LoveTKO Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 The MW I was seeing has imposed some NC measure by not returning calls etc. She has done this before when stressful situations in her life get to her, or when reality hits her. She's could be mad at me too though come to think of it, or she's over the whole thing, just as I am over the whole charade as well This girl is emotional high maintenance though, not in the sense that she's a drama queen or an attention monger....far from it! Seeing her is balancing that fine line of knowing when to contact her and what to say. Contact her a little bit too much and she'll remind you that she has a busy life.....Ignore her for a while and give her space and she'll question you if you're seeing someone else, etc. Very independent and driven, although figuring out all of her nuances is akin to mastering an algebraic equation at times. What I can say is that I miss talking to her, her company, smile, etc., a lot, but I'm not longing for anything physical. We had a long talk about this ill fated FWB going nowhere, so perhaps she put the proactive kibosh on the whole deal....who knows. I hope that she's happy and can sort things out.
Cali408 Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Good, now that she came to her senses, next time she calls, ignore her. You're done move on. Congratulations!
MissBee Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Good, now that she came to her senses, next time she calls, ignore her. You're done move on. Congratulations! Doesn't seem like LoveTKO is interested in moving on. He's just wondering why she seems to have moved on it looks like. He talks about figuring out the "right balance" of ignoring and engaging, so it appears as though this is just a current cycle of ignoring initiated by her, but once she starts responding again, then the A will continue. Correct me if I'm wrong LoveTKO. Are you done with MW or is it just that she's not speaking to you so you have no choice, but if she calls you up tomorrow you'll be willing to continue? From what I remember of your story this seems to be your dynamic with her. You posted before about why was she doing XYZ/what was going through her mind (kind of like this thread about wonder why she's in NC) and most people were like well why does it matter, you're still around so does it matter? It was a similar thing too about her not speaking to you sometimes and then you guys starting back up. So is this just more of the usual?
Author LoveTKO Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 Doesn't seem like LoveTKO is interested in moving on. He's just wondering why she seems to have moved on it looks like. He talks about figuring out the "right balance" of ignoring and engaging, so it appears as though this is just a current cycle of ignoring initiated by her, but once she starts responding again, then the A will continue. Correct me if I'm wrong LoveTKO. Are you done with MW or is it just that she's not speaking to you so you have no choice, but if she calls you up tomorrow you'll be willing to continue? From what I remember of your story this seems to be your dynamic with her. You posted before about why was she doing XYZ/what was going through her mind (kind of like this thread about wonder why she's in NC) and most people were like well why does it matter, you're still around so does it matter? It was a similar thing too about her not speaking to you sometimes and then you guys starting back up. So is this just more of the usual? Not really......things have really cooled off for quite a while now. For me, it was getting to the point where having sex became robotic and routine. Not that the sex wasn't good, but I've had way more chemistry with other women. We both agree that we make great friends and I often wonder if we could have just been friends instead.
MissBee Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Not really......things have really cooled off for quite a while now. For me, it was getting to the point where having sex became robotic and routine. Not that the sex wasn't good, but I've had way more chemistry with other women. We both agree that we make great friends and I often wonder if we could have just been friends instead. So you've actually made a decision to be over with the A or is it just it's cooled off and you're playing it by ear kind of thing?
Author LoveTKO Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 So you've actually made a decision to be over with the A or is it just it's cooled off and you're playing it by ear kind of thing? I'm done....tired. been that way for a long time.
MissBee Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 I'm done....tired. been that way for a long time. Oh okay. Good for you!
whichwayisup Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 This girl is emotional high maintenance though, not in the sense that she's a drama queen or an attention monger....far from it! Seeing her is balancing that fine line of knowing when to contact her and what to say. Contact her a little bit too much and she'll remind you that she has a busy life.....Ignore her for a while and give her space and she'll question you if you're seeing someone else, Ahh, the cat and mouse game. And it'll continue on as long as you keep playing.
Cali408 Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 You can't be friends. Be done. Good for you. 3
skylarblue Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 And I guarantee if you ask her how often should you call, she'd say whenever you want (possibly even adding: but not too much). Emotionally high maintenance? Yeah, people with narcissistic tendencies generally are (and this coming from someone with). At anytime, you can be damned if you do and damned if you don't. Why? Because it depends on the mood of the other person and your ability to be an omnipotent god that can tap into her mind and decide what will not be an irritant at that very moment. So, here's the secret: you'll never figure her out because it's not you, it's her. It's her personality. It's a selfish one (the trait, not saying her). As I said, it is a narcissistic tendency. That fine line is probably covered in egg shells. I don't know/recall your story at all, but I'd put money on the fact that your feelings don't factor in any way in her actions or decisions. That's why you don't know. Or maybe you do know from previous behavior (hell , I don't know you or her and I know from just what I've read here). When and if it suits her, she'll call you. It's too bad that you seem to be getting the short end of the stick in the R.
todreaminblue Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 The MW I was seeing has imposed some NC measure by not returning calls etc. She has done this before when stressful situations in her life get to her, or when reality hits her. She's could be mad at me too though come to think of it, or she's over the whole thing, just as I am over the whole charade as well This girl is emotional high maintenance though, not in the sense that she's a drama queen or an attention monger....far from it! Seeing her is balancing that fine line of knowing when to contact her and what to say. Contact her a little bit too much and she'll remind you that she has a busy life.....Ignore her for a while and give her space and she'll question you if you're seeing someone else, etc. Very independent and driven, although figuring out all of her nuances is akin to mastering an algebraic equation at times. What I can say is that I miss talking to her, her company, smile, etc., a lot, but I'm not longing for anything physical. We had a long talk about this ill fated FWB going nowhere, so perhaps she put the proactive kibosh on the whole deal....who knows. I hope that she's happy and can sort things out. high emotional maintenance women are not for every guy, they are for guys who have patience in their tool belt and compassion...or builders with a staple gun and a drill..have you ever seen a panel beater put one too mnay dents in the body of the car that si what men without compassion do too emotional women they beat up that car and do burn outs......and that car can turn into a car that is way too fast for them.....so they beat it up even more....maybe it wasnt meant to be with yrou woman....if that si the case im sure you will fidn a car more yoru speed .....relationships all of them need maintaining.......or they dotn run./...some need more maintaining than others.......is it worth it??having a car no one else knows how to maintain ......i would say yes..hard work though......so hard work isnt for everyone.....thats not your fault if it isnt..every equation has a solution however......thats the joy of algebra.when you come up with the answer yourself its worth working out the equation in the first place.........deb
Author LoveTKO Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 (edited) And I guarantee if you ask her how often should you call, she'd say whenever you want (possibly even adding: but not too much). It's too bad that you seem to be getting the short end of the stick in the R. -Your first statement that I highlighted is 100% spot on. - short end of the stick? I don't think so. Since I never really had a a serious emotional investment in this deal, it was rather nice having someone show up a couple of times a week and offer no strings attached sex. This went on for a loooong time! What's rather interesting is the fact that she claims to not really know me, or how, what, I feel after all this time. I'm just as independent as she is. She liked that about me; no drama and I knew exactly how to play her, even though she thought she was the one pulling the strings. She has to be a selfish person for being such a pathological cake-eater. Unfortunately, for her to maintain this tryst with me for so long just means that I enabled her selfish behavior. I must be really good at being a bad boy. : ( Edited December 13, 2012 by LoveTKO
skylarblue Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Really, just FWB? I'm not questioning its truth. I'm just really surprised at that from reading the thread. Not the kind of vibe I got at all, dude. How long did you see each other? I knew exactly how to play her, even though she thought she was the one pulling the strings. Funny, how that goes sometimes. Sometimes it's the best way to handle a situation. It's amazing how happy someone can be when they THINK they're in control (and that's not confined to just adults or romance).
Author LoveTKO Posted December 14, 2012 Author Posted December 14, 2012 Really, just FWB? I'm not questioning its truth. I'm just really surprised at that from reading the thread. Not the kind of vibe I got at all, dude. How long did you see each other? Funny, how that goes sometimes. Sometimes it's the best way to handle a situation. It's amazing how happy someone can be when they THINK they're in control (and that's not confined to just adults or romance). About three years. This is going to sound odd, but there were may times where I felt obligated to perform in a sense. Don't know how to explain it. I dig her as a person, her looks, intelligence, pragmatic way of thinking, and she is great company. The sex part, though, I was extremely nervous about in the beginning because of her "situation". Make no mistake about it, I called her out on numerous occasions about the facts that her husband isn't the jerk that she made him out to be at times, and she did concede that he actually is a nice guy for the most part - she just isn't attracted to him. It was a weird dichotomy. On the one hand I was listening to her vent, and shutting her down when she began to embellish, but I would then end up sleeping with her. A surreal, detached type of out-of-body experience sometimes.
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