napy666 Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Whenever I get a message from a guy, or I message a guy I noticed this happens. We'll talk all day and all night the first day and then for a few more days afterwards, the guy and I really hitting it off. And then the guy just disappears altogether and doesn't speak to me until a month or even weeks later. Why do guys do this, when they said they really liked me and wanted to get to know me, etc.
MrCastle Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Are you making the effort to contact him first? I do this all the time as a measure of interest. For the first few weeks I don't mind being the aggressor and doing the chasing, but eventually I have to make sure this girl is into me, so I'll stop initiating to see if she bites. Usually the longest they'll wait is a week before caving. Anything longer than a week and odds are she's not going to contact you and you should move on. Any girl that didn't make contact with me within a week's time, I ended up never hearing from her again. 2
sid3 Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 There's only three possibilities, he either has lots of options, he's not that attracted to you, or he's trying to make himself seem unavailable.
Author napy666 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 I hate having to always message the guy first tho everyday? Why can't they do it? Haha To me if I message them once everyday isn't that showing that ONLY I AM INTERESTED and NOT them?
Divasu Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Are you actually dating each other or just texting?
Author napy666 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 Are you actually dating each other or just texting? Just texting and talking on the phone getting to know one another. We are both busy with schooling, work, etc. So it is hard to communicate on and off.
Divasu Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Just texting and talking on the phone getting to know one another. We are both busy with schooling, work, etc. So it is hard to communicate on and off. Okay, that makes sense. So, what would you like to happen?
Feelin Frisky Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Sorry to say it but I would only do that if I cooled on a girl or started seeing someone else. All I can advise is to be careful not to exaggerate. You used the term "guys" and that sounds like the kind of thing that people tell themselves which makes a few disappointments into a global crisis.
sweetkiwi Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Its not only guys that do this. Its more exciting in the beginning. But online it can get boring quick. Or you are busy, distracted etc. Don't take it personal. Email them back.
Ami1uwant Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Haha alright. guys (and girls) change their behavior.... why do guys change.... 1. If you have dated a few times and you have established exclusivity he feels more comfortable with you and feels like he doesnt have to be on pins and needles and can revert to his old self which means he doesnt really like talking to you about mundane stuff. 2. He has moved on...never assume you are the only one he talks to. There are others. He may feel he has differences with you or he feels he has more in common with another woman so he wants to pursue other woman and see if it works out...by disappearing from you he opens up the door to some back to you if this doesnt work out. and he does it because if he honestly thinks you are a good person, he doesnt want to hurt your feelings. 3. This is much more common with online dating courtship than in real life courtship (like meeting in a bar) ---if people get very busy for a few days or are talking to multiple individuals they can easily forget about one. Its hard to juggle communicating with 4-6 women at one time....should be an olympic sport. Also if you are primarily communicating by email or text never assume they received your last message. They very easily could be thinking you blew off them so they dont call.
Charlie Harper Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 You expect people to read your mind....youll get this. I am Always forthcoming with my feelings, if I like the person I am seeing-dating-chatting whatever, let them know I will call twice and on the second one if I dont get responses or be ignored I wont call back, I am no begging person, and I dont like drama. It works wonders, even if I call a super busy woman and they ignore me or tell me they cant talk I just say remember this is my secong call, the ball is on your side of court now. 9 times out of ten they will apologize via whatsapp and then call or call later and invite me out. SAY WHAT YOU WANT, HOW YOU FEEL youll avoid tons of stupid games with that...
Author napy666 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 You expect people to read your mind....youll get this. I am Always forthcoming with my feelings, if I like the person I am seeing-dating-chatting whatever, let them know I will call twice and on the second one if I dont get responses or be ignored I wont call back, I am no begging person, and I dont like drama. It works wonders, even if I call a super busy woman and they ignore me or tell me they cant talk I just say remember this is my secong call, the ball is on your side of court now. 9 times out of ten they will apologize via whatsapp and then call or call later and invite me out. SAY WHAT YOU WANT, HOW YOU FEEL youll avoid tons of stupid games with that... uh what do you mean by that?
Shaun-Dro Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 I hate having to always message the guy first tho everyday? Why can't they do it? Haha To me if I message them once everyday isn't that showing that ONLY I AM INTERESTED and NOT them? Are you setting up dates with these guys? Men get tired of women who only want to text and chat on the phone but never meet up.
todreaminblue Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 I hate having to always message the guy first tho everyday? Why can't they do it? Haha To me if I message them once everyday isn't that showing that ONLY I AM INTERESTED and NOT them? I did this i sent three texts ........once a day i inserted a couple of days break in there so he didnt feel stalked.......i tried to make the texts so light a bit funny....insert sadface...he never replied...i didnt send anymore.....i let him be....... i dotn liek initiating for me to do it i am invested in that person replying to me...even if it i sto say rack off deb......hate ya....lol...i am kidding...i do like replies...might seem selfish is it?....i give up i am hopeless..... i feel a guy should initiate that's the way it used to be.......that is selfish of me guys think it is so hard to send a text try texting when you get paranoia....that's hard....if i can do it anyone can......i feel if soemoen texts a reply should be given....postivie or negative....the only time i have been a non replyer is if i m sick in a relationship i text no matter what i feel i will reply to a person i care about even if i feel like crap........deb
Author napy666 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 The guy only talks to me whenever I contact him and that sucks.
thatone Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 The guy only talks to me whenever I contact him and that sucks. If you haven't met in person why are you so worried about this? Have any of these guys offered to meet in person?
Author napy666 Posted December 19, 2012 Author Posted December 19, 2012 No we were going to meet evenutally but we were still getting to know each other or trying too but he just wasn't talking to me ha.
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