timchambo Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 I was dating a woman for 8 months. I would say from the first date it wasn't natural, but enjoyable. She was attractive, great sense of humor, thoughtful, generous (only to me), goal oriented. During those 8 months I also got to see her flaws too. She would degrade me on a semi regular occasion, publicly post relationship problems on facebook(!), break up over small issues (closing my facebook), and eventually physically attacked me. She had a very rough childhood which no doubt contributed to her emotional instability. I had a hard time developing the strong emotional bond to her because of the constant break ups. When she attacked me I ended things indefinitely. I wanted some time to see if once my anger and loneliness subsided giving it another shot was even worth it. Every other day (if not every) she sent texts/emails, phone calls, even showing up at my house over the next month professing her love and apologizing for what happened. Each time I asked that she stop and I will contact her when I am ready. Eventually I grew tired and numb to the situation and just stopped responding or answering the door. fast forward a few weeks and I met someone new. We met for coffee. Then dinner. This girl is beautiful, smart, sweet, fun, loves children, the kind you can introduce to your mother. The kind of girl I wish my ex was. I could tell immediately she was a better fit for me. We continued to meet and date. A month goes by and I can tell we are both enjoying each others company and feelings are starting to grow. And here I am today...posting on loveshack. The last 3 days have been torture for me. The crazy ex pops into my head throughout the day. I legitamately miss her. I dont really have any questions, I just hope this feeling of missing her goes away...
todreaminblue Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 I was dating a woman for 8 months. I would say from the first date it wasn't natural, but enjoyable. She was attractive, great sense of humor, thoughtful, generous (only to me), goal oriented. During those 8 months I also got to see her flaws too. She would degrade me on a semi regular occasion, publicly post relationship problems on facebook(!), break up over small issues (closing my facebook), and eventually physically attacked me. She had a very rough childhood which no doubt contributed to her emotional instability. I had a hard time developing the strong emotional bond to her because of the constant break ups. When she attacked me I ended things indefinitely. I wanted some time to see if once my anger and loneliness subsided giving it another shot was even worth it. Every other day (if not every) she sent texts/emails, phone calls, even showing up at my house over the next month professing her love and apologizing for what happened. Each time I asked that she stop and I will contact her when I am ready. Eventually I grew tired and numb to the situation and just stopped responding or answering the door. fast forward a few weeks and I met someone new. We met for coffee. Then dinner. This girl is beautiful, smart, sweet, fun, loves children, the kind you can introduce to your mother. The kind of girl I wish my ex was. I could tell immediately she was a better fit for me. We continued to meet and date. A month goes by and I can tell we are both enjoying each others company and feelings are starting to grow. And here I am today...posting on loveshack. The last 3 days have been torture for me. The crazy ex pops into my head throughout the day. I legitamately miss her. I dont really have any questions, I just hope this feeling of missing her goes away... she had a rough childhood......so that makes it understandable she is abusive.......maybe........ i have gone through rough times if naything it makes me more aware fo others personal space....i dotn fight in public becaue i hav eben publicly humiliated i woudlnt post nastiness on facebook becaue i have had nasty letters privately....threats.....shame....all that crap....i dotn stalk becuase i have been stalked...i think you need to own a rough past....you hav eto accept it and not repeat like it is so common to do...bullied become bullys...i am proof....that you can change an onset........sometimes you might slip up.....but its easy enough to feel what you felt and not put it onto others...one of the reasons i guess honesty and acceptance are the gifts god gave us to deal with hardship and they are inbuilt...you can actually use them to better people lives so they dont mirror your past.. feelings never truly go away they just become less fo a concern when you look ahead.....talking therapy helps feelings to find perspective and be filed away fro later use.....in a positive way..liek me feeling at the moment i cant face gym or my training...leaving soon to train..i know after though i will be ok abit beat up but ok..same deal with missing someone or seeing someone..its the dealing with that becomes a tool as well....you live and you learn adn you use what is useful file the rest away........deb
Gottabestrong Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 I think you might be about to start something new with the girl you are currently dating, but some part of you has not fully closed the door on the ex and that is coming out now. Don't listen to that part of yourself. There are tons of posts on loveshack of people who have been cheated on, betrayed, lied to, etc. by their exes and still hope for a reconciliation. It's natural to still have feelings for someone, even if they treated you badly. That does not mean you belong together though. Maybe you need to take it a little slower with the new girl, since part of you is not over the old relationship yet, but don't go back to something that made you miserable.
Recommended Posts