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I panicked and gave a girl my number instead of getting hers, how do I set it right?


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Posted

Hi everyone!

This is my first post so be gentle! :)

 

Ok so a little bit of background - I was at gallery opening the other week when I briefly got chatting to a woman who worked at the reception desk. She was incredibly beautiful and had a sparkling attractive personality. I left that night kicking myself that I didn't talk to her more or get her number, but 3 days later when the gallery was next open, I did something I have never thought I would have the courage to do in my life, I went back to the gallery where she worked and talked to her again and asked her out there and then. BUT here's the problem:

 

We chatted for ages, it turns out we have a lot in common, and I think we genuinely connected, there was a lot of flirting from both of us. She's a foreign exchange student from South America, I'm here in Ireland (I just mention this in case any south americans or Irish people can lend their opinion on the situation and the cultural differences..). As I was leaving I said "we could talk for ages, would you like to get a coffee sometime?". And she said enthusiastically "YES! definitely"

She went to get a pen and paper and in a moment of panic I said to her, "I'll leave you my number, just send me a text if you fancy it" and wrote it down for her. We smiled and laughed a bit more then I left. Duh.

 

Now to give a bit of background, I'm in my late 20s and I've never actually asked a stranger out cold in such a way - all of my relationships have been with women I've been friends with or friends of friends and I've got to know them over time. I guess you could definitely say I'm one of those 'sensitive' guys, not a big macho man at all! So yes this was quite a big deal for me!

Anyway, that was 3 days ago and.. yes.. she hasn't texted me.

 

Did I make a major mistake by giving her my number instead of asking hers?

It's possible she was just flirting back and not actually interested (all men are vain enough to see that when it's not there). Also, it's possible she has a boyfriend, and would have liked to meet up for a coffee just to chat but never go as far to text because that would feel like cheating.

It's also racing through my mind: "god, what if she can't read my handwriting and texted the wrong number!!?"

 

Of course, I now know where she works - maybe I could just call in again sometime and get HER number this time and let her know I was serious about that coffee?

 

But would that seem stalkerish? Desperate? Should I just let this one go?

 

HELP!

Posted

You giving her your number is the gentleman thing to do. Women are concerned with privacy and stalk stuff and all.

 

I have a problem when you talk to someone like a receptionist whose job it is to be nice and friendly.

 

Maybe she wasnt interestd in you...all I can tell you is go back there when she is there and talk to her again.

  • Like 1
Posted

this privacy issue is true, like you dont give out your number to anyone but if I truly like someone privacy is a risk i take..i may hav econsequences to deal with later...i handle it like i habdle everything else...massive panic attack but i get through it.......deb

Posted

You did the right thing. It's more considerate to give someone your phone number. If she's interested, she'll text or call you. If she's not interested, she won't. That's how you'll know whether she likes you or not.;)

 

Most women understand that it's stressful to ask someone out. Rather than give you the cold shoulder and make the whole experience even more dreadful for you, they'll flirt back with you. In addition, as the receptionist, she had to be friendly. Basically, you can't read anything into her behavior. Her next action will tell you how she really feels.

 

Please don't go back to her workplace. Don't wait for her somewhere. All of that comes across as stalker-ish and truly creepy, and would be a complete turnoff! If she had been on the fence, she'll freak out and decide against seeing you.

 

Your handwriting was fine. If it were an issue she would have asked. You handled it all perfectly well. Your interest in her was clear. Absolutely nothing that you could have improved upon in that situation. Now you just have to sit on your hands...or go ask someone else out and get a little more practice, and a little more comfortable, asking women out.:)

 

FWIW, I'm not South American, but I lived in Colombia and Ecuador for a year, and travelled extensively in Chile. Men were far more aggressive there than they are in the US or Europe. But that really has nothing to do with your situation.

Posted

You just have to wait it out. I wouldn't suggest going back to see her as she may feel uncomfortable, especially since she hasn't texted you.

 

You have to put them on the spot. I don't give them my number, nor do I ask for it in the traditional sense. I hand her my phone with a blank contact page on the screen and say "Here". No girl has ever given me the phone back blank or said "sorry I can't because ____". Be bold next time. Hand her your phone.

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