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height issue/breakup

justin8

By justin8
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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justin8 Member

justin8

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My ex, girl 23 is 2 inches taller than me. She was the one who got interested in me and approached me initially, though I know she didn't see a future because of height issue. Our relationship lasted 3-4 months, I got serious, and she broke up 2 months back. We still talk a couple of times a week, and I still love her.

 

It is a question to girls, would you date a guy shorter than you? Would you be willing to walk the aisle with him? Elaborate opinions on the overall issue would help. Thanks :)

Alice74 New Member

Alice74

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I'm not sure how to say that so I'm going to go ahead and say it the way I'd say it if you were my friend.. Not dating someone because they're 2 inches shorter than you is retarded..

 

Yes, I'd date someone shorter than me; and I have dated men shorter than me. My first boyfriends were a few inches shorter than me, or same height (I'm 5.7).

 

I actually like men who are a bit overweight, not like grossly obese, but let's say "comfy".

 

Everybody fights to be perfect, they don't realize than their "imperfections" can be a turn on to others.

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olivec Established Member

olivec

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My ex, girl 23 is 2 inches taller than me. She was the one who got interested in me and approached me initially, though I know she didn't see a future because of height issue. Our relationship lasted 3-4 months, I got serious, and she broke up 2 months back. We still talk a couple of times a week, and I still love her.

 

It is a question to girls, would you date a guy shorter than you? Would you be willing to walk the aisle with him? Elaborate opinions on the overall issue would help. Thanks :)

 

 

I wouldn't stress on it man. If a girls feelin you its not gunna matter if your shorter than her. I'm 5/7 and i've dated girls as tall as 5/10 and short as 5 foot. If a taller girl rejects you then screw her and talk to someone else and dont give it another thought. if you keep thinking about it you'll go crazy lol

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Gottabestrong Established Member

Gottabestrong

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I would and have dated guys who were smaller/taller/fatter/thinner/etc than me. When I like someone I don't care about details like that.

movingon12 Established Member

movingon12

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I have dated guys shorter than me. It's really not a big deal. I think she's using it as an excuse tbh.

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justin8 Member

justin8

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I wouldn't stress on it man. If a girls feelin you its not gunna matter if your shorter than her. I'm 5/7 and i've dated girls as tall as 5/10 and short as 5 foot. If a taller girl rejects you then screw her and talk to someone else and dont give it another thought. if you keep thinking about it you'll go crazy lol

 

I don't know what happened, and why she broke up. And I tried NC but then feel that I should handle all this in a mature manner instead of being overly emotional about it. So I thought of letting go the NC thing.

 

So its going fine, we talk in every other day. She likes me, spending time with me, I am sure of that. I don't get it why she still won't accept me as her bf. Especially when she was the one totally into me initially.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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I don't know what happened, and why she broke up. And I tried NC but then feel that I should handle all this in a mature manner instead of being overly emotional about it. So I thought of letting go the NC thing.

 

So its going fine, we talk in every other day. She likes me, spending time with me, I am sure of that. I don't get it why she still won't accept me as her bf. Especially when she was the one totally into me initially.

 

She's not going to accept you as her boyfriend when she already has your support as a friend. If you really want to get with her, being there for her as a friend isn't going to do it.

blotter Established Member

blotter

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That's called being friend zoned. Your height probably isn't an issue but an easy way to keep you around as her gay best friend.

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justin8 Member

justin8

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She's not going to accept you as her boyfriend when she already has your support as a friend. If you really want to get with her, being there for her as a friend isn't going to do it.

 

I thought about that. But then, it felt like I am fading away from her life (and she from mine). I am most likely over the grieving period now, and have been going on with true priorities of mine. So can take a more "detached" view of all this. I will withdraw from her life for 2-3 weeks and see how the balance shifts.

 

She's told me she's looking for a new bf. I posted this specific issue of height as I just couldn't figure out what else happened (and she never mentioned this directly in my context, but she said she would prefer a guy taller than her to settle with). Our common friends, who saw me and her together for 3-4 months also say they can't figure what made her change her mind.

 

I think I've partially got my answer - height couldn't have been the factor alone.

 

@Simon Phoenix: with regard to your suggestion, I am afraid she just might get a new bf she's looking for. Although me staying in touch with her also only marginally lower the chances of that. So how do I go about winning her back buddy? (and I do want her back :)

Alice74 New Member

Alice74

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I think that your answer is that she's not that into you, after all. People date for a few months and break up all the time. One of them realize that the relationship is not fulfilling enough and move on.

 

I wouldn't beat myself up over this. If you want her back in your life that's fine, I personally would move on. What's going to happen later on, you guys are going to double date? That'd be awkward.

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Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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I thought about that. But then, it felt like I am fading away from her life (and she from mine). I am most likely over the grieving period now, and have been going on with true priorities of mine. So can take a more "detached" view of all this. I will withdraw from her life for 2-3 weeks and see how the balance shifts.

 

She's told me she's looking for a new bf. I posted this specific issue of height as I just couldn't figure out what else happened (and she never mentioned this directly in my context, but she said she would prefer a guy taller than her to settle with). Our common friends, who saw me and her together for 3-4 months also say they can't figure what made her change her mind.

 

I think I've partially got my answer - height couldn't have been the factor alone.

 

@Simon Phoenix: with regard to your suggestion, I am afraid she just might get a new bf she's looking for. Although me staying in touch with her also only marginally lower the chances of that. So how do I go about winning her back buddy? (and I do want her back :)

 

By bouncing completely and making her miss your presence. She doesn't miss you because you are there. She has you as an emotional tampon and a sounding board to use to find that boyfriend. If you have any chance, you have to make her miss you. And not 2-3 weeks necessarily, more like 2-3 months at least. I'd go NC, but if you don't want to do that, start by being less available -- when she calls, let it go to voicemail; when she texts, delay in answering and be short but polite when you answer. If she wants to get together, be too busy. Right now you are basically a safety net. She can get all of the emotional perks of having a guy companion without having to be intimate with you. She can get her emotional fix until she finds a guy she wants a physical fix from. Then you are SOL. So you have to deprive her to make her appreciate that value.

 

Will it work? Who knows, probably not. But it's a lot more effective than your current strategy.

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justin8 Member

justin8

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I guess I've dragged on all this for too long. Will try to find a better way around it. Just wish I don't return to this thread in next few weeks :p

 

Thank you

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justin8 Member

justin8

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In simple words, I would not think of "getting back" with her.

Samilia Established Member

Samilia

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I guess I've dragged on all this for too long. Will try to find a better way around it. Just wish I don't return to this thread in next few weeks :p

 

Thank you

 

Eh if you do it's ok, it's better than texting her or calling her drunk

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justin8 Member

justin8

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Eh if you do it's ok, it's better than texting her or calling her drunk

 

Actually I've returned here after having an emotional chat with her.

Samilia Established Member

Samilia

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Actually I've returned here after having an emotional chat with her.

 

That's why we're here. Share tips, listen to people vent, etc... emo talks aren't the best, I have found that out the hard (hard) way :)

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