Why do guys contact you out of the blue ages after they've ended things?

[Cealabeala]

It drives me crazy when guys do this, and it's happened to me loads of times with different guys.

 

A guy I was seeing casually during the summer stopped contacting me abruptly without any reason that was obvious to me a few months in. I asked him why but didn't get a straight answer so I decided to let it go. A little while later he did text me while drunk from a festival, which I later found out was because my friend ran into him and ended up having a talk about me with him saying how much he liked me and how perfect I was for him. But after that weekend when I tried to get back in contact with him he didn't reply and so while I was confused, I decided (again) that I should just move on. I felt that he definitely couldn't be in doubt that I liked him so he was choosing not to take things further for reasons of his own. I moved to another city at the end of the summer and kind of forgot about him.

 

Obviously that was a long while ago and I haven't heard from him since, except from a little bit of contact on Facebook about a month ago, just a silly comment on something I posted. And now he's recently sent me a message about how something has reminded him of me and he's been thinking about me.

 

I know there could be loads of potential reasons for why he ended things but what I really don't understand is why he's bothering to contact me now, after ignoring all my attempts to contact him just after we had been spending time together. I don't think he could want to rekindle things, since he must be aware that I've since moved to another city.

 

Other guys have done this before, and I'm just wondering if anyone can tell me the motivation for doing this, preferably people who have done something similar themselves before.

[Confused in STL]

He may be between relationships and sees you as a less expensive option than renting a vag.ina. If he had any real emotional feelings or regrets he would have responded to your original attempts to work things out. My opinion YMMV.

[Sugarkane]

I really find it a bit rich when guys do this. Suddenly when they're alone that's the only time you're considered an option. Why couldn't he give you an answer? I'd ask why am I an option now? Too little, too late. Yet if a dumpee contacts after NC we are laughed at and insulted. Double standards! What's changed?

[Tiera D]

nothing changed in this world everything only get worst,i believe some day everybody in this world will eventually become narrcistic , marriage will become extinct and any man and woman relationship will be sex based only,quite sad we are more and more similar to animals

 

TD

[Amelie1980]

Mine never have. there's always been a clean break.

 

One of my exes asked me for coffee a week after we broke up and I got my hopes up. but it was just to check of I was ok. nothing more.

[Cealabeala]

He may be between relationships and sees you as a less expensive option than renting a vag.ina. If he had any real emotional feelings or regrets he would have responded to your original attempts to work things out. My opinion YMMV.

 

My mileage does vary. He's not messed up/ ugly/ lame enough to have to pay for meaningless sex. But thanks, bye.

[Confused in STL]

Why do guys contact you out of the blue ages after they've ended things?

 

My mileage does vary. He's not messed up/ ugly/ lame enough to have to pay for meaningless sex. But thanks, bye.

 

My reply attempt was somewhat crude but a indeed a reason why guys contact a woman after they've ended things...

Edited December 13, 2012 by Confused in STL

[sleepless in sd]

My reply attempt was somewhat crude but a indeed a reason why guys contact a woman after they've ended things...

 

I was going to weigh in and suggest the same thing. He may genuinely enjoy your company, but really only looking to hook up. It's a shame more people can't be honest with their intentions.

 

Seeing someone primarily for sex isn't necessarily a bad thing as long as all parties involved are in on it, yk?

[Cealabeala]

He may genuinely enjoy your company, but really only looking to hook up.

 

I just don't think so, since I'm living in another city. I doubt he expects me to travel for hours to see him for a hook-up, or make the effort to visit me. I'll ask him straight out and see what he says.

[flitzanu]

"Why do guys contact you out of the blue ages after they've ended things?

 

usually to try to have sex with you, or keep the doors open to have sex with you in the future.