Emissary Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 So after a disappointing conclusion to a potential relationship with a girl I really liked, this other girl I'm friends with asked me if I would like to meet one of her co-workers who happens to be single. I managed to determine her name after being given some basic information about her, decided she was cute and worth a go. Anyway, through our mutual friend, we agreed to go for coffee. Before that could happen though, she was going away to Mexico for two weeks, so we held off scheduling a meeting until she got back. In those two weeks I did some snooping and I found her Twitter account, she's a party animal, drunk every weekend, a pretty solid deal breaker to be honest. Fast forward two weeks, my friend confirmed the party animal thing but said she didn't know before I mentioned it. She told me that she was asked to just give me her number so we could get in touch for real now that she was back from vacation. Though, I've made up my mind, I'm not going to meet her, I can do better than her and I'm setting my sights far too low. Our mutual friend went on vacation to Vegas just before I made that decision, so I'm wondering what I should do. Should I just text the girl and tell her I'm not interested, or just not say anything at all? How do I go about rejecting her without seeming like a jerk?
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Yeah, you can text her and say you're not interested. Either that or have the friend relay the message to her.
sweetkiwi Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Just tell her you changed your mind. Its always better to hear it from the person. Being honest doesn't mean you'll look like a jerk. I just told a nice guy i didn't want to go on another date with him. He asked why and then said i was making excuses...... Honesty is still the best policy no matter how they handle it. 1
edgygirl Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Everyone goes through party animal drunk phases. Why is it such a deal breaker? Haven't you gone through it at some point? Doesn't mean she can't be a sweet girl who is just a little lost right now. Sometimes we also create an online persona that when we want people to think we're having the fun of our lives. Maybe what you saw it's only her trying to be cool and coming off in a way that it's not her really. You'd be surprised. Maybe you should reconsider cancelling. What can be so bad about meeting her? In any case, maybe it's better to say that meanwhile you met someone else and want to see where it goes. Although I wish people would just say the truth so we learn to improve ourselves and how people see us: "Hey I saw your twitter while you were traveling and I realized you're not what I'm looking for, you're too much of a party animal".
Divasu Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 How about: "I changed my mind about our coffee date and I need to cancel altogether, but I wish you all the best".
Els Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Don't make your friend relay the message, it's not fair to her to put her through all that when she's done you a favour by trying to help get you a date. Just text the date yourself. Divasu's suggestion sounds okay.
Fondue Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 It has been two weeks, right? I assume you guys did not keep contact for that duration. Just avoid contacting her. She's likely not going to contact you about that blind date, as she probably has her own things she could be doing (like you said, "party animal"). If she doesn't contact you and you don't contact her, all is well. If she decides to contact you about it, then you could tell her you lost interest in those two weeks off. Don't make it difficult on yourself by having to be vigilant and get back to her JUST to tell her you're no longer going to be seeing her for a blind date.
Author Emissary Posted December 14, 2012 Author Posted December 14, 2012 Everyone goes through party animal drunk phases. Why is it such a deal breaker? Haven't you gone through it at some point? Doesn't mean she can't be a sweet girl who is just a little lost right now. Sometimes we also create an online persona that when we want people to think we're having the fun of our lives. Maybe what you saw it's only her trying to be cool and coming off in a way that it's not her really. You'd be surprised. Maybe you should reconsider cancelling. What can be so bad about meeting her? The closest I ever came to a party animal phase was going to roughly one party every three weeks. It's a deal breaker because I hate the party lifestyle and it would make things very difficult to work with. She also smokes, uses swearwords liberally, and spells worse than this dyslexic girl I saw briefly, even during the weekdays when she would be sober. These phases can take years to grow out of, and I'm not expecting anybody to make changes just for me, but I'm also not in the market for a weekday girlfriend either. Like I said, I can do better, there's tons of girls who don't like partying as much as possible or even drinking for that matter.
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