Forced to break up, the pain is too much

[inxie]

Hi guys,

 

any advice on my situation would mean more to me right now than you know.

 

Basically, I'm British, my girlfriend is Australian. She was on a gap year in England when we met and I fell so hard for her that by the time her year was up I decided to go back to Australia with her.

 

We both thought I would be able to stay for 2 years, however, my second year visa was recently declined and I have no option but to return home. She is enrolled in University, we both agreed she must continue her education. After several days of unbearable pain and floods of tears, I finally just booked my flight.

 

We have had the best 2 years together. She is the most amazing, kindest and beautiful woman I've ever met in my life and I literally cannot believe it's all about to end like this.

 

We have just over 2 weeks left together, and I don't know how to deal with it already. I feel like I would do just about anything for us to stay together but the circumstances just don't allow it.

 

How can we spend the next 2 weeks being so in love and happy, knowing what's about to happen?

 

How can I stop myself from becoming suicidal when I get back to the UK, and miss her more than I can even imagine?

 

Please, anyone, how can I get through this...

[Alice74]

Would you marry her, would she marry you? That would be a way to stay together.

[inxie]

We are only 20, we both agreed it's a step too far to consider that option.

 

It's definitely a fix, but we need to be rational.

[Samilia]

Can you apply for another visa from the UK, see if it gets approved then.

[inxie]

I can, but only a tourist visa. I wouldn't have enough money to support myself for 12 months.

[Bumaga vsyo sterpit]

Not sure just what you've been doing down under all year mate, apart from your girlfriend. Apparently the visa you're referring to is neither a work nor student one, so just what have you been up to?

 

In plain terms, the best thing to do is say goodbye. This should have been expected. You came to the Land of Oz neither for a job nor for studies, so your stay was never sustainable. Once you ran of quid, it would be time to run back to John Bull's arms.

 

The question of marriage was perhaps one to which you should have given more thought. True, you are little more than teenapers frolicking in the bush, but two years is a long time, and you are behaving much like a married couple already. In any case, you oughtn't give marriage its traditional gravity, as an easy half of knot-tiers these days do not. It can be a marriage of convenience, my boy! It would give your rattled brain a break from all these political matters, and allow you the same treatment with work and study as any Ocker. If while rotting in Cairo I was offered a fiancé visa by my American online girlfriend of three months, why can't you pull off the same?

 

A tourist visa would only delay the inevitable, i.e. imply another year to keep digging this nice little rut for yourself with your clingy fingers. It's time to make a decision! - shall I stay or shall I go? It's all very well with wallaby hanky-panky, but surely you can continue to have that as well as a more future-oriented existence if you decide to commit yourself to your new island.

 

Let there be no in-betweens - you know full well there's no realistic "LDR" for a 22-hour flight. If only you had found a French or Italian or even Russian inamorata, you could simply have ferried the Channel and found trains crisscrossing everywhere, or flights in the double-digit quid range. Rest assured that if you try an "LDR," it will be no longer than two or three months before your Nicole Kidman is being spooned by Nigel or Tiny or Rod. It's a relief that this option has not yet entered your sob story.

 

Not sure what you mean by "wouldn't have enough money to support myself." Is it possible you and Cate Blanchett have not been living under the same roof? You were the one to uproot - for nothing in particular - so it now falls on her sundress shoulders to try to help you out. How is it possible during all this time that her family has not offered you an attic, a basement, a nook or a cranny? Blimey mate, you'd think you'd come on a convict ship!

 

Still and all mate, I commiserate, I commiserate. I remember when I was 21 - a jaw-dropping three years ago - I had me a lass in Hammersmith, with red hair and blue eyes, albeit a stone or two too heavy, and I left University, working as a telemarketer for about 100 quid a month to one day board that flight to the Big Smoke. Never raised the brass, and she pleaded poverty after a month backpacking through Central and Eastern Europe with her Serbian-Irish girlfriend. I remember it as ancient history my pommy friend, and in time so will you.

 

Welcome home mate - in advance! Mwahahahaha!

 

P.S. If perchance you land at Heathrow, could you please tell the bearded chap with great big Latin tattoos he didn't have to frisk that Egyptian for three minutes in 2010 when it was only his Giordano belt buckle.

Edited December 14, 2012 by Bumaga vsyo sterpit

[skydiveaddict]

Please, anyone, how can I get through this...

 

Why do you have to break up? Lots of folks have to deal with temporary separations and make it work.

[Mina]

Why do you have to break up? Lots of folks have to deal with temporary separations and make it work.

This. You can get through a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) and still make it work together.

[Bumaga vsyo sterpit]

I made you a gift, mate! Check it out!

 

http://i1323.photobucket.com/albums/u594/BumagaVsyoSterpit/1_zpsbce69a7c.jpg

[Gottabestrong]

Have you considered starting a long-distance relationship with plans of visiting each other in the holidays?

 

It might not last, but it surely would soften the initial blow of the separation if you still talked/skyped/texted/etc. after you went back to England.