the same thing, but not to that extent. When she found me at college, we embraced like we were in love still...talked for a few weeks...saw each other school every other day. then BOOM, gone again. Hate that for you.
Romantic_Lefty Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 I'm in a very similar boat Harradin, My other posts describe the long story, but i'll skip to now. She treated me bad, and forced me to leave and take other drastic measures. Now she won't even aknowledge i was an important part of her life. Example, I ran into her downtown with friends, she was able to hug almost everybody else, but when the time came amongst all this for us to at least say hi, she walked out of the bar with the person she was with. I found out from a friend she actually wanted to apologize, which led to a very long drawn out texting convo that broke my 4 months of NC, she talked about meeting and talking about things, trying to work things out, said i was still important to her, promised we would talk. But i've realized now it was all probably just lies. I know she's not busy now that the semester has ended and i haven't heard from her in a week. What i'm getting at and what i took away from this? The closure we hope for and the 'closure' we have to deal with are two different things. We just have to accept that and try to move on.
Harradin Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 man, thats ****ed up. Mine did somewhat the same thing, but not to that extent. When she found me at college, we embraced like we were in love still...talked for a few weeks...saw each other school every other day. then BOOM, gone again. Hate that for you. Its awful, but you learn a lot about yourself, and the experience makes you far stronger. I'm in a very similar boat Harradin, My other posts describe the long story, but i'll skip to now. She treated me bad, and forced me to leave and take other drastic measures. Now she won't even aknowledge i was an important part of her life. Example, I ran into her downtown with friends, she was able to hug almost everybody else, but when the time came amongst all this for us to at least say hi, she walked out of the bar with the person she was with. I found out from a friend she actually wanted to apologize, which led to a very long drawn out texting convo that broke my 4 months of NC, she talked about meeting and talking about things, trying to work things out, said i was still important to her, promised we would talk. But i've realized now it was all probably just lies. I know she's not busy now that the semester has ended and i haven't heard from her in a week. What i'm getting at and what i took away from this? The closure we hope for and the 'closure' we have to deal with are two different things. We just have to accept that and try to move on. I know how you feel, I supported/was there for her during her parent's divorce, then dumped me for my friend and then the next thing I said in the previous post before happened. Mutual friends of me and my ex told me I was far better off without her and that I deserved far better. As you say, the closure's we want and have to deal with are different and we have to move on. But these previous experiences make us far stronger and if they don't want to acknowledge us then its their loss, they will eventually regret what they had. 1
Allumere Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 I'm in the same boat as all of you. Been 7 or 8 months, its a blur, and the holidays are crushing me. He started dating someone immediately after we broke up but we remained in limited contact until recently as he went NC to focus on his relationship. The void was big enough but holidays have made it feel infinite. This time last year I was happy and hopeful and that turned into believing that I would not again be alone during the holidays. Not only had I fallen in love with a man, but one with a family (older kids) that I also loved and in my mind I grew excited about the things we would celebrate together. Hope is a f***ing destructive thing. So now I face another Christmas without someone to share it with. I can't even go into the stores or listen to the radio as all it does is make me sad. So another christmas alone and no one to share new years with....it does truly suck.
Samilia Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 I can't stop. It's been months since the BU. Months since we've talked. I dont even want her back, i just want to stop thinking about her. It comes in spurts. Some days, I won't. but then some days it's non stop. It's annoying. I just want to get on with my life. What are some tips and hints. I loved this person, so obviously I know it's not going to be easy. Date other people, be honest about your intentions, but get her out of your head.
cavalier99 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 (edited) I think of my EX daily and it sucks because I'm actually doing well after 10 plus weeks NC. She however has taken up residence in an active part of my brain i cant figure out how to format yet. I probably doesn't help that tommorow is my B-day and it will be the 1st in 8 years without her. Bi-ch! I hope she doesn't try to contact me by email. I guess i just need to go out get lit and get laid with some slutty bar ho. Oh god how far I've fallen lol ..im actually fine just weird how things change. Happy BIRTHDAY TO ME! Edited December 15, 2012 by cavalier99
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