Mysterious1 Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 I have been dating one of my co-worker for about 2 weeks now. He was the one that pursued me and after some time I decided to give it a try. Everything was fine up until this past Friday. He went out of town on Friday and I haven't heard from him since. I texted and called and have not gotten a reply back. What could be the reasoning? Why do guys just disappear? Is he playing a game? We don't usually work the same shift. He works the day shift and I work the night shift. Today, however, we are working the same shift. Do I ask him what is up or do I just play it cool like nothing is bothering me? We made plans last week to have dinner together later on today. Should I bring this up when I see him at work or do I let him bring it up? I'm at a loss because all was good until he stopped the communication and also because he was the one that pursued me. We haven't had sex or anything yet so I'm sure that he wasn't just trying to get in my pants and ignore me. 1
mammasita Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 My thought is yes, he is playing games and I'm betting there is someone else monopolizing his time while he is "out of town". Sounds like a player to me, a text takes all of 30 seconds. 1
Author Mysterious1 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 I just don't understand why people play games. Okay, so he pursued me but if it isn't what he wanted he could at least tell me. A text doesn't take but less than a minute. Why make it awkward, especially when we work together? Men are so complicated. 1
tigressA Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 People who are truly, consistently interested are not complicated when it comes to dating. Ignoring = Not Interested That's all you need to get out of this. That's all there is. Time to forget this guy and move forward. 3
Author Mysterious1 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 I will never understand men. I should just put up a wall and live behind it. Time to move on. 1
Author Mysterious1 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 I did ask him what was going on and he said he is overwhelmed with work. He was so overwhelmed that he got off from work yesterday and made time to go to the gym but yet couldn't take out a minute of his time to text me. Not good enough of a reason for me to keep reaching out to him.
sid3 Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Yep, forget this guy, he's just not that into you. Don't take it personally, there's bound to be thousands of guys out there that will be.
Shaun-Dro Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 I have been dating one of my co-worker for about 2 weeks now. He was the one that pursued me and after some time I decided to give it a try. Everything was fine up until this past Friday. He went out of town on Friday and I haven't heard from him since. I texted and called and have not gotten a reply back. What could be the reasoning? Why do guys just disappear? Is he playing a game? We don't usually work the same shift. He works the day shift and I work the night shift. Today, however, we are working the same shift. Do I ask him what is up or do I just play it cool like nothing is bothering me? We made plans last week to have dinner together later on today. Should I bring this up when I see him at work or do I let him bring it up? I'm at a loss because all was good until he stopped the communication and also because he was the one that pursued me. We haven't had sex or anything yet so I'm sure that he wasn't just trying to get in my pants and ignore me. Perhaps he's lost a fraction of interest in you. Has he been the one to keep at you without getting much effort in return? That could be a possibility to entertain or maybe his phone got shut off. The only way to find out is to confront him. It's not rocket science.
Author Mysterious1 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 Perhaps he's lost a fraction of interest in you. Has he been the one to keep at you without getting much effort in return? That could be a possibility to entertain or maybe his phone got shut off. The only way to find out is to confront him. It's not rocket science. I reached out to him almost everyday, whether it be text or calling. I know that his phone isn't cut off because he acknowledged that he received my texts and calls earlier when I ran into him at work. He said he's overwhelmed with work and things that are going on at home. That could be a legitimate reason but it doesn't excuse the fact that he did not attempt to call or respond to my text. It sucks because I was starting to like him but its time I put my walls back up. Things were going well and then all of a sudden he goes cold turkey and stops communicating.
sarinana Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Familiar situation! I also got slightly too involved with a coworker who kept pursuing me. However, from my perspective he was just looking for a booty call. I didn't sleep with him but been texting him dirty like a perv I am! Everything was going smooth for a while but then he disappeared. He didn't show up to work nor replied to my texts. I thought he has left the job without telling anyone and in two weeks time he was out of my head. But he didn't. He came back after 3 weeks and the same story began once again. We got a little further sexually this time. He gave me a very nice cunnilingus and then I kicked him out of my house. Since words wouldn't work I thought this gesture would make him understand that I am not looking for casual sex also if he just sees me as a sexual object I've got no obligations to having his head between my legs, but my head is not going anywhere close to his. That didn't push him away and he kept showing interest till once again he disappeared. I was pretty pissed off this time and I have let him know that in a text. As expected there was no reply. Next week he showed up in work and I accidentally bumped into him but he acted all sweet and flirty like everything was fine. I even made my angriest face to let him know that it is not fine yet he still tried to grab my hand (as he usually does) and winked at me. I thought I am going to explode! Few days later we spoke about this and he apologized saying that he is busy with the studies(he is a 3rd year student). Would like to believe in this but I would rather won't. I already drew a conclusion in my head that he is probably romantically interested in some other girl who is not giving him any so he is hoping I am gonna help him with his sexual frustrations. He is away now to see his family for Christmas holidays and he told me he is going to miss me and that I should wait for him till he comes back if I want more cunnilingus (he is well good at it!) but I think I should stop wasting my energy and time and rather spend some quality time with other men who are actually into me emotionally and not only physically. Ps sorry for my ridiculous usage of English. It is not my first language, hopefully I will be forgiven.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 I just don't understand why people play games. Ego boost. "Conqueror" mentality. Even if there is no sex involved, he could still be getting a kick out of the fact that he could get a woman to date him, then drop her like a hot pot.
CptSaveAho Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Ego boost. "Conqueror" mentality. Even if there is no sex involved, he could still be getting a kick out of the fact that he could get a woman to date him, then drop her like a hot pot. Give me a break... You have been dating 2 weeks... and you expect him to respond immediately at every call and text... might want to check the mirror darling I'm sure if a guy posted his story here, the women would call him, needy and insecure if he texted and called EVERY DAY and you would return the same treatment to him as he is returning to her Hypocrites
Tara247 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 It's only been two weeks! You don't own him. Slow down a bit here. You're acting really clingy.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 (edited) Give me a break... You have been dating 2 weeks... and you expect him to respond immediately at every call and text... might want to check the mirror darling I'm sure if a guy posted his story here, the women would call him, needy and insecure if he texted and called EVERY DAY and you would return the same treatment to him as he is returning to her Hypocrites I wouldn't call a guy needy if he texted or called me "almost" every day. I'd call him "interested." If he called me three times a day, sure. But there is nothing wrong with wanting to talk to someone you like. Some people don't like texting and prefer communicating by voice. There's nothing clingy about calling someone that you're interested in every day, especially after you've known them for 2 weeks. I am sure OP did not call him 10 times a day. She probably sent him a text, and did not get an answer back for a few days, after which she tried mssging him again and probably also calling him. I would've done the same thing. If you are turned off by me for one reason or another (including the belief that I am too "clingy"), say it to my face instead of making me wonder what's wrong and stringing me along. Men claim they are straightforward , that they do not go around an issue. They just deal with things directly and like "solving" problems. If that is the case, this guy is getting a kick out of getting OP to chase him, rather than merely being uninterested. If he were not interested, he could've just told her so. Also, give me a break, it takes me literally 2 seconds to send someone a text mssg. Edited December 15, 2012 by NoMoreJerks
Tara247 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 I just reread this. If you were supposed to have a date last night, he should have called you or responded to your text by the time you posted. I was thinking that he went out of town and was busy. I don't know time-frame from when you first texted to your thread starting post.
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