Floop Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 (edited) I'm in a really tight spot and I need some help, thats why I've come here... I went out with a girl for three years and she finished with me, it tore me apart I spent the next 3 nearly 4 years feeling about as low as I possibly could, I tried ending it all afew times, I ended up adicted to cannabis, went through loads of anti depressants and doctors, lost my job and turned alot of my friends against me (no one wants to hear this crap) and came out the otherside pritty much a beaten person, very changed. I hardly shower anymore, have no respect for myself and my self asteam is ****e. I dont really care so Ive taken to trying to smoke myself to death. So I decided enough was enough one day when I had truly had enough and was clinging on by nothing. I pulled myself together, got a job and moved 200 miles up north (I live in the uk) to be with a friend and make some new ones. So I did it and it was fantastic... and I met a girl, amazing she was and I couldnt beleive even though I was over my ex, Ied found someone who could make me happy! I exsplained to her the position I was in very early days and she said she would make me whole again and happy. So after a year I was almost hole again I had long opend right up to her and trusted her and she held my hand every step of the way, I was just getting the hang of living life and looking after myself (Nearly) I was even trying to start cutting down on smoking. we ended up getting a house together and a dog, and I started to make the discion of going self employed, she was very supportive of me and encouraged me to do it, so I did. I went for it... Yesterday she left me, long before my bissiness stud any chance of taking off. I've lost the house we had together that ive put so much hard work into making it OUR home, I can no longer do what I set all my hopes and goals on, ive lost my dog, and I have no money. I'm at the moment sleeping on a friends couch for free. Now I face a problem... I'm not sure I can do this again... the first time stayed with me and ****ed me up I THINK perminatly as even though she made me happy and I was looking after myself, I wasnt who I used to be, I worrie now and I'm an anxious person and get stressed very easy and have become very sensativ, I was nothing at all like that in my past... I said to myself I couldnt go through this again I cant manage it... I tried everything the first time and I only managed to just about even out by taking this new leap and meeting her, witch is now distoryed as I trusted her with it.... I dont think I can do this for a second time, I need help and I need it quick before things really start to drop again. If I end up down the route I was before (this morning it all came back to me, felt like someone was sat on my chest and a milleion and one questions being yelled inside my head and my eyes full of water) I know for a fact Im not going to come out of it the other side at all... I wont even make it past rock bottom. I'm scared now as well as feeling orful and its only getting worse. I cannot fall back down the slope again I had nearly got to the top of... This one is going to totally screw me up. Edited December 14, 2012 by Floop
mlpony Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Oh, you poor thing. I am sorry that you have had your heart torn apart twice, and you are feeling so down. You sound like a very sensitive and emotional person. In a world increasingly full of machine-like people who are only valued for their productivity, you have a rare gift, but it can also be a burden. I am so sorry that she left. I think that maybe, at this time you should try to stop smoking pot. That doesn't mean you won't be able to enjoy it later, but just for now. And it might be that you should start taking an anti-depressant medication just to get you through. I know you probably don't like the sound of this, and I wouldn't think of it as permanent, but just for a couple months maybe. It sounds like these things hit you really hard. I wish you nothing but the best and I wish you a bunch of good days, just as soon as possible!!! "We need some lovin' We need it oh-so-bad 'Cause it's bad lovin', momma It's the only thing we ever had" -Hey Sweet Man, by Madeleine Peyroux
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